A (not so) quick thought for
*@beastlyslumber*
*@ISaySteadyOn*
*@OneStepOut*
*@flibberyjibbery8*
*@Bouledeneige*
I think you have all also mentioned that you have ADD/ADHD/ASD conditions of some sort or another (and apologies if I've got the wrong end of the stick on any of you!).
I've written (at length 
) about my personal experiences of ADD and how life is as someone who apparently doesn't produce any dopamine at all.
I really appreciate you all sharing your experiences of having OVERCOME socially problematic symptoms of ADD (like being reliably on time). It is both heartening to hear there are those for whom it is possible to overcome, and of course a sage reminder that none of us are the same, even with the same condition - we all experience it slightly differently.
I assume that most of you fall in the camp of 'lower but not zero' dopamine production, as you've been able to train yourselves onto getting a meaningful reward kick from being on time, crossing off things from the to do list, breaking projects down into small tasks so you do get the dopamine release from crossing off each small achievement along the way, etc. I salute you all, and one benefit of my natural (if inappropriate?) optimism is that I haven't given up hope that with medication, now I can try yet again at these NT-leaning lists of 'life hacks'.
Maybe this time I WILL get a release of dopamine from getting items crossed off the list (not just an empty feeling, and maybe a vague sense of relief that it's one less thing to be f*d up!).
You have clearly all found positive ways to kick your levels of dopamine up for these tasks and achievements, and that sense of reward for always being on time and getting things done is there. That's awesome AND is so much more positive than the risks which are apparently higher for you than they are for me of getting dopamine surges through gambling, drug, shopping, food, screen etc. addiction...no small feat.
So I will try not to roll my eyes next time I see a list of allegedly ADD focussed 'tips' to improve my organisation, which is basically set alarms, make lists etc etc. We are all different and they clearly HAVE worked for you due to your chemistry with ADD, even though I'm left with blank/nothing with mine - even when I do them religiously. You HAVE helped me see the difference in why it works for some, but still not all of us. And with medication, sticking with it long enough to form the new habits I've never succeeded with before DOES have a chance of making a difference!
Armed with that knowledge though, I am also going to look at what habits and strategies I can put in place to do the stuff I find dull/society requires me to do/is essential to function effectively which gives me a kick of the OTHER chemicals that do still work in me - the oxytocin, endorphins and seratonin. I know exercising regularly has always been critical for me to function well, but I've always treated it as the reward for doing my task list. So on a bad day, I never get there...so starts the downward spiral. Anchoring smaller amounts of exercise throughout the day to smaller task completion might be a good proxy for 'dopamine reward'...I'm going to try it. Equally having the superfocus to keep going on a big project, but not stopping to get out for a walk and to eat properly, is clearly counterproductive, but a habit I've always struggled to break...concentrating on stopping to get that seratonin hit has just gone up in my estimation, because it can replace the dopamine of having done 4 mini-sections I've been working on, but feel no better about in-and-of themselves. And I've also registered that asking someone to do dull (for me anyway) tasks like expenses, cleaning, leaving the current thing and moving to the next thing on time and so on ARE definitely improved by the social, oxytocin-led nudge of doing them with someone else. I think that will help me see it as less of a sign of weakness, needing to ask for help from the uber-organised completer-finishers around me. So I will ask them to schedule joint expenses/performance review writing/desk tidying sessions more often now, and if I'm brave, even explain to them why I need their help to keep me accountable on this stuff. (Even if I may still need to put on my noise-cancelling headphones and blinker myself off from the tea rounds to stay 'in the zone' and not get distracted when I'm in hyperfocus, deeply productive and detailed mode ;)
I think this will be really important, as I'm painfully aware that I won't be able to medicate with amphetamines forever, due to the heart implications. So having them for now to help establish healthy dopamine habits is useful, but tying routines to rewards that kick the other 3 chemicals might make it more positively sustainable once I come off medication too.
And even @DottyHarmer has given me pause for thought...I have rammed my life with deadlines because the cortisol drive of being shamed provides the power to get me to do stuff (rather than the dopamine 'I've done a good job' that you are able to lean on). So leaving me alone all day with 2 things to do has historically been a great recipe for massive procrastination and distraction, as I never benefitted from that 'yeah, I've got it done' endpoint. But slowing down is no bad thing, and if I can find the ways to use those other 3 chemicals to do the work of your dopamine, I may not be 2 hours ready...but I may be able to habitualise the future reward of turning up on time, EVERY time, in a way that has always eluded me.
I'm not giving up, so thank you all for a productive discussion which has opened my eyes to how I can use my body chemistry to more positive effect, even after 4 decades. I think that will be a huge bonus, especially as seratonin levels start to drop with menopause. That's a whole different chemical challenge we will all have to face, but I think I have a new perspective about how to approach that too, as a direct result of this.
Thank you all.