Is this CF’ery or am I just a mean spirited old grump.

[Missymisenthrope]

I’ve lost perspective on this so am hoping you’ll all put me straight. I live on a street that leads down to a train station and is close to town so residents require parking permits. We can also pay extra (£12 per year) for a visitors permit. My next door neighbours moved in about seven years ago and since then they have borrowed my visitors permit EVERY single time they have visitors, which is most weekends. I live alone and they are a family with small children, they get a lot more visitors than me. I’ve made the odd comment about getting their own permit but they always laugh it off with things like ‘oh I know, we’re terrible with admin’ etc. I know for a fact it’s not a question of money for them, I think they just can’t be bothered when they can use mine all the time. Incidentally, they very often knock the door for me to ‘lend’ them milk/sugar/store cupboard ingredients. It’s really getting to the point where I feel like refusing to lend it to them anymore because I feel resentful about it. Is that silly?
My question is, AIBU to feel this is cheeky or am I just being a mean spirited cow? If I’m not using it what’s the problem etc.

Tell them you lost it, or let it lapse. Ffs, for the sake of 12 quid they can but their own!

buy their own!

The borrowing milk etc doesn’t really bother me too much to be honest even though no, they don’t return said items. I just thought I’d include it for context.

Do they return the pass straight away without being chased?
YANBU by the way. Tell them it ran out. And when they ask to borrow things tell them you don't have any.

YANBU. Next time they ask say you can't recall where you left it and close the door. Say that every time they call, regardless if they see you've had visitors in between. They'll either ask another neighbour or maybe, just maybe they will get off their arse and sort their own permit. Just remember - it's not your responsibility to have parking permits for their visitors.

Bugger that! These type of people are the exact reason we keep ourselves to ourselves!!

I'd start inviting lots of friends around for the next few weekends. Then the neighbours can't borrow it as it's in use.

For the sake of £12, I'd gift them their own and ignore them the rest of the time.

You're not a grump, they are CFs.

I agree with "losing" the pass. They can cough up for their own.

I, too, live in a permit parking (terraced) street, in fact, the only street in town needing a permit to park (for a number of reasons). We do have 5 visitor/40 min parking spaces, otherwise we can buy books of one use visitor permits (so not cheap).

It can be fun watching when it's school in/out times. A primary school is at the end of our street and is one of the reasons we ended up witth permit parking. I've seen parents fighting over the 40 min spaces, or just parking anywhere risking tickets. The traffic wardens have cottoned on to all of this traffic, and definitely patrol randomly during these times. I love seeing the pikachu faces when they find a ticket on the car. I wfh and I can see out while working.

Why lie? Just say “It’s time you got your own”. How hard is that?

Agree with suggestions of saying it's been taken away by your friend.

And pop over now to borrow some sugar and tea bags

That does sound annoying. How bad can they be at admin? I would tell them your parents/friends or whoever your most frequent visitor is is keeping the permit in their car. I’m sure you neighbours will get a lot better at admin when they need to be.

I’ve also managed to never knock on my neighbours door to ask for tea or milk and I don’t drive so can’t just easily pop out. If a neighbour asked a couple of times I wouldn’t mind but if they were using me as a corner shop on a regular basis it would annoy me. If I run out I just do without till I can get to the shop.

Say you forgot to renew yours then wait to see if they get their own - then ask to borrow theirs

What? They don’t return borrowed milk etc? Cheeky fuckers! Start saying no, I need to get some myself and oops, dunno where the parking permit is, sorry. Keep saying this til they get the hint.

Time for you to "lose" your visitors' pass, I feel.

Why would they want to embarrass themselves like this, for the sake of £12 a year?
Some people really do have a brass neck!
YANBU.

I think 7 years of living here it’s time you got your own.

Sorry, that’s what I’d say. I don’t think I made that clear. Definitely cf!

Amazed you still gave paper permits do you live in 2004?! Ours all online you log in visitors reg yourself and tip up your visitor permit online. Perfect and no pestering of neighbors needed!

We live out of town so a near neighbour and I used to borrow occasionally from each other but we would either return the same item or give something else like make biscuits or a cake for them. We used to swap excess fruit too. I gave her blackcurrants every year and she gave me a whole bag of apples. We enjoyed this barter for years. I also gave her excess eggs sometimes. They were really lovely neighbours but have moved to sheltered housing. I went to take blackcurrants but the new people were out and I noticed they had cut the lovely apple tree down.
I think they are probably a bit disorganised but it isn’t fair not to return or give something else in exchange. The parking permit isn’t fair either I would make an excuse next time.

It's 12£. They are CFs... I would have loaned it 4o them the first couple of times...

I'd be really ignored with them keep knocking my door asking for stuff... When it's clearly one way..

They can't be bothered getting a permit as they have one,.... Yours.

Depending on mood... Id be either very assertive or very vague... Viz... Either get your own or Oh I don't think you've returned it last time...

Just tell them that the permit has expired and because you rarely use it you've decided not to renew. Then they'll have to apply for one and you can ask to borrow theirs!

Thank you everyone, it’s good to know I’m not the only one who thinks it’s cheeky.
I can’t get them the forms or buy them one because it’s all done online with proof of address etc. It’s much easier to renew it though. The previous poster who asked if I live in 2004 - it would seem so, it’s ridiculous, it’s a little square of paper that goes on the dashboard and neighbours who have misplaced theirs despite paying for it have been given tickets because nothing seems to be logged electronically. It’s a ludicrous faff it really is, which I suppose is why I was happy to lend it to them for the first few years (YEARS! god it sounds ridiculous typed out!)

Such a shame the last person who used it accidentally drove off with it and 'what are they like!' they keep forgetting to bring it back.

Next time they ask for something, tell them you're out of it too and as they're going to the shops they can pick up a pint/bag of sugar for you too.

When they ask to use your visitor space tell them you have plans for a friend to visit later in the day, they'll find somewhere else for their visitor to park and you can later say your friend got the bus instead.

You can be apologetic but unwavering about it, they'll likely get the hint very soon that they won't get away with their CFery much longer.