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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just sack off this weekend

232 replies

TomAllenWife · 07/09/2021 06:46

Don't want to post too much as outing, but if you were due to go on a weekend away on Friday and still no arrangements had been made regarding leaving time, travel, food or sleeping arrangements would you bother?

Despite asking repeatedly I'm just getting nowhere.

I do suffer with anxiety and need a plan to work to, I need to be organised.

Would you just stay home?

OP posts:
moynomore · 07/09/2021 08:20

I have no idea what supermarkets are en route
I only have a rough idea that it's about a 2 hour drive

Not really fair of you to expect someone else to do all the work. Look up supermarkets on a map app. Sounds like you don't like these people and don't want to go for other reasons. These excuses are silly.

Mindyourbusiness22 · 07/09/2021 08:29

If not having a plan makes you anxious then take control and make the plan. No need to make this a big thing and cancel.

Mindyourbusiness22 · 07/09/2021 08:30

@TomAllenWife

But I can't plan for everyone!

And I can't buy 3 days food for everyone.

I have asked what is best time to leave but it's like random replies 'shall we stop', 'shall we shop on the way' etc etc

The go and buy your share of the food and let everyone know what you’re buying. Your stressing yourself out.
DameAlyson · 07/09/2021 08:31

I have no idea what supermarkets are en route

Easy enough to find out. Google 'supermarkets Town Name' and you get a map showing store locations and a list of stores and their closing times.

LegendaryReady · 07/09/2021 08:34

In the olden days I used to write to the local tourist board for local information and plan the route and stops on a paper map. Then you had to contact each member of the group individually or arrange to meet up to discuss. Come on, it's so easy now Grin

Fairlyurgentdecision · 07/09/2021 08:39

You must know vaguely where it is? Fhs just ask

SpeakingFranglais · 07/09/2021 08:42

Don’t sack it off, I get your anxiety so try to relax.

Group message “hey guys, we can’t check in until 4pm, so I suggest we leave at 12:00 and do a group bulk shop and split the bill at Tesco at Suntown-on-Sea which is half a hour from the destination”

Anyone that doesn’t agree will shout out.

VividImaginationAgain · 07/09/2021 08:43

I get it OP. This is why I so rarely go away. I would either decide you are not going or call the friend with the details of the accommodation so you can work out a travel plan. Take wine and get a takeaway the first night then sort out food shopping the next morning.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 07/09/2021 08:44

[quote NatashaRf]@TomAllenWife "I have no idea what supermarkets are en route
I only have a rough idea that it's about a 2 hour drive"

Surely then you're the one not planning?

Isn't hard on google maps. I'm an over planner and I'd've been checking the route already even if I wasn't the driver! [/quote]
Did you fail to notice that the OP doesn't know where she's going?

Snog · 07/09/2021 08:45

It's a pita when you are going on a joint trip and nobody is a natural planner, especially if you are someone who needs a plan!

2 options here

  1. YOU need to make the plan eg we leave at 3pm calling in at x supermarket or
  2. don't go away with a group unless one of them is a planner/organiser
Bagamoyo1 · 07/09/2021 08:48

I’m confused by this post. Needing to know where you’re going, when you’re driving there, is normal. It’s not a manifestation of anxiety. Even in my carefree pre-kids youth I wouldn’t have been so laid back that I didn’t even know where I was going on a weekend away!

Just ask on the group what the address is, so you can plan the route/timings and look at what supermarkets are local.

Regularsizedrudy · 07/09/2021 08:51

@TomAllenWife

Only one person knows where the accommodation is. All I know is we can't get in until late afternoon. I have no idea what supermarkets are en route I only have a rough idea that it's about a 2 hour drive
You can google all those things
biggerthehoops · 07/09/2021 08:53

I'd say, kindly, that it's you who's the one with unusual requirements for planning. You know you're driving, you know it's a two hour drive, most places are 3pm ish check in. There will 100% be several supermarkets on a two hour drive.

I'd like to have a link to the accommodation by weds/thurs in case I needed to pack towels or other things you'd assume to be provided that aren't but beyond that I don't know what else is necessary to know right now.

I think it's a shame you'd sack off a whole weekend because of this but if you genuinely suffer from anxiety why do t you spell that out to your (presumably good) friends and say you accept you're being a it extra but would like the details?

biggerthehoops · 07/09/2021 08:55

You don't really need to plan a route... just whack the address in your phone on the morning of the trip

Tulipomania · 07/09/2021 08:55

OP, here's the plan for you.

  1. Leave at 2 pm (after lunch).
  2. Buy the food before you go at your usual supermarket, coolbox for milk and other perishables.
  3. No need to stop en route if it's only about 2 hours away.
  4. Ask the person who booked the accommodation for the address.
  5. Let the rest of the group know this is what you are doing.
Joystir59 · 07/09/2021 08:56

Say what food you are taking. And workout what time you want to leave. Tell the rest these things. Shop at your usual supermarket at the start of your journey.

tinierclanger · 07/09/2021 08:56

Yep, agree with most other people here - I also like a clear idea of what’s going on so I would just take a bit more charge

  • get destination postcode
  • check route
  • message round everyone “hey, suggest we leave at 11, stop at MIttentown for lunch around 1, then head to the Tesco in the retail park in Gundery which is about 15 mins drive from accommodation. - everyone ok with that? “
Tulipomania · 07/09/2021 08:57

You only need to buy food for the first evening and breakfast, you will figure out the rest when you get there.
And don't forget to pack the wine!

FfrothiCoffi · 07/09/2021 08:57

So you’re annoyed at them for not making a plan, but you haven’t suggested one either? So actually you just want to be told what to do?
It’s Tuesday morning. Why would not knowing now what time you’re leaving, stop you doing something in 4 days time?
What time would you like to leave?

3scape · 07/09/2021 08:58

Or:
Suggest leaving at 12, getting lunch and supplies an route (together). Depending on the point of the trip I suppose

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 07/09/2021 08:59

"Hey Google, where am I supposed to be going this weekend? No I don't have an address or even know where it is, but MN has suggested YOU do..."

OnTheBrink1 · 07/09/2021 09:04

No?! Why would you do that unless you don’t want to go for other reasons. I would just finalise the plans on Thursday at some point

MimiDaisy11 · 07/09/2021 09:05

This would annoy me too. I like to be in charge or at least have equal say in accommodation etc so I know all the details. I like plans and not to rely on others so much.

I wouldn’t necessarily call it off though. Just try get the details of the place you’re going to.

Xiaoxiong · 07/09/2021 09:07

Is secret squirrel friend just refusing to tell you where you're going!?

I'd be messaging them today asking for the post code - once you have that, everything else will fall into place like food and leaving time.

I'd be worried the accommodation has fallen through, to be honest, if they can't tell you on the Tuesday where you'll be sleeping on the Friday!

EvilPea · 07/09/2021 09:09

No, although I’d be having the same panic and thoughts you are!