To hit the roof over this?

[Incredibad]

My DP of three years is always saying he ‘can’t really afford’ dinner or a weekend away with me. Ive found a receipt for last week for the night when he went out for ‘a couple of pints’ with an old friend (what with being so skint and all) and it was in fact a swanky hotel restaurant clocking in at over £100.

Now what. Can’t confront cause even though he left the thing on the counter with his keys and change he’ll accuse me of going through his receipts, I know it.

@Incredibad

I suppose as I don’t want to get married or have a family there is no ‘going somewhere’ for my relationships. I don’t have those markers of progression other people have, so where’s it supposed to go?

Maybe you don't.

Or maybe you don't with him?

Have you ever watched the film 'maybe he's just not that in to you'?

Can I just say, it's an eye opener and every woman should watch it because it really makes you realise that if you love someone and they love you back, it's just right, there's no bullshit, no excuses like I can't afford to do this or that. Love isn't about money but it seems like that's an excuse not to spend quality time together.

Honestly, you don't need this bullshit and you don't have to "coast along" just because you don't want to get married or have kids, no everyone has to but everyone should be treated with love and respect in a relationship.

Now put your big girl pants on a dump this waste of space, you deserve better.

No one should ever, EVER be able to make you into someone you don't like. When they're able to do that it means that they have an unacceptable level of emotional control over you. And that's enough reason to end the relationship in and of itself, regardless of whether he's actually cheating or not.

Yes, do this sterling fellow a huge favour and release him from the "paranoid, controlling" relationship to the freedom he no doubt craves. There are a lot of nice men out there (I gave birth to some of them myself), why waste your time with Mr Mean?

p.s. A friend of mine used to say "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you." Or sometimes, "Just because you're not paranoid..." I remembered that years later when I was trying to persuade myself not to be overly suspicious but then found out that, in fact, they really were out to get me. (XH also used to call me paranoid quite often. I don't think he ever cheated, but he sure did lie a lot, and the more red-handed he was caught the more likely he was to use the P-word.)

Annie - that’s what I don’t get, if I’m as intolerable as I’m painted sometimes, why is he still with me then??

Like ‘ok honey, there’s your freedom from ms paranoid, enjoy’ and he doesn’t

@Incredibad

Annie - that’s what I don’t get, if I’m as intolerable as I’m painted sometimes, why is he still with me then??

you boost his ego... provide Sex... comfort...

@Incredibad

Annie - that’s what I don’t get, if I’m as intolerable as I’m painted sometimes, why is he still with me then??

Sex and food.

Never underestimate how lazy men can be.