To say being late all the time isn't a trait you are just rude

[username4s]

AIBU to thinks it's not funny. it's plain rude and shows a lack of respect for the other person?

I often see/hear about people who are always late and it's as if it's just a funny trait of theirs. I don't agree it's shows a lack of care for other peoples time. Are these same people always late for work/school runs/other important commitments or do they suddenly manage to organise themselves and be on time.

I used to have a friend who was always late. I eventually realised that arriving on time was never going to be as important to her as doing various bits of shit/having a lie in/chatting on the phone to her sister.

She's an ex-friend now.

@GreyhoundG1rl

So many posters claiming they absolutely cannot be blamed for their constant lateness, and dismissing the person being kept waiting with a blithe "it's not about them" 😂🤦‍♀️ How can people be this self absorbed?? Awful.

I know right. The excuses are laughable, but still infuriating.

And as I said these rude and arrogant and inconsiderate individuals seem to make it on time when it suits them - like when they have to catch a train, or a plane, or if they have an appointment.

They are so fucking rude and arrogant. They absolutely cannot see how awful their behaviour really is. It's shocking.

@MyPatronusIsACat no, I have missed various flights for holidays, trains for trips, struggle with work (but they are fine with it as I am consistently late leaving as well). If I have something fun booked for an hour I will end up missing a third of it. If I could manage my time, I wouldn't just choose to be late for friends

@GreyhoundG1rl

Excuse me, all your patients who have neurological issues are just boorish and badly mannered!! They dont need ritalin, they need decorum!" What on earth are you on about?! Nobody so far has actually claimed to have a neurological condition that makes them late. If they have it's a separate issue entirely

ADHD and other neurodiverse issues have been mentioned multiple times on this thread.

But I suppose it's more enjoyable for you to dismiss those out of hand and just assume everyone has bad manners.

@sofato5miles

Your posts are very strange, AntiSocialDistancer

@AntiSocialDistancer

1 in 7 people are neurodiverse, living in a world that the neurotypicals designed.

I genuinely can’t see the link here. It’s not as if NT people are out to get ND people by organising a time, place and date to meet.

Very few people have a decent reason for being late for virtually every event.

As pp's have said, most mange perfectly well to be on time when it really matters (work/flights etc).

It's incredibly rude and what's worse is when they try and brush it off as some sort of cute quirk of character.

I had a friend like this and for a while simply dealt with it by giving her a time 15/20 mins earlier than the meeting time.

She'd still often be late.

I just got fed up with it and cooled the relationship. It's not fun to be the person waiting around for up to an hour because someone else cba to be organised.

Shitty excuses about waiting for the tumble dryer to finish (why not put in on earlier?) or waiting for a delivery (leave in a safe place or don't arrange to go out at a time when you need to receive goods?) Etc etc

It absolutely sends the message that their time is more important than yours and thus they are more important than you.

I don't buy for one minute people saying they can't help but be late all the bloody time.

You simply can't be fucked to get your arse in gear and be organised.

If you had to be at a certain place and time so someone could gift you £1m I'm damn sure you'd manage to be on time.

I have an ex friend who was always late.

I actually stopped arranging things with a time to meet with her after 3 weekends in a row she text me 10 minutes after we'd left for the beach that her kids had nothing to wear for a beach so was just popping out to get them something and then would be there.

Her kids has clothes. If they didn't she knew when we were meeting. It's just her kids were spiky and because she was flakey they got their own way all the time because she'd dump anyone to give them what they wanted 2 hours into the tantrums!

Gosh, what a lazy slacker she must have been. There's literally no excuse for those behaviours. Her life must be so much easier being so scruffy, scattered, disorganised and suffering persistent problems with bills etc.

Well when others in the house were getting overdue bill reminders because she hadn’t paid the money she owed, and she was happy for others to use their hard-earned money for her showers and room heaters, I think it’s understandable she wasn’t considered a reliable person and desirable housemate. Unless you think it’s ok to behave like that?

@DrinkFeckArseBrick do you think you might be dyspraxic? I am and what you’re writing really resonates, especially the losing your breakfast as you were eating it. Time management is a classic thing dyspraxics struggle with, and it’s under-diagnosed in women. And to everyone self-righteously saying how late people get to work on time - I don’t. Chronically, chronically late, sometimes by an hour. I’m lucky to have a good job and a very (!) flexible workplace who allow me to start and end late if needed as I do good work and work hard when I’m in.

For example, my son struggles more than his siblings to get ready for school. Rather than tell him it’s ok to be late since he’s autistic, we teach him with his now and next box and his sticky routine on the wall what time everything needs to be done for, so he can be on time.

I know a family where they are ALL like this. We take part in the same social activity and they are the last to arrive every week. Usually strolling in some time after the event has started. Sometimes people make excuses and say they have further to come than anyone else. But surely it is the same distance every eek. This has been going on for years so you would think they would know by now how long it takes.

On a few occasions we have had a meet up near where they live and, yes, even when it is almost on their doorstep they are still the last to arrive

The person who said they can’t bear to leave the house messy. You would prefer a tidy house to friends!

Not sure if this was to me?

But I am that person. However, no I wouldn't like a tidy house & a hurt or upset friend.

One of the issues is that genuinely, leaving a messy house as a single parent is a recipe for disaster later. I went through a really tough few years when I'd stay up late every night to get on top of housework, but it never seemed to be enough. Of course I was really propagating the issue without knowing it.

Things are easier now, my MH has improved, kids older, and I've worked out better strategies.

It's not always the case that people who struggle with time keeping are selfish & unthinking. I know I have to work hard to be on time, and do so. But I wish it wasn't such an effort. When I stay with my mum, I can see how straight-forward it is for her.

@BillyBearSpam

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

A similar thread was done on this not so long ago.

People have genuine reasons for being late. Anxiety, ADHD, OCD, IBS, childcare, pet care as a few examples. It's not personal.

Everybody has a genuine reason for being late occasionally.

Nobody has a genuine reason for being late all the time.

[quote BuddySpice]@DrinkFeckArseBrick do you think you might be dyspraxic? I am and what you’re writing really resonates, especially the losing your breakfast as you were eating it. Time management is a classic thing dyspraxics struggle with, and it’s under-diagnosed in women. And to everyone self-righteously saying how late people get to work on time - I don’t. Chronically, chronically late, sometimes by an hour. I’m lucky to have a good job and a very (!) flexible workplace who allow me to start and end late if needed as I do good work and work hard when I’m in.[/quote]
I agree . I was thinking exactly the same thing as I read her posts.

I work with someone who is dyspraxia and it's a standing joke that anything important is t handed to her - we put it in a file for her that she reads every day.

it's so rude to be late.
I just told my DD off for doing it to her friends, we hit traffic and 10 mins were lost.
To prove my point her friend phone her twice annoyed about it.
If someone ever tells me their time is more important and they deserve to be late, I would be no longer be their friend, and tell them to take a look in the mirror and get over themselves.

Like using a watch?

Such a shitty comment.

I am not an apologist for being late. I hate it. I work hard, really hard, to avoid it. In most areas of my life I'm capable & organised. I'm (I think) a good & caring person. But 'using a watch' is not the type of trite suggestion that's helpful.

People have genuine reasons for being late. Anxiety, ADHD, OCD, IBS, childcare, pet care as a few examples. It's not personal.

Occasional lateness is forgivable. Persistent lateness is saying that the person you're meeting is not important enough for you to make the effort to be on time. It's rude.

I have a friend like this. Consistently 30 minutes - 1.5 hours late to everything. She’s always vaguely shocked and alarmed when I show up at her house or an activity at the appointed time too which drives me bonkers. “Oh, you’re here/there already?!” Yes, yes I am. I said I would be!

@AntiSocialDistancer

Did I say you don’t need medication? If you’re prescribed medication then of course you need and should take it.

What I’m saying is that it is better to learn techniques to help you to be on time than to expect others to suck it up when you are consistently late. It is rude to others.