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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To avoid TTC for a summer baby

176 replies

bestwisheskindregards · 04/09/2021 08:24

My partner and I are very ready to TTC but I've read and heard from friends that summer babies, particularly boys, struggle more in schools and generally have lower intelligence and success in later life.

I'm 30 and and my partner is 32 and it'll be our first pregnancy. I'm aware it could take a while so AIBU to avoid a summer baby?

I'm a summer baby and was in top set for some subjects and middle set for others. It was nice that the weather was always nice for my birthday but often no one could make my party as a kid as they we were on holiday.

I'm very torn!

OP posts:
Threearm · 04/09/2021 08:26

I wouldn't let being a summer baby put me off. Push comes to shove you can defer summer born children.

JayDot500 · 04/09/2021 08:29

You could always consider deferring if late summer. I'm a late summer baby and did quite well academically so I'd not be worried tbh.

Just an FYI don't try to plan for an early autumn baby either. I know two people who did this and ended up with babies on the last days of August.

Italiandreams · 04/09/2021 08:31

Two summer babies here. So many factors that can have an impact that I think my children are so advantaged in so many ways that I don’t worry about it in the scheme of things.

Pepperama · 04/09/2021 08:31

I don't think you can plan these things. Mine wasn't a summer baby but then we ended up moving to a place where the cut offs aren't in the summer, so he's now the youngest anyway. And he was a few weeks early, if he hadn't been he'd be the oldest in his class. So I'd just go for it and what'll be will be

Whinge · 04/09/2021 08:33

I wouldn't avoid having a summer born purely for school reasons. As a school were seeing more and more deferred summer borns each year, and I can only see it becoming more common in the future.

AlmostAlwyn · 04/09/2021 08:35

You can put off TTC for any reason you want, though I think the summer-born thing isn't set in stone. I didn't want a Christmas baby so delayed TTC to avoid December/January. You never know how long it's going to take though!

MeanMrMustardSeed · 04/09/2021 08:36

I would definitely wait. People are sometimes a bit funny on here about planning for an autumn baby, but most pregnancies are planned around something. Lots of people get pregnant straight away, but if you find out it doesn’t happen for you, then by next autumn you won’t care when your baby is born.
Hope it all goes well.

ttcissoboring · 04/09/2021 08:37

I used to do this but three years into TTC you suddenly realise there are more important things - I've had various miscarriage so at this point I don't care if born on Christmas Day / having a healthy baby is most important thing!

userxx · 04/09/2021 08:37

Imagine how much easier summer birthday parties are, bouncy castle in the garden etc. Winter birthdays are rubbish.

TheWayTheLightFalls · 04/09/2021 08:38

I dunno. I used to think like this. We ended up with an early September DD who I wish I could send off to school this year - she’s a 90th centile child, emotionally mature and calm who’s reading in two languages before the age of four. We’ve ended up moving her to a different nursery just to have a bit of a different scene for her in the coming year.

Among friends there are a few July/August born boys (first children especially) where I really think I’d be deferring/delaying if I was the parent - just clearly not there yet in terms of speech, concentration, sometimes physical coordination compared to other kids. Reception is play-based, but year 1, 2 etc isn’t.

TheWayTheLightFalls · 04/09/2021 08:39

And, yes, if it takes longer than you think TTC that all goes out the window!

tubbycustardtummyache · 04/09/2021 08:39

2 summer babies here too. Ok at school although it took DD1 until year one to properly find her feet. Not really an issue though, it was mainly social and confidence compared to the kids in her year who were nearly a year older than her.
Summer birthdays are great, so many more options. Downside is it’s also exam season
If I were to choose I would go for summer babies again, my 2 would definitely have got frustrated in that last year of nursery when they were more than ready for school

MakeMineALarge1 · 04/09/2021 08:39

My son was born in early August.
He never struggled academically or socially. He loved school and excelled there.

Demelza82 · 04/09/2021 08:40

You'll get loads of ' my son was an August baby and now he has 20 PhDs and is a multi-millionaire' because people often can't seen what's outside their own bubble but for what it's worth I would wait.

Through a convoluted set of circumstances I had an August baby and he would have really struggled going to school days after turing 4. I successfully deferred and he is thriving but I've had a number of friends in a similar situation acknowledge that their summer born kids need more support. I'm not having another child but I would definitely go for older in the year if I was but don't forget it's not an exact science and all the planning in the world won't prevent prematurity

For all the bragging some people might want to do on hereabout their summerborns - the stats don't lie and you'll see the same not just in education but elite sport and a plethora of other industries. Good luck with whatever you choose

Moonlaserbearwolf · 04/09/2021 08:41

Summer babies are great! Certainly not less intelligent - I’m sure you didn’t mean to say that?!
I did consciously avoid March because I didn’t want a Christmas baby - but honestly if you end up struggling to fall pregnant you really won’t care when you end up giving birth.

ghostyslovesheets · 04/09/2021 08:42

3 kids - two winter 1 summer - can’t say I’ve noticed much difference

HumunaHey · 04/09/2021 08:42

Lower intelligence? Because of the time of year they were born?🙄

Equimum · 04/09/2021 08:44

We deliberately attempted this and ended up with a late August baby. It has become much easier to delay Reception entry, so we did just that, and he is one of the oldest on his year.

TTC can be such an unpredictable journey that, from experience, I would suggest just seeing what happens and dealing with the implications of birthdays later.

Good luck

meow1989 · 04/09/2021 08:46

Dh and I are summer babies and both have good degrees and professions.

For what its worth, I would prefer a may to August baby if I could choose, that way they're a bit more robust when the winter comes (I know I sound like I'm from 1500!). Ds had a run of colds and ended up with bronchiolitis needing a night in hospital when he was about 8 months and it would have been so much more scary if he was a tiny newborn.

Italiandreams · 04/09/2021 08:46

You can get stats to say what you want, post code, parental occupation ,sex, probably November v Match etc. Life is not just about academic success . I understand we all want the best for our children but it’s such a small part of what matters and makes a difference . Plus conceiving is not always that simple.

YouMeandtheSpew · 04/09/2021 08:48

Loads of people (who are fortunate enough not to have fertility concerns) do this - some people actively try for September/October babies for this reason. You can stop TTC for a few months for any reason you want.

Be aware of what happened to my parents though. They deliberately conceived me to be born in September so I’d have the advantage of being the oldest in the school year. But I decided to make an appearance more than 2.5 months prematurely. Which meant I had the dual disadvantages of being both a summer baby and having been born prematurely. (I’ve done ok though and I love my July birthday).

Best laid plans and all that - there’s so much we can’t control around conception, pregnancy and birth.

Newmum29 · 04/09/2021 08:50

If you want to read the study it’s in Malcolm gladwell’s book Outliers. It’s mainly based on professional sports (he refers specifically to ice hockey) where of course there’s an advantage to having an extra year of physical growth.

Auntienumber8 · 04/09/2021 08:51

DH was born last day of July, I’m also a summer baby.He has a PhD from Cambridge and I attended a RG University.

Parental influence, ethnic group and socio economic level are the strongest indicators for academic achievement, note I didn’t write intelligence. There are always outliers before the anecdotes start rolling in. I did some work on educational outcomes and have researched poverty and it’s effects in the past.

I think that being a good communicator also really helps with success. I worked in higher education for almost 3 decades. I know I’m a little introverted but many of the people I met had very poor communication and social skills.

Thedoctordances · 04/09/2021 08:53

If you start TTC for say, a March-born baby it could take you six months to conceive. By which time you’ll potentially end up with an August/September baby anyway.

Thought it wouldn’t take me long TTC, would have preferred a summer baby but it’s been a year this month, not a sniff of a pregnancy so far.

Auntienumber8 · 04/09/2021 08:54

DS is a March born baby and is now 20. When he was small they had two intakes a year so he started at Easter and was only just 4. So he started proper school very young. He was fine.