To choose glastonbury over my friends wedding

[Campingcarryon]

My good friend has just told me she is getting married the same weekend as glastonbury festival next year, for which I have tickets and have obviously by then waited 3 years to go, should it go ahead. I really want to go to the festival as getting tickets is incredibly hard and it’s the first time I have had tickets in 10 years. I love it there &
Post pandemic, I really want to just go and have some fun. I have a camper van so do it in a bit more luxury too.

I feel really bad but honestly I would rather go to the festival than the wedding but am I being really unreasonable? I can’t do both either as wedding is in a different part of the country. I don’t want to upset her either obviously 😬

Depends if you want to stay friends! Grudge will be held forever!

@whateveryouwantmetosay

Are we post pandemic? Did I miss something?

Whatever has a point though, don't they? Irrespective of weddings and festivals, we are in a post lockdown period but definitely not post pandemic, as last night's stats on the news clearly showed.

@BBOA

Depends if you want to stay friends! Grudge will be held forever!

That would be pretty pathetic of the friend of really. Holding a grudge because someone's already got plans on the same date as the wedding. That's a really childish response.

@MyOtherProfile we're at the point where people can make judgements about what risks they're willing to take. This is 2022 and two years after the pandemic began, is it reasonable to expect people to want to plan and enjoy life again?

A year is actually quite short notice in wedding world isn't it-people will have holidays booked etc. So surely you are not the only one.

If my friend generally had a lifelong ambition to go to Glastonbury i would want to support it. I'd probably in reality go through phases of being a little hurt and spikey but i think we would get through it.

Glastonbury will be sth you will tell your kids about, remember on your deathbed etc. Weddings are ten a penny and you may not even be friends in a couple years.

It is hard for a bride and groom but it might be the most important day of their life but it wont be the most important day of everyone elses.

With others-it is an invitation. Declining isn't rude.

@Lunar2020

Absolutely DO GO TO GLASTONBURY!!!!!

You actually have more chance of winning the lottery than getting Glastonbury tickets, that’s how precious they are. Go to Glastonbury or I promise you you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. This is an absolute no brainer.

There are people have been trying their whole lives to get Glastonbury tickets and never got to go.

You can make it up to your friend in another way and besides if she’s a real friend she’ll understand, it’s effing Glastonbury for fucks sake!!

And even more besides what kind of sadist arranges their wedding on Glastonbury weekend!!!!!!!!!!

Don’t be silly! Your chance of winning the lottery is less than one in 45 million!

myotherprofile agree fully. And not ‘just’ a simple holiday either. I once went to the Andaman Islands when tourist permits were very limited and unbelievably complex to sort out (it’s changed quite a bit now). Although a bizarre comparison I think it’s not so far from the truth. 😂
By hook or by crook op has landed tickets and is providing campervan and it’s what many would consider possibly ‘once in a lifetime’/real lottery if ever going again/high point in life experiences type event.
So glad op and bride have been in touch. Even more glad I can’t think of single friend of mine who would demand (by expectation and subsequent different view of me) my cancelling my bookings and demand my presence at her wedding in these circs.
Not sure either side if this thread will ever reconcile with the other.

Ummm did you miss easing of restrictions? Weddings are back. Festivals are starting to come back, absolutely no reason why Glasto won't be back next year.

Yes because the pandemic has been so predictable thus far....have you seen the numbers? Are you watching what's happening in other parts of the world? Kinda soon to be talking about "post pandemic" don't you think?

Regardless, go to the festival OP provided we are actually out of this nightmare.

Go to Glastonbury. Your friend won't mind. And even the best wedding wouldn't be a patch on Glastonbury. I'd make sure I could still go on the hen do or take her out for lunch or something and send a nice card and present still so she knows you are still thinking of her.

Yep, seen the numbers @whateveryouwantmetosay. Mad what's happening in India with a possible resurgence of flu - particularly in cities whereby Covid may have burnt out as the prevailing virus.

I went to the Libertines reunion gig over my good friends wedding 😳

[quote Whattheflecker]@MyOtherProfile we're at the point where people can make judgements about what risks they're willing to take. This is 2022 and two years after the pandemic began, is it reasonable to expect people to want to plan and enjoy life again?[/quote]
That's not the point at hand here. The point is, whatever we can or can't do, we are definitely not post pandemic. We are learning to live with the pandemic.

@HeronLanyon good comparison.

@MyOtherProfile don't turn this into a Covid thread, it's irrelevant for this question.

Covid police are very tiresome.

We can all access the information required regarding stats and post pandemic or not and it really doesn't need to be brought into this thread.

The Covid board is that way >>>

@RazorSharp it wasn't me who brought it up. Just seems dumb that people are mocking someone for suggesting we might not be post pandemic. Context is everything.

Some people are very precious about weddings, I've not gone to them for much lesser reasons than going to Glastonbury or on holiday, as long as you let them know as soon as possible which OP as done, it's fine.

You're not ditching your friend for Glasto, you're ditching her wedding, there's a difference.

@Campingcarryon

I have also declined a best friends wedding invite in Greece. She pulled the 'I thought you'd want to be there as my best friend and briedesmaid', too.

In all honesty, our friendship has changed slightly (her choice not mine) but it doesn't feel like the end of my world. It's a shame, but her wedding is the centre of her universe. I imagine one day she might mellow and cool off...and we could resume a normal friendship. Or not...whichever one is fine.

There are millions of people in the world to be friends with. Please don't let your friends bully you, guilt you, hold you to ransom, tell you how to live, what you should prioritise....

Sometimes friends come and go, with what they have going on in their lives and that's fine. She will be fine. And you will be fine.

Enjoy Glasto! Sounds like my idea of hell...but enjoy it!

But it’s ok for the OP to ditch her friends she’s going to Glasto with?

My best friend didn't come to my wedding because of what she called a once in a lifetime opportunity to go to Dubai. I was really hurt and still am 13 years on. I wanted to share my day with my favourite people and to not have her there when actually she could go to Dubai any time (they have plenty of money) was very upsetting. I wish she was in my photos and that I had memories of her being with me on the day.

Your day will never be as meaningful to other people as it is to you. And it really is just one day.

I have never been to Glasto or any festival - it sounds like my worst nightmare, but, from all that you have said OP, YANBU

We didn't go to a wedding of a close friend of DH because we had already accepted DH's best friend's 50th party. We knew one was going to be fun, and the other, less so.

If someone got in touch a month before the wedding and said they had a spare festival ticket, and you then told your friend you were going to skip her wedding (which you had previously RSVPed yes for) to go, then that would be incredibly unreasonable.

But that’s very different to your friend planning her wedding when you’ve had these plans in place for three years, and you having to actively cancel them to attend her wedding. I don’t know a single one of my friends who would expect that.

As others have said, if it were a long-awaited cruise or safari or skiing holiday, or if you had tickets to watch the World Cup final in Rio or something, would people still be saying you were outrageous to not cancel for your friend’s wedding? Or is it just because it’s a music festival and it’s somehow childish and silly to want to go to one of those?

Definitely Glastonbury without a doubt. You may never get to go again. Just tell her you're so sorry but you can't make that date. She will understand eventually, although it may hurt her at first. But otherwise you will always regret not going. Especially if she gets divorced in 5 years ;)

I'd go to the wedding. Yes, it's annoying that she booked it for that weekend but she won't have done that on purpose. If she's a close friend as you say, you really should be there to wish her well when she gets married.

I'd be beyond hurt if one of my best friends put a festival above my wedding (I wouldn't say anything because it would be their choice but I'd be secretly upset).

According to some people on here we’re all just supposed to put our lives on hold in case people we know get married, it’s mind-boggling.