To think he should come home when I’m sick

[Blahblsg]

My boyfriend and I have a 18 month old. He works away and usually comes home twice a week. Our baby has been sick and passed it on to me, i knew he had tickets to an event today with his best friends. It’s a bad cold but I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus, not Covid. Obviously the day is done now but he still went to this event.

I didn’t want to ask him to come home but rather see if he would. He’s text me from the event telling me to stay strong. I honestly feel like he doesn’t care at all, our baby has eaten nothing but snacks and yoghurts all day.

I don’t begrudge him going out and he went to one of these events last month.

Oh no, this sounds horrible for you. Why are you still with him? He sounds like a part time boyfriend, not a partner and responsible father of a child! Sounds like you’d be better off and happier without worrying about how he could - but won’t - step up all the time.

Thank you everyone for your nice messages, I did test positive the day after I made this thread. I was really ill for the past few days but I don’t feel like I’ve been run over this morning so hopefully getting better.

As for him he turned up after work with some flowers and shopping. I haven’t spoken to him about this as I just haven’t had the energy but I’ve had enough.

@Jemand

Did he know you couldn't look after the baby?

And there’s the problem, his assumption that OP was available to care for their child whilst he went off on a jolly, not even asking her if she could. He gets to do that because he’s absolved himself of any parenting responsibility.

Why did he even want a baby OP when he’s not prepared to be a parent?

@Blahblsg

Thank you everyone for your nice messages, I did test positive the day after I made this thread. I was really ill for the past few days but I don’t feel like I’ve been run over this morning so hopefully getting better.

As for him he turned up after work with some flowers and shopping. I haven’t spoken to him about this as I just haven’t had the energy but I’ve had enough.

Glad you’re feeling a little better OP. I knew it sounded more rough than just a cold. I’m really sorry he couldn’t be there for you when you needed him. Best to just focus on getting better and dealing with all his bullshit later on when you have the energy. Wishing you a speedy recovery xx

Get well soon and stick to your decision!

Sorry you have had so many people being judgemental on here. Colds are not always a walk in the park some are worse than others. Some really knock you out. Also this isn't really about your cold is it. It's about not feeling supported generally and the cold was the last straw. Also people criticising you for not feeding yourself or baby properly in here need the reign their necks in. Judgement helps no one. Yes single mothers are amazing people and have to suck it up but when you are in a relationship it's normal to want to be supported by your partner, that is why they are called a partner. You guys just need to work on your communication issues. You need to be more straight with him about how you are feeling x

I hope you guys can work on your communication issues and some of the commentors here can work on their judgemental responses.

• it’s Covid!

I think you’re unreasonable. The only time I’m too ill to look after myself (happened for three days just before Christmas) I can’t even watch tv let alone post on mumsnet about it. I’m sure you’re feeling lousy but I’m sorry - you’re not so ill you cannot look after your child!

It's only a cold OP you are being dramatic. Though I currently have covid with absolutely no symptoms so feel hard 😆

Sorry just see you have it too.

@MissyMooKins

It's only a cold OP you are being dramatic. Though I currently have covid with absolutely no symptoms so feel hard 😆

Many people mislabel a cold and have the flu (or in this case covid) ! It’s part of the culture of everyone trying to power through every time they get sick. Don’t jump to conclusions that someone is being dramatic when they might be downplaying it because of people like you saying they’re dramatic.

Go and get a PCR - this is how I felt when I had Covid.
Hope you feel better soon - if you need his help - ask him - if he squirms out of it, then maybe that's where you have the issue x

She has covid!

Given you now have covid you need to hit your priorities.

Send him a shopping list of stuff you need to keep you and baby fed and hydrated. Along with any meds etc. After that I would probably tell him to bugger off until your 10 days are up. THEN I would be telling him it is his turn to take the baby for the weekend - to his house - to give you time to sleep, catch up and fully recover. This is not an illness to get half well from. The space will then hopefully give you time to get yourself straight and decide what you want from him going forward. In my view however this is not a surviving relationship.

It's big red flags on a relationship when you start "testing" them...

This sounds bigger than one day and a cold. And I think that's the issue. If you're having no support with your baby that's really tough on you. Is there any way of changing his work situation and him working away so much?