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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this CF’ery or am I just a mean spirited old grump.

408 replies

Missymisenthrope · 05/09/2021 12:28

I’ve lost perspective on this so am hoping you’ll all put me straight. I live on a street that leads down to a train station and is close to town so residents require parking permits. We can also pay extra (£12 per year) for a visitors permit. My next door neighbours moved in about seven years ago and since then they have borrowed my visitors permit EVERY single time they have visitors, which is most weekends. I live alone and they are a family with small children, they get a lot more visitors than me. I’ve made the odd comment about getting their own permit but they always laugh it off with things like ‘oh I know, we’re terrible with admin’ etc. I know for a fact it’s not a question of money for them, I think they just can’t be bothered when they can use mine all the time. Incidentally, they very often knock the door for me to ‘lend’ them milk/sugar/store cupboard ingredients. It’s really getting to the point where I feel like refusing to lend it to them anymore because I feel resentful about it. Is that silly?
My question is, AIBU to feel this is cheeky or am I just being a mean spirited cow? If I’m not using it what’s the problem etc.

OP posts:
starfishmummy · 06/09/2021 19:01

@MsTSwift

I can’t believe your council still farts about with paper permits! We went online years ago you pay for your own permits and log visitor registrations on the website. Really outdated where you are.
We have a double system. Residents permits are "virtual" and our reg numbers logged. We are allowed up to 3 visitors permits and can opt for virtual with the number logged - but can be changed - or can have a paper one which is just stuck on the car dash. I have one virtual for a regular visitor, and a paper one for casual visitors and for workmen to save me faffing around changing the reg. Also I find that workmen tend to prefer the paper one so they actually know tjere is one!
MimiDaisy11 · 06/09/2021 19:03

I'm surprised people still go to neighbours to borrow milk etc. I thought that was a thing of the past when shops were closed a lot more.

cherish123 · 06/09/2021 19:05

They are being ridiculous. I cannot believe how cheeky some people are. I'd be so embarrassed to behave like this family.

Passenger42 · 06/09/2021 19:07

Say you have mislaid your pass and you don’t have enough sugar, tea, flour to spare, really sorry .. NOT

BunnytheFriendlyDragon · 06/09/2021 19:10

I've only just found this thread but pleased you told them no.

It's great to get on with your neighbours but some people take advantage

SeaToSki · 06/09/2021 19:11

You know you could start charging them a five pound ‘convenience fee’ to borrow the pass, or a cake tin, or a garden rake etc…. Maybe the neighbours could come in on the plan too

Redarrow2017 · 06/09/2021 19:14

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Mollymoostoo · 06/09/2021 19:15

If you feel bad about saying no, next time they borrow it tell them you don't plan on renewing it next time as you hardly use it so they need to make sure they pay for their own.

Mollymoostoo · 06/09/2021 19:17

We still have paper ones in the area work. I have to pay £100 a year to park there.

Mollymoostoo · 06/09/2021 19:22

So glad you said no, asking for Netflix is a bloody cheek! How dare they.
Well done.

NoNotYou · 06/09/2021 19:25

"Oh I'm glad you popped in, I got a form from the council when I picked mine up for renewal. You may as well get one, you never know when you might need it"

NoNotYou · 06/09/2021 19:25

Or, write that on the envelope when you post it through their door

BunnytheFriendlyDragon · 06/09/2021 19:28

Some people need to RTFT

WeBuiltThisCityOnSausageRolls · 06/09/2021 19:35

Am very proud of you OP for saying no to anymore borrowing or visitors permit that you pay for, is for you and is putting you out as not available for you to use when you have visitors. I can't imagine how much it has been limiting your visitors worrying about if or when you will get your visitor permit back

The rest of it is also very CF too.

I have to say I have a suspicion they have sold or rented out their visitors permit!

You don't need to give excuses, it's ok to say No, I'm no longer comfortable with this as I use my visitors permits for my visitors and I am entirely fed up now. You need to arrange your own.

I'd also be stopping the lending of food supplies as they never pay it back. What neighbour borrows sugar milk etc and doesn't deliver more back to replace it??? That's cheap and CF

Just say "no , I can't and don't want to. You're always taking from me. It's never replaced. I can't afford to subsidise you. Go to the shops yourself and arrange your own visitor permit from now on. "

WeBuiltThisCityOnSausageRolls · 06/09/2021 19:38

To be honest, I'd ignore any knocks from that NDN and not answer the door. (But then I can see who walks up my drive)

If you answer the door, say dinner is cooking/I'm in middle of something is it an emergency ? No? That's not an emergency really is it? You sort it out... I don't have spare in my cupboard..."

Biscuitybiscuit · 06/09/2021 19:44

They've borrowed enough already!!!!

crochetmonkey74 · 06/09/2021 19:50

Oh my best friend had neighbours like these, constantly pushing the boundaries, encroaching on space etc. Well done for saying no OP!

FreshFreesias · 06/09/2021 20:05

What awful greedy people! Well done OP.
I’d honestly not even open the door to them.

Mamamamasaurus · 06/09/2021 20:07

I'm new to this thread but by god, OP, I bloody love you!!!

ICouldHaveCheckedFirst · 06/09/2021 20:21

Ah, the power of MN.

Go you, OP!

MeridianB · 06/09/2021 20:27

Just RTFT and am so, SO proud of you @Missymisenthrope

They are definitely CFs. Endless regular demands? Netflix password? You’ve done the right thing by putting an end to it.

angelfacecuti75 · 06/09/2021 20:32

"Not being funny , Isn't it about time you got your own I lent you it last time because I thought you were sorting out moving in but no sorry you can't borrow it".

Newnameday · 06/09/2021 20:40

@GeorgeMichaelBluth

"The pass" not "Your pass" he thinks he owns it!
This was my exact thought. As if it's a casual shared item 😡
Kinko · 06/09/2021 20:51

Say you lost it ;-)

Xyyxxx · 06/09/2021 20:53

They are taking advantage of your kind nature. Time to put a stop to it.

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