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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just sack off this weekend

232 replies

TomAllenWife · 07/09/2021 06:46

Don't want to post too much as outing, but if you were due to go on a weekend away on Friday and still no arrangements had been made regarding leaving time, travel, food or sleeping arrangements would you bother?

Despite asking repeatedly I'm just getting nowhere.

I do suffer with anxiety and need a plan to work to, I need to be organised.

Would you just stay home?

OP posts:
Original poster
TomAllenWife · 07/09/2021 11:21

@PoppenhuisStories I don't know where I'm going and it's not their house
RTFL

OP posts:
Original poster
TomAllenWife · 07/09/2021 11:22

RTFT

OP posts:
LittleMissMoggy · 07/09/2021 11:26

When faced with similar situations I think it's best to actually suggest a plan rather than ask a lot of questions. People are then sure to say if they don't like that and it stimulates conversation. Especially as you are driving, if it was me i would just say I am proposing to leave at xx time. Id offer to bring pizzas, breakfast and snacks in a cool bag, so no shopping en route. Ask others to chip in and then just play the rest of the weekend by ear. Others might take the lead on organising but if not then you have enough of a plan to get started. It's only Tuesday, I'm sure you will have fun!

Regularsizedrudy · 07/09/2021 11:27

If you don’t know where you are going, ASK

LBirch02 · 07/09/2021 11:29

YANBU OP. If I felt in the circumstances the right thing to do was prioritise myself I’d do exactly that

FfrothiCoffi · 07/09/2021 11:29

[quote TomAllenWife]@PoppenhuisStories I don't know where I'm going and it's not their house
RTFL[/quote]
Ask?

moynomore · 07/09/2021 11:31

@ThumbWitchesAbroad

"Hey Google, where am I supposed to be going this weekend? No I don't have an address or even know where it is, but MN has suggested YOU do..."
Why can't she, you know, find out where's she's going. This is so weird.
moynomore · 07/09/2021 11:32

[quote TomAllenWife]@PoppenhuisStories I don't know where I'm going and it's not their house
RTFL[/quote]
Why can't you ask them? So confused.

MiddleClassProblem · 07/09/2021 11:32

All together now: ASK!!!!!!

NerrSnerr · 07/09/2021 11:37

Without giving too much detail the owner of the accommodation has invited me & 2 others.

If they own the accommodation it's theirs, whether it's a house, caravan or tent. If they own it they know where it is so just ask them.

memberofthewedding · 07/09/2021 11:38

This would drive me nutty as I am a "planner". Whenever I had anything arranged with another person the plans were made weeks before in terms of where we stayed, what train we got, etc. If there is anything I hate its hanging in mid air.

LIZS · 07/09/2021 11:38

So the owner presumably knows the address and what shops/restaurants/pubs are around. If it is their holiday home maybe it has got basics like tea and coffee, so you just need to take milk? Ask where and what you should bring (towels, bedding etc).

CanofCant · 07/09/2021 11:42

What reply would you get if you ask in the WA chat 'Send me the link and postcode to the property?'

Original poster
TomAllenWife · 07/09/2021 12:01

I have asked! Lots of times
This morning I said hi can I have the postcode & check in times, no reply but seen by all group 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 07/09/2021 12:11

It’s interesting that at no point before you have mentioned asking for the postcode. Is suspect that you have only asked today after this thread.

Hopefully, they will get back to you today but if not, this evening I would ask again but say “I’d like to figure out the route in advance” with it.

It’s probably that the owner has done it so many times they are very relaxed about the whole things and they haven’t thought how others might feel being in the dark.

NerrSnerr · 07/09/2021 12:14

Can you call the person who owns the property if it'll put your mind at rest?

myotherusernameistaken · 07/09/2021 12:15

Without giving too much detail the owner of the accommodation has invited me & 2 others.

I don't know where I'm going and it's not their house RTFT

Well both of these things can't be true.
How can the owner of the property not know where it is?
Maybe you mean the person who has booked the property?

Two of us can stay til Monday, 2 til Sunday which is why the 4 of us are taking 2 cars

You and two others have been invited - that makes 3. Who is the 4th person?

If your questions to them are as confused as the information you are giving on here then it isn't surprising that you haven't had a reply.

FfrothiCoffi · 07/09/2021 12:17

@myotherusernameistaken

Without giving too much detail the owner of the accommodation has invited me & 2 others.

I don't know where I'm going and it's not their house RTFT

Well both of these things can't be true.
How can the owner of the property not know where it is?
Maybe you mean the person who has booked the property?

Two of us can stay til Monday, 2 til Sunday which is why the 4 of us are taking 2 cars

You and two others have been invited - that makes 3. Who is the 4th person?

If your questions to them are as confused as the information you are giving on here then it isn't surprising that you haven't had a reply.

I’m guessing that the house is owned by the 4th person but the 4th person doesn’t actually live there… a holiday cottage or something. Hence there will be 4 of them travelling to the property.
NerrSnerr · 07/09/2021 12:18

You and two others have been invited - that makes 3. Who is the 4th person?

I assume the owner of the holiday property is the 4th person.

Original poster
TomAllenWife · 07/09/2021 12:33

Yes the 4th person is the cottage owner
Obvs she knows where her cottage is but I haven't been given any details

One of the group did discuss briefly this week that they'd like to go out Friday evening and I replied saying was happy with that
But nothing since

OP posts:
PairOfPears · 07/09/2021 12:37

A weekend away is meant to be fun, if it’s causing stress - sack it off!

FfrothiCoffi · 07/09/2021 12:56

I think you’d look a bit ridiculous if you say ‘I’m not coming now as no one will tell me what time we need to leave or where we’re buying groceries’.
OP they’re your friends yes? Just send a message saying the lack of plan is making you a bit twitchy so can we sort it out?

Piggy42 · 07/09/2021 12:58

Why don’t you just phone the house owner? Seems a bit odd they aren’t replying.

notanotherjacketpotato · 07/09/2021 13:14

They're all busy, it's Tuesday and first week back to school. I don't think a non anxious person would have any of this on their radar until Thursday.

You know you're going Friday and can check in late afternoon, you know it's by the coast and is 2 hours away. You know at least one other person is up for a night out Friday and you know what day you're coming back.

Other than having the exact address (agree it's weird that hasn't just been pinged over but what could you realistically benefit from having it at this stage?) and knowing who's buying what food, what exactly is it you need?

MiaRoma · 07/09/2021 13:24

[quote TomAllenWife]@PoppenhuisStories I don't know where I'm going and it's not their house
RTFL[/quote]

Then ask ffs

Once you know, check out the route and see where you could stop off for shopping

Then tell the others - this is what I'm doing.

That should galvanise them

Stop being passive aggressive and whining about THEM when YOU'RE not making any decisions either

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