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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To choose glastonbury over my friends wedding

789 replies

Campingcarryon · 04/09/2021 13:07

My good friend has just told me she is getting married the same weekend as glastonbury festival next year, for which I have tickets and have obviously by then waited 3 years to go, should it go ahead. I really want to go to the festival as getting tickets is incredibly hard and it’s the first time I have had tickets in 10 years. I love it there &
Post pandemic, I really want to just go and have some fun. I have a camper van so do it in a bit more luxury too.

I feel really bad but honestly I would rather go to the festival than the wedding but am I being really unreasonable? I can’t do both either as wedding is in a different part of the country. I don’t want to upset her either obviously 😬

OP posts:
GingerFoxInAT0phat · 06/09/2021 12:44

Easy!

Go the wedding and sell me your tickets Grin

towers14 · 06/09/2021 12:50

We've played the laptop/phone/iPad game of trying to get tickets between 10 of us with no luck. Definitely go to Glasto, you'd all ready bought the tickets (different if you hadn't) and you won't enjoy the wedding knowing what you're missing.

Cam2020 · 06/09/2021 12:52

This thread reminds me of why I hate most weddings! It was an unfortunate clash! Had the bride desperately wanted OP there, she would have checked the date first. OP had a prior booking, which is unfortunate. Do not understand the disapproval of it being Glasto. As PPs have said, any other holiday clash would have been chalked down to bad timing.

SleepingStandingUp · 06/09/2021 12:53

@whateveryouwantmetosay

Are we post pandemic? Did I miss something?
No but weddings and festivals are both happening
Sylvvie · 06/09/2021 12:55

OP, with all due respect you were planning to go regardless of what anyone advised you to do on this thread. I can see that by the replies of you arguing with anyone who opposes your opinion, so why the hell bother to ask if YABU if you don't think you are anyway?

For what it's worth I think you are doing the right thing going to Glasto and I hope you enjoy it Grin

Cornettoninja · 06/09/2021 12:57

Whether or not the friend forgives the op is really not the point here though is it?

It's about how her friend is going to feel & whether the op even cares

Sorry, I picked up on this from someone else’s quote but I’m not sure whether this is entirely relevant.

The OP clearly cares but she’s still entitled to not want to change her plans even if that disappoints someone else. Someone/everyone in this situation is going to be disappointed to a degree and but OP isn’t obliged to cancel plans on other people, potentially lose money and deal with her own feelings of disappointment to save her friends disappointment. No one can make every choice in life to prevent someone else’s feelings at a cost to themselves.

If the OP had already accepted the wedding invitation and then got tickets it would be different but she had committed to Glastonbury long before the date of the wedding was given to her.

Barmychick · 06/09/2021 13:01

yanbu

BritishSummertime · 06/09/2021 13:37

I'm still waiting for the 'wedding' posters to confirm what OP was meant to do about the 5 people she's agreed to go with (I think in her camper?) Is it ok to ditch them for the wedding leaving them without anywhere to sleep?!

BritishSummertime · 06/09/2021 13:40

whereas a holiday abroad isn't as quite easy to rearrange or transfer to someone else? Factoring in flights, hotels, visas and things like hire cars, possible activities that might've been pre-booked.

Surely these days most holidays are booked with deposits only/covid cover etc and can be changed pretty easily. So actually changing an all.inclusive package holiday somewhere would be easier than pulling out of Glasto & 'just going next time '

AryaStarkWolf · 06/09/2021 13:43

I would choose a close friends wedding over a music festival definitely but I see you've already told her you're not coming anyway

WellLarDeDar · 06/09/2021 13:51

If it was me and it was a really close friends wedding I would definitely pick the wedding first and just go to the festival on the other 4 days. I do love weddings more than festivals though. But you're a grown up and the choice is yours really. If the festival is more important to you then go to it. You're not in the wrong as you booked the tickets before you knew about the wedding date. I'm sure your friend will be fine with it, it's just one of those things.

BritishSummertime · 06/09/2021 13:57

@AryaStarkWolf

I would choose a close friends wedding over a music festival definitely but I see you've already told her you're not coming anyway
What about the other 5 people you're meant to be going to glasto with? And your camper van they are meant to be sleeping in? Do you ditch them for a better offer? Would y
BritishSummertime · 06/09/2021 13:58

@AryaStarkWolf would you also cancel a weekend in Paris/center parcs/AN other holiday too?
Or is it because it's 'just' a festival?

minatrina · 06/09/2021 14:05

Personally, I can't imagine wanting to go to a festival over the wedding of someone I'd describe as a close friend. So if I were you, I'd be missing one day of Glastonbury. But it's completely up to you, and I don't think you're necessarily in the wrong for choosing Glasto over the wedding.

BUT at the same time, I can't imagine myself actually caring or being offended by this if I was in the bride's position. Though I can see an argument for why she might feel like you didn't care that much about the friendship. But with that said, I think she'd be a dick to ever mention it, it's just one of those things she may quietly hold onto for a while.

So lots of "buts" in this one lol. I don't think it's clear-cut, and I don't think you should lose sleep over it, OP.

Side note (sorry if this has been talked about already), is it really that hard to get Glastonbury tickets?! Shock I have an Aunty who goes every time without fail... I will have to ask her what her secret is!!

Morgan12 · 06/09/2021 14:12

You should have told her when she told you the new date though.

SleepingStandingUp · 06/09/2021 14:14

So if I were you, I'd be missing one day of Glastonbury its not one day. Wedding is 200m away not to mention the drama of trying to get into and out of a festival, finding somewhere to get clean and dressed etc

MissMarplesstylecoach · 06/09/2021 14:17

If she is a close friend she will want you to do what makes you happiest. I have a very small family and one of our closest friends couldn't attend our DCs wedding as they had a city break booked . For a few seconds I was hurt when I realised they were not planning to cancel but then realised weddings are only that special to the bride and groom and immediate family and I wouldn't want someone to be at a wedding when they would rather be somewhere else. Everyone had a great time at both events .

minatrina · 06/09/2021 14:19

@SleepingStandingUp

So if I were you, I'd be missing one day of Glastonbury its not one day. Wedding is 200m away not to mention the drama of trying to get into and out of a festival, finding somewhere to get clean and dressed etc
Ok I'd miss two days then. I'm not saying OP should, I'm just expressing what I would do if it were me. Maybe I have a different definition of close friend than OP, and maybe I like weddings a lot more than OP does. Plenty of reasons!
TheRabbitStoleMyHat · 06/09/2021 14:29

Ok I'd miss two days then

So the weekend of the festival? Which is pretty much the main part of it when all the headline acts play?

minatrina · 06/09/2021 14:29

@TheRabbitStoleMyHat

Ok I'd miss two days then

So the weekend of the festival? Which is pretty much the main part of it when all the headline acts play?

Yes! I think a wedding is more important. But OP and lots of others don't and that's absolutely fine.
billy1966 · 06/09/2021 14:37

@BritishSummertime

I'm still waiting for the 'wedding' posters to confirm what OP was meant to do about the 5 people she's agreed to go with (I think in her camper?) Is it ok to ditch them for the wedding leaving them without anywhere to sleep?!
Excellent point.

If a thread was opened that a poster had plans to go with her friend to GF with a group and the friend was providing accommodation with her campervan, tickets bought, but she was now bailing because a friend of hers has decided to get married on that date?

I think the friends would have every reason to be pissed off to have been dumped for a wedding AFTER tickets had been purchased.

Weddings do not trump other plans, hard enough as some people find that to believe.

brokenbiscuitsx · 06/09/2021 15:38

@MaudBaileysGreenTurban

I agree OP that the snobbery on this thread is absolutely mindblowing. All-inclusive in the Maldives, quite understandable. But 5 days in a tent, how childish and weird!

Plus, I note, a nice little dose of 'oh if you find it hard to get tickets you can't be a real Glastonbury fan, you'd have contacts'. Fuck me. Fancy letting the proles apply, eh? Nice and inclusive...

Exactly! Most of the ones who get tickets through ‘contacts’ aren’t real fans just got a freebie!

It’s the same with football, we call them the prawn sandwich brigade. Just in the box for a free day out, not even interested in the game.

RazorSharp · 06/09/2021 15:43

@Morgan12

You should have told her when she told you the new date though.
She did!
FirewomanSam · 06/09/2021 15:52

Side note (sorry if this has been talked about already), is it really that hard to get Glastonbury tickets?! shock I have an Aunty who goes every time without fail... I will have to ask her what her secret is!!

My friends who go to Glastonbury regularly seem to either have ‘contacts’ as someone (rather snobbily!) said before, such as knowing a band playing on one of the small stages. Or they volunteer as a steward for a few shifts and get in that way.

Play8063 · 06/09/2021 15:54

wtaf, go to your "close" mates wedding! ffs