To think I should not have to kiss a man by the third date?

[littleloopylou]

Really, I want to know. Is this unreasonable?

Of course it's not unreasonable. You don't have to kiss him at all. Why do you ask?

YANBU. Not even by the tenth date if you don't want to.

You don't ever have to kiss someone if you don't want to.

That said, I wouldn't have a further date with someone I didn't at least want to kiss.

Who thinks you are unreasonable?

I wouldn't have got to the 3rd date if I didn't want to kiss someone, but we're all different.
You shouldn't feel the need to do anything on any date if you don't want to.

You don’t have to kiss anyone you don’t want to, but I don’t think I’d bother going on a third date with someone I didn’t want to kiss.

You don’t have to, obviously, but personally, vif I’d been on three dates with someone and they didn’t want to kiss me, I probably wouldn’t waste my time any further, life is too short. I wouldn’t have gone on a second or third date if I hadn’t wanted to kiss them at some point!

If you’re not into this person then just move on, you shouldn’t have to convince yourself that you fancy someone or not.

You can ALWAYS say no to kissing. Whether it be your 3rd date or 30 year wedding anniversary.

It is not consent if you feel pressured / obliged. Anyone telling you differently is either gaslighting you or trying to coerce you in some way.

Its absolutely not unreasonable, though I'd be wondering if they actually liked me by then.
Perhaps a conversation is In order?

The guy has told me he doesn't want to see me anymore because he felt awkward that i didn't want to kiss him.

Not unreasonable.never kiss anyone you don't want except aunt Muriel on her deathbed.

But for me- if I don't kiss on date 1 it's because I'm questioning chemistry. I'm interested and like the person but not sure it's relationship, or sex worthy. By date 2, either it's there and I want to test that with a kiss or let it go. Third date with no kissing is investment I'm not willing to make in the sea of trolls that dating has gifted us.

Why do you want more dates if you don't want to kiss him? Is there attraction? Frisson?

If not, why more dates?

I'm different. I used to meet men through work or study. I would probably be called sapiosexual or something now

I feel utterly worthless, like this guy only had a sexual interest in me.

@littleloopylou

The guy has told me he doesn't want to see me anymore because he felt awkward that i didn't want to kiss him.

Do you want to kiss him but are waiting so you know him better. Or do you not want to kiss him? If its the latter then it isn't looking good for a relationship so i see his point

YANBU @littleloopylou

Some people think you should shag on the third date.

I find the very idea repugnant.

You aren’t unreasonable not to want to kiss someone, but they aren’t unreasonable not to want to go on multiple dates with someone who doesn’t want to kiss them. Why are you continuing to date someone you don’t want to kiss?

It's unusual, for sure.

If someone only has a sexual interest in you, they don’t go on 3 dates without so much as a kiss.

It’s ok if you’re just not compatible or looking for different things. Let this one go and keep dating.

Do you not want to kiss him? Why have a third date if not?

like this guy only had a sexual interest in me people want relationships from dating, which requires a level of attraction. If you're not attached to him, then why do you want to kept seeing him? If its that you find him attractive in a few months when you get to know him better, fair enough but you'd need to explain that. If its OLD Pele don't want to make friends for life, they want something deeper

There's no 'should' about it.

If you don't want to kiss someone, that's your choice and no one should put pressure on you to go against how you feel.

However, if I had got to a 3rd date with someone and they didn't want to kiss me I'd probably make the assumption that they don't find me attractive enough and the chemistry just isn't there for them so would probably knock it on the head as well.

I think if you don’t want to kiss him by the third date then he’s not the man for you tbh

If someone hadn’t wanted to kiss me by the third date, not even a peck I would assume they’re not interested in me and not want to go further

I understand that you aren't attracted to the physical then- But surely even intelligence and intellectual connection is clear or suggesting by the third date?