To hit the roof over this?

[Incredibad]

My DP of three years is always saying he ‘can’t really afford’ dinner or a weekend away with me. Ive found a receipt for last week for the night when he went out for ‘a couple of pints’ with an old friend (what with being so skint and all) and it was in fact a swanky hotel restaurant clocking in at over £100.

Now what. Can’t confront cause even though he left the thing on the counter with his keys and change he’ll accuse me of going through his receipts, I know it.

I’d be suspicious too and bin him.

Time to face facts and thank god that you dont live with him.

Regardless of who he was with he's got a tight arsed streak which is really unattractive and wont get any better.

He's stingy and keeping secrets. Even if you had been looking through his papers, that doesn't change the fact that he's not being completely honest with you.

It doesn't seem like a good relationship, tbh. I'd ask myself if he's really worth more of your time and effort, if he's lying and then acting hurt, shocked, or angry that you don't trust a proven liar.

Ok. So the £100 with a "mate" when he couldn't take me anywhere in 3 years would piss me off.

The lying about where he was (where did he tell you he was? Sorry if I've missed this) would tell me either a) he knows he's treating you badly because he tried to hide the fact he doesn't treat others like this, or b) he was on a date.

How involved are you in his life?

Met friends and family or only see each other the odd weekend?

Drink with mates = Whetherspoons, local pub etc.

Swanky hotel = date with someone he's trying to impress.

I voted YABU..

because he has CONDITIONED you to question nothing.. you have seen this receipt with our own eyes and yet you are afraid to question this because of his reaction. You can't even see you have been trained to accept everything he says..

This is NOT a healthy relationship..

HE sounds like a cheap tight abusve C*NT

Good Luck kicking him out of your life.

You have nothing to lose.
You wave the reciept and tell him if he is too broke to even go out to dinner with you why did he splash £100 at this hotel.
If he says your snooping AGREE, own it, and your a bloody liar, would be my response,

And when you call him out, kindly point out that if he wants to call you tidying up bits of paper left on the side in your own home "snooping", or "ballet dancing", the issue in hand is very clearly his action, and that's what needs to be discussed.

"Ok, not a a problem, we'll agree to call it snooping then, I'll agree as to not deflect from the issue I'm discussing, now explain what it is"

He wants you to find the receipt

I agree. Left it in plain sight so you see it and ask, this giving him an excuse to throw a wobbly and blame you for 'snooping'.
He's already planned his exit.

@Incredibad

My DP of three years is always saying he ‘can’t really afford’ dinner or a weekend away with me. Ive found a receipt for last week for the night when he went out for ‘a couple of pints’ with an old friend (what with being so skint and all) and it was in fact a swanky hotel restaurant clocking in at over £100.

Now what. Can’t confront cause even though he left the thing on the counter with his keys and change he’ll accuse me of going through his receipts, I know it.

I'd be wondering what sort of "friend" warrants a posh £100 hotel meal?

Did you live together?;was he very late home that night?

@SpacePotato

He wants you to find the receipt

I agree. Left it in plain sight so you see it and ask, this giving him an excuse to throw a wobbly and blame you for 'snooping'.
He's already planned his exit.

This! Not daft is he. Fucker.

Newduchess- we don’t live together but the receipt time stamp shows didn’t leave restaurant til almost 11 (!)

The Hotel and the Cost is irrelevant...

It's your Fear of asking him anything, that is the worrying factor here...

Do you not see what he has done to you OP

@QueenBee52

The Hotel and the Cost is irrelevant...

It's your Fear of asking him anything, that is the worrying factor here...

Do you not see what he has done to you OP

Yup.

OP - what are you getting out of your relationship with this angry liar?

@QueenBee52

I voted YABU..

because he has CONDITIONED you to question nothing.. you have seen this receipt with our own eyes and yet you are afraid to question this because of his reaction. You can't even see you have been trained to accept everything he says..

This is NOT a healthy relationship..

HE sounds like a cheap tight abusve C*NT

Good Luck kicking him out of your life.

Yep. The fact you feel bad for looking at the time on your partners phone and glancing at a receipt - he's done be an absolute number on you.

What else are you walking on eggshells over? Because that's not all.

In honesty I don't see what confronting him will achieve.

Ropey messages and expensive dinners with a "mate"....

Stop allowing this twat to make a fool of you and bin him off.

Time to get rid.
Tell him it is over,
Then text him by the way I won £100,000 in the lottery , bye

How much stuff does he have at yours?

If I were you, I'd bundle all his stuff up into a black bag and put it outside. Then text him and tell him that he either collects it, or it goes in the wheelie bin.

Don't tell him why it's over. If he asks, just tell him that he's shit in bed.

Don't tell him why it's over. If he asks, just tell him that he's shit in bed.

This is poetic.

Groggylegs - he does say I’m controlling and paranoid

Maybe I am though

Neither option is acceptable imo.

Either happy to splash out on a mate date, but not with you.

Or, cheating. Which seems the most likely combined with the fancy restaurant and inappropriate texts that you saw.

Get rid.

Oh come on @Incredibad all cheaters who are confronted say that-it's part of "The Script" go to chumplady.com

Do any of the possible scenarios work out well for you OP?

At worst, cheating snd a shitty temper.

At best, lying he cant afford it when what he means is he would rather not with you.

Cut and fucking run bwfore you end up pregnant by him and banging an even sadder drum.

@Incredibad

Maybe I am though

Does that even matter? You aren't happy. He doesn't make you feel wanted, valued, loved or secure.

He's not worthy of you.