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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To choose glastonbury over my friends wedding

789 replies

Campingcarryon · 04/09/2021 13:07

My good friend has just told me she is getting married the same weekend as glastonbury festival next year, for which I have tickets and have obviously by then waited 3 years to go, should it go ahead. I really want to go to the festival as getting tickets is incredibly hard and it’s the first time I have had tickets in 10 years. I love it there &
Post pandemic, I really want to just go and have some fun. I have a camper van so do it in a bit more luxury too.

I feel really bad but honestly I would rather go to the festival than the wedding but am I being really unreasonable? I can’t do both either as wedding is in a different part of the country. I don’t want to upset her either obviously 😬

OP posts:
CrankyFrankie · 05/09/2021 22:56

OP you did ask Confused

@TheRabbitStoleMyHat not everyone could make our wedding (for various reasons). I didn’t fall out with anyone over it, but my ‘close friendships’ are probably closer than the OP’s.

CrankyFrankie · 05/09/2021 22:58

(When I say ‘various reasons’, it was August bank hol and funnily enough none of my closest friends excused themselves to go to a festival 😆

CrankyFrankie · 05/09/2021 23:03

Tbf I think it just depends on the type of person you are and the type of friendships you have.

SpamThief · 05/09/2021 23:07

Imagine being the sort of person who wouldn't forgive a friend who couldn't attend your wedding due to something important they'd booked prior to your wedding date being set. Yikes.

bocodilloconqueso · 05/09/2021 23:21

@CrankyFrankie so what is an acceptable reason / preplanned event that means you can't go?

SleepingStandingUp · 05/09/2021 23:36

@Thehouseofmarvels

If it would be me I would book 2 exta nights in Sommerset, and simply say, I have a weeks holiday booked. Go to the seaside closet to Glasto or something nice. If you simply say it is a holiday and do not go into any details its a non issue. If she asks where you can simply say a week in Sommerset.
And then just never to anyone ever that she went to Glastonbury??
ConsulTremas · 06/09/2021 00:13

The people who think the OP should attend the wedding - what does amount to a valid reason not to attend?

I’m assuming a pre-arranged surgery would be a good reason, or anything medical than would genuinely prevent attendance.

Another wedding on the same date.

Bereavement.

ellyeth · 06/09/2021 00:30

As she is a "very close friend" I personally think you should go to the wedding, though I suppose it depends a lot on your friend - if she's fairly easy going and if you think she might make the same decision herself.

RubySlippers123 · 06/09/2021 02:45

@ConsulTremas

The people who think the OP should attend the wedding - what does amount to a valid reason not to attend?

I’m assuming a pre-arranged surgery would be a good reason, or anything medical than would genuinely prevent attendance.

Another wedding on the same date.

Bereavement.

Yes those sound like reasonable reasons.
RubySlippers123 · 06/09/2021 02:49

@SpamThief

Imagine being the sort of person who wouldn't forgive a friend who couldn't attend your wedding due to something important they'd booked prior to your wedding date being set. Yikes.
Whether or not the friend forgives the op is really not the point here though is it?

It's about how her friend is going to feel & whether the op even cares.

Lunar2020 · 06/09/2021 03:24

Absolutely DO GO TO GLASTONBURY!!!!!

You actually have more chance of winning the lottery than getting Glastonbury tickets, that’s how precious they are. Go to Glastonbury or I promise you you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. This is an absolute no brainer.

There are people have been trying their whole lives to get Glastonbury tickets and never got to go.

You can make it up to your friend in another way and besides if she’s a real friend she’ll understand, it’s effing Glastonbury for fucks sake!!

And even more besides what kind of sadist arranges their wedding on Glastonbury weekend!!!!!!!!!!

abstractprojection · 06/09/2021 03:45

Go but tell her now and why. She should understand, if she doesn’t well… Confused

Honestly weddings are for the immediate family really, and even then mostly parents and grandparents. Friends being able to come is a nice bonus

I would never expect one to cancel something that was important to them to attend, let alone booked beforehand. I say this as someone whose getting married in two weeks

Plumtree391 · 06/09/2021 04:08

She has told her friend, abstract, who has said op is not the only one who cannot come because of Glasto.

(Hope your wedding goes well. Nice time of year; I had an autumn wedding and it was lovely, really sunny.)

HarebrightCedarmoon · 06/09/2021 05:03

When I got married (2000) I dont think we checked anyone else's dates. Has anyone ever checked dates with you? No me neither (although my DC better. Is this now a thing - checking dates?)

I got married in June 2004 and discussed the proposed date just after we booked the venue (and could have still changed the date) with close family and good friends well before sending the invitations. Also checked for clashes with relevant sporting events and festivals before booking. I've certainly had my closest friends check their dates with me in a similar way.

whateveryouwantmetosay · 06/09/2021 05:06

Are we post pandemic? Did I miss something?

HarebrightCedarmoon · 06/09/2021 05:09

And Glastonbury has never been "a thing that happens every year". Sometimes it has had phases of being held every year but there have always been gaps. Obviously much more of a deal after Covid also. Even I can see that, and I'm not exactly a festival enthusiast.

overnightangel · 06/09/2021 05:11

You’ve already booked your holiday for that weekend, why would you cancel to go to a wedding ? It’s somewhere you’re desperate to go, if it was a week in the Maldives no one would be saying cancel so why is this different

Original poster
Campingcarryon · 06/09/2021 05:24

@ElizaDarcysDeeds what’s wrong with going to glasto at age 47? I have been 5 times in my life but haven’t been able to get tickets for the last 10 years which isn’t particularly unusual as many people have said (I have also had kids in that time too so there were a couple of years where my kids were too young to leave for 5 days) I do have some contacts for the festival but even they couldn’t get tickets as the 50th was so oversubscribed. I also go to other festivals. Is there a problem with this? Do jog on with your eye roll about my age.

OP posts:
TheStoic · 06/09/2021 05:34

I would hate to be in your position, OP. I'd be really upset at missing something I loved, but I couldn't bring myself to not go to a close friend's wedding in order to go to a music festival.

Hopefully she'll change the date to accommodate you and the others.

Alltoooooomuch · 06/09/2021 05:47

@whateveryouwantmetosay

Are we post pandemic? Did I miss something?
Ummm did you miss easing of restrictions? Weddings are back. Festivals are starting to come back, absolutely no reason why Glasto won't be back next year.
HarebrightCedarmoon · 06/09/2021 06:00

Quite right OP! And it's cruel and unusual punishment to be still expected to go to weddings aged 47, I'm 46 and haven't been to a wedding for ten years. Who is still going to weddings in their 40s? Between the ages of 25 and 35 we must have averaged three weddings a year. Enough is enough! Wink

HarebrightCedarmoon · 06/09/2021 06:07

I have never been to Glastonbury or any festival where you stay for several days, but it sounds like the ideal thing to do when we are empty nesters. Will be there with bells on in my 50s. @ElizaDarcysDeeds 's mind: 🤯

anon12345678901 · 06/09/2021 06:08

@whateveryouwantmetosay

Are we post pandemic? Did I miss something?
You definitely missed something.
MyOtherProfile · 06/09/2021 06:17

I would love an answer to this.

Those who are saying you shouldn't miss a wedding for a festival / concert / slosh in the mud, would you say the same if OP had booked an expensive holiday with a group of 5 friends? Would you still be saying you would prioritise the wedding?

I really want to know this, because that's basically what Glastonbury is.

RazorSharp · 06/09/2021 06:20

@whateveryouwantmetosay

Are we post pandemic? Did I miss something?
Everything is open now, people are free to attend weddings and festivals!

Not sure if you're knocking the wedding or the outdoor festival?

This might help you with current restrictions

www.gov.uk/coronavirus