To think that men have turned into neanderthals?

[Sparklfairy]

I've lived in my city for three years, never had any trouble. In the last few weeks I've had a weird guy follow me and give me his number, witnessed a sexual assault, kicked some drunk guy out of the pub myself and had another bloke follow me around saying he wanted to have sex with me.

WTF is going on? I genuinely think that men's 'standards' have dropped and they're now regressing to animals

I am NOT anti-man; my father was my single parent, my husband is a wonderful man in every respect and I think that men get a bad deal in many instances regarding access, maintenance etc. after relationship breakdown.

HOWEVER : re. the OP's post, I agree 100% that UK society is rapidly changing in the ways that SOME/MANY men behave towards women.

I worked with a guy whose girlfriend adored him; he lived rent-free in her London flat, she paid for his car, waited on him hand and foot. He was serially unfaithful to her (with her full knowledge, he made little effort to conceal it), including shacking up with a colleague over Christmas in another town while his GF was heavily pregnant (she sobbed on the phone and begged him to come home). On the day she gave birth to teir son by planned ELCS, he went home with another female colleague for the night and was not with her.

His evenings were spent in London driving round with a mate, hanging out of car windows and hassling and shouting at women on the street.

The GF put up with all of it because she wanted to say that she had a 'D'P and a baby.

So in terms of men's behaviour, after knowing the full details of this guy's activities, nothing surprises me.

I hate to say this but the minority of men who are doing this are giving all men a bad reputation.

But is a lot of women's behaviour changing on accordance.

Henry V
Sorry, @BrozTito for late reply. I went off into the weeds of Straight TikTok, trying to remember some choice specimens. Here's a compilation of what's typical, before I bailed.

Such peacocks they are.

Way back, the first Fboy POV tik I saw (role-playing type video) was depressing. They've taken the dom from '50 shades' and run with it a primer on how to relate to girls.
Teen sexuality on TikTok is mostly dismal stuff. Choking normalised into fourth base, as if it's always been there. Tween and teen girls buy it, knowing no better, and either post pussy butterfly emojis in the comments, or make mildly critical tiks with cool-girl caveats because...they're cool, bro'...

@MarieIVanArkleStinks

NAMALT. 'Women do it too'.

Why is this rot churned out ad nauseam every single time there's a thread of this nature.

No one to my knowledge has ever argued that every single male on the face of this planet foists his unwanted attentions on women. No one. Similarly, I've seen no claims to the effect of sugar and spice and all things nice as far as women are concerned: that they are incapable of being yobs, or sexual predators, or even child abuse. Conversely, the misconception that they are incapable of such actions is potentially dangerous.

What's undeniable (just look at the statistics) is that it's disproportionately men who are the perpetrators of this behaviour. Check out the male-to-female ratio on sex offending. The sex-class who have to look over our shoulders at night. The #MeToo situation in which so many of the victims are women, and who, even when they talk about it, are often told to shut up or disbelieved.

Not all men are like that. But overwhelmingly, most of the human populace who are like that, are men.

It's as plain as the nose on your face; for which reason it's also grindingly, repetitively tedious constantly to have to point this out.

Yep.

99% of sexual offending is by males, and 88% of those victimised are women.

I am so sick and tired of the lies about this.

Charts for those jailed by sex, and by offending type.

"Women do it too!" my arse. Hardly any, compared to men.

Facts aren't sexist.

For those who can't be bothered to click: government data demonstrates that 95% of all prisoners are male, and of those jailed for sex offences, fewer than 1% are women. It's never risen above 1% since records began. 99% of those jailed for sex offending - invariably serious, to reach a custody threshold - are men.

And for those about to bleat that women just get suspected, caught and charged less: the stats are the same for those caught by IP address for searching out and viewing images and footage of children being raped. If you think an IP address is assigned by sex, then I have a bridge to sell you at a knock-down price.

I sympathise op

I dont know what's in the water these days , but having briefly enjoyed being being wrong side if 40 and there for invisible , in the past 2 months I've been asked out fir a drink by a married man , had a customer hand me a phone number and cone back the next day ti ask why I didn't call him. Been called a bitch by 2 customers customers IDing them.

My 14 yr old dd gets yelled at from car windows and in the street too.

Its like they are making up fir lost time in lock down.

I just want to tell them all to fuck off

Wow, didn't take long for the NAMALT crew to surface

I read about creepy letchy men all the time on here, but personally have never had a problem. I don't know if its my resting bitch face or what but to have FOUR incidents in a few weeks, and two in one night is, frankly, disgusting.

I don't think anyone can excuse that.

I think there are plenty of men like that, but I object to a race element being introduced.

Totally agree op. But I think it’s been a downward trend for longer than the pandemic. More like the past decade or so.

My personal thoughts are that it’s several different factors coming into play. Not just one single event.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4341174-would-this-bother-you

This thread is an indicator of how they're turning out this way.

His mum doesn't think he's done anything wrong 🤦🏼‍♀️

I am aghast when I see the behaviour of some men. Like the scenes after Football matches, where they jump on cars and climb lamp posts, all jeering like animals. I've noticed also, on our local town Facebook page, that some people make really nasty sarcastic comments, and it is always middle aged men.

Thankfully, I don't know any men who are like this. I have a lovely husband, a lovely son, decent soon to be son-in-law, and male friends who would also find this behaviour abhorrent.

I have a theory that sometimes in this modern age, men's testosterone has nowhere to be channelled. And that it comes out as aggression, especially in groups. Although that wouldn't explain why lots of men aren't lie this.

A poster on here once remarked about how she wished we could throw all of these men in to a volcano, and it still makes me chuckle.

Thankfully, I don't know any men who are like this. I have a lovely husband, a lovely son, decent soon to be son-in-law, and male friends who would also find this behaviour abhorrent

Not my Nigels

Porn. Sadly.v

99% of sexual offending is by males, and 88% of those victimised are women.

Quite wonder ehat would happen to these figures if women started going to gyms to strength match most average males.
Would the rates drop? Would the offenders turned against weaker males witha lack of potential female victims? Would more wome assault anyone since it's more about power than sex and with strenght comes power? Would dv numbers change?

Thankfully, I don't know any men who are like this. I have a lovely husband, a lovely son, decent soon to be son-in-law, and male friends who would also find this behaviour abhorrent

Everyone's so sure aren't they.

I used to work in a pub. I wonder how many of the guys who commented on my arse ir my boobs, or called me a fucking slag when I told them it was drinking up time. Were these nice caring husbands evi find this abhorrent. I'd make several quid a night in tips. I'm.fat and ugly so they weren't looking at my face when telling me to buy one fir myself...it definitely depended on what top I was wearing though..

You'd be surprised how differently people behave when their wives ajd girlfriends aren't around ...

Everyone's so sure aren't they.

Exactly!

Women reading this, these men we're talking about are YOUR fathers/brothers/sons/friends.

Sort it out.

@Journeyofthedragons

Women reading this, these men we're talking about are YOUR fathers/brothers/sons/friends.

Sort it out.

It's down to men to short their OWN shit out.

The behaviour of men is the responsibility of men, not women.

@Journeyofthedragons

Women reading this, these men we're talking about are YOUR fathers/brothers/sons/friends.

Sort it out.

Really? Is this for women to sort out?!

@Journeyofthedragons

Women reading this, these men we're talking about are YOUR fathers/brothers/sons/friends.

Sort it out.

No. How fucking dare you blame women for men's behaviour?

There’s been an increase in both stalking and domestic violence during the pandemic.

Thankfully, I don't know any men who are like this. I have a lovely husband, a lovely son, decent soon to be son-in-law, and male friends who would also find this behaviour abhorrent

Everyone's so sure aren't they

I can see why you would say that. Fwiw, my first husband was a total letch, I just didn't know when I married him. He tried to shag all my mates and I'm pretty sure slept around. The difference between him and my now husband is striking. He hardly ever goes out, just spends any free time with me. I've never seen him look at another woman in that way or anything. My son is a quiet academic, I'd be shocked to the core if he behaved badly. I know you can never say never, but we are allowed to know good men, you know!

I used to work in a pub. I wonder how many of the guys who commented on my arse ir my boobs, or called me a fucking slag when I told them it was drinking up time. Were these nice caring husbands

I used to work in a social club during my uni days and had many a Nice Guy Nigel make "jokey" sexual remarks to me, "accidentally" brush against my tits or arse while I was glass collecting, and ask me "friendly" instructive questions about my personal life. If I was filling the fridges or changing the syrup for the mixer gun, both jobs that required kneeling on the floor behind the bar, there would be a chorus of "while you're down there...". If I had to pour a Guinness or a real ale, both of which were traditional hand pulls instead of automated, it would be "I've got something you can pull next...". All from men who would consider themselves Nice Guys, men with partners and families.

It's not just the men who outright hate women, it's a culture of contempt and its pyramid shaped. At the top levels you have the rapists, the incels, the murderers, the domestic abusers, etc but on the lower levels - underpinning it all - you have the Nice Guys whose entitlement, micro-aggressions, and contempt upholds the whole bloody thing. Like the Nice Guy who made a formal complaint to the children's centre because he was asked to leave the 9am breastfeeding group as it was a women-only group, he was invited back to the 11am one which welcomed partners, instead he refused to leave and complained that he had a right to be there. Then there's the Nice Guy who thought it appropriate to wander around a postnatal ward in a knee length nightshirt and went to the papers about being asked by the staff to please put some pants on. The Nice Guy who pressures his girlfriend into an abortion she doesn't want because he doesn't want a baby. The Nice Guy who calls his female boss a bitch, frigid, or a ball breaker because she had words with him about his performance. The Nice Guy who gets upset at being "friend zoned" because why would anyone be nice to a women if not for sex? The Nice guy who tells his daughters "you're not going out wearing that" or jokes about locking his toddler girls up once they're old enough to date - it's because he knows what men are like. The Nice Guy who thinks "no" is a starting point for negotiations rather than the final answer - it's not harassment, it's "the chase".

Not every man is a rapist or a murderer but it's telling that large chunks of our society spend more time defending the actions of men with their NAMALTs than they do examining and addressing the cultural issues which allow such behaviour to keep happening.

I'd be shocked to the core if he behaved badly. I know you can never say never, but weareallowed to know good men, you know

The fact you call them good men is part of the problem really. Someone who acts sensibly , doesn't letch at other women, and cares about his wife/mother is not a " good man" . Its a basic level of human decency to do those things. It's not worthy of being called good it should just be normal.

The truth is people who act like normal human beings get to he referred to or call themselves the " good ones" because the bad ones make them look so good.