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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just sack off this weekend

232 replies

TomAllenWife · 07/09/2021 06:46

Don't want to post too much as outing, but if you were due to go on a weekend away on Friday and still no arrangements had been made regarding leaving time, travel, food or sleeping arrangements would you bother?

Despite asking repeatedly I'm just getting nowhere.

I do suffer with anxiety and need a plan to work to, I need to be organised.

Would you just stay home?

OP posts:
mildlymiffed · 07/09/2021 06:56

It's Tuesday though. I think your jumping the gun a bit.

Is there any reason why you can't take on these tasks? Is the person organising it tied up with other things?

WimpoleHat · 07/09/2021 06:58

It’s only Tuesday morning- and first thing at that! If it’s a relatively casual “let’s get away at the weekend” arrangement, I can’t see why it’s a problem?

BritishSummertime · 07/09/2021 07:00

That would really frustrate me too, I'd want to start packing, thinking about what food I need to buy etc which I couldn't do if I didn't have any info.

I'm definitely a prepper rather than last minute/winging it type though.

YellowandGreenToBeSeen · 07/09/2021 07:00

Is there a reason why you can’t make the arrangements? As in, is it a surprise for you? If not, can you research the location, travel arrangements, hotel etc?

Original poster
TomAllenWife · 07/09/2021 07:01

Ok maybe it's just me being a bit sensitive and anxious

I'm working all week as is everyone else going so we all need to pick up some food
We're taking 2 cars, I'm driving, I'd really like to know at least a rough time we're leaving

OP posts:
garlictwist · 07/09/2021 07:04

It's only Tuesday - there's still plenty of time to make plans.

LegendaryReady · 07/09/2021 07:04

I like a plan too. In this situation I'd make the plan.

beardeddragon174 · 07/09/2021 07:06

I feel you. I'd at least want to know what time to leave and what food I might need!

TokyoSushi · 07/09/2021 07:06

Make the plan then...

Severntrent · 07/09/2021 07:09

You could suggest the arrangements to everyone? And if you don't hear otherwise then assume that's what is happening.

Original poster
TomAllenWife · 07/09/2021 07:10

But I can't plan for everyone!

And I can't buy 3 days food for everyone.

I have asked what is best time to leave but it's like random replies 'shall we stop', 'shall we shop on the way' etc etc

OP posts:
PatchworkElmer · 07/09/2021 07:11

So there are some plans if you know you’re driving. Just say what time you intend to leave and what food you’ll be buying.

LegendaryReady · 07/09/2021 07:12

@TomAllenWife

But I can't plan for everyone!

And I can't buy 3 days food for everyone.

I have asked what is best time to leave but it's like random replies 'shall we stop', 'shall we shop on the way' etc etc

Someone's going to have to lead the plan for everyone surely?
HugeAckmansWife · 07/09/2021 07:12

25 hr supermarkets. 2 cars so can be flexible, really not a fine detail plan needed. Don't forget it's first week back at school for lots of people so their head might be in that space right now.

R0tational · 07/09/2021 07:13

Set a time. Buy your food. Everyone else will sort themselves out. It's OK. Don't plan to go away with them again - I am not sure you are are on the same page as them (which is fine).

MaverickDanger · 07/09/2021 07:13

Tbh if I was a passenger going on this trip, I’d assume that the driver would let me know what time they were setting off.

LIZS · 07/09/2021 07:13

Can you do a click and collect order to pick up locally? Offer to take a meal for first night then organise the weekend once there.

HugeAckmansWife · 07/09/2021 07:14

24hr supermarkets!! You decide if you're driving
OK I plan to leave 6. There's a Tesco a x so we'll stop there and grab whatever people want.

Dozer · 07/09/2021 07:17

If accommodation isn’t booked then the weekend isn’t confirmed IMO! If you’re visiting a friend or have accommodation then YABU.

If you’re driving would just state your leaving time for both ends of the journey: if people want a lift they can fit in.

tiredanddangerous · 07/09/2021 07:17

What @MaverickDanger said. I'd expect the person driving me to tell me what the plan was tbh.

I need a fixed plan too well in advance though op so I understand why it's making you anxious.

LegendaryReady · 07/09/2021 07:17

If I was getting lots of vague replies I'd reply:

"OK let's leave at 9am, stop at xyz. A you buy bread, milk, eggs and bacon, B can you get something for dinner and I'll bring the beer and some tea and coffee, is that OK with everyone."

People say yes because they don't really care and they're glad someone has stepped up or they say no, let's have a kitty and do the shop when we get there.

Unless you don't really want to go and are hoping it doesn't happen. In which case, do that.

NashvilleQueen · 07/09/2021 07:19

And these are friends? I don't understand why you can't just message them and say 'right, I'll pick x up at 8.30, z up at 9, I'm bringing this you're bringing that'

And round off with an offer to amend plans if need be.

If you know who is going and where then the fine tuning can happen quite close to the day. If you're someone who is fretting about this now then take control of the situation.

NashvilleQueen · 07/09/2021 07:20

Almost identical post to Legendary there!

Wilkolampshade · 07/09/2021 07:21

Is a WA group discussion?
If so, yep, I think you're being a bit panicky and over anxious. (I know this, because I have to try really hard not to be like this too.)
As other OP's say, it's only Tuesday, but two things:
1/ state clearly " I need a plan and have decided we should leave at x time." then everyone knows what they're working to and any problems this throws up can be negotiated. If they don't conclude anything then stick with the original time.
2/ also state "As I'm driving, I'm not doing the food planning and buying, you guys can organise that."
Hope you have a great time. X

RazorSharp · 07/09/2021 07:22

Take the lead?

Presumably if you're driving and you pull out then you'll ruin others plans?