Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To avoid TTC for a summer baby

176 replies

bestwisheskindregards · 04/09/2021 08:24

My partner and I are very ready to TTC but I've read and heard from friends that summer babies, particularly boys, struggle more in schools and generally have lower intelligence and success in later life.

I'm 30 and and my partner is 32 and it'll be our first pregnancy. I'm aware it could take a while so AIBU to avoid a summer baby?

I'm a summer baby and was in top set for some subjects and middle set for others. It was nice that the weather was always nice for my birthday but often no one could make my party as a kid as they we were on holiday.

I'm very torn!

OP posts:
ActonSquirrel · 04/09/2021 13:49

If you're going back to work, an August baby will save you a year in nursery fees.

They'll be starting school just after their 4th birthday

tellmeyatruth · 04/09/2021 13:53

@Threearm

I wouldn't let being a summer baby put me off. Push comes to shove you can defer summer born children.
In reality it's not easy, there's quite a process to it and not all schools faith & academies will let you delay entry into year R. I did get permission to delay my DS, but in the end I sent him with his cohort as his preschool said I should. In many ways he's done really, socially he's behind still.
AWanderingMinstrel · 04/09/2021 13:55

I’m a teacher- all if mine -4- born in autumn term!😂

TheGoogleMum · 04/09/2021 13:56

I am sceptical that it makes any difference long term, though I expect starting school is harder at first for only just 4 year olds compared to very nearly 5 year olds. Having said that I planned to stop ttc in March to avoid a December baby! (I just think a Christmas birthday means your birthday gets a bit overshadowed by Christmas). I ended up conceiving just before we planned to stop and had a November baby. I think if we'd been trying over a year I would have been a lot less fussy about it though!

rolyisntittimefor · 04/09/2021 13:56

If you're ready, get going. You don't know what will happen.

I'm a summer baby but fine at school, only pissed off when all my mates learnt to drive and could go clubbing and I couldn't. I now enjoy being the youngest!

I have two winter babies - thrilled I wasn't heavily pregnant in high summer (/any sporadic heatwaves...)

LargeBouquet · 04/09/2021 13:58

Ignore your friends. I've lived all over the world and only the UK, because of its strict school entry ideas, has this obsession with the disadvantage of summer-born children.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 04/09/2021 14:00

But I don't understand the relevance of this in relation to the OP's question regarding timing - those other factors will remain the same for her regardless of the baby's birthday. Of course my son has other advantages but if he'd been born in September rather than July he'd have had those advantages and the advantage of being one of the oldest.

The point being that OP hasnt yet made various parenting choices & so on, and efforts directed on that are more likely to have an impact than putting efforts into trying to time the birthday.

OP if you want your child to have good opportunities, there's other areas that will make more impact than the day they are born. Read & talk to your child often. Avoid loads of screen time and instead provide things that enable fine motor skill building, problem solving etc. Be an engaged parent at school - dont assume the school teaches your child, much of the work and practise happens at home.

Good luck.

Rollmopsrule · 04/09/2021 14:04

I do think the academic side of things is a bit of a myth. I know many summer born intelligent and successful adults. My Ds was born in July - he is very bright and doing extremely well in school. I think where summer babies struggle is the emotional side of things which can lead more difficulty socially - maybe but not always. Also sports wise simply due to older children being bigger and more developed but again it isn't always the case and as they age they will catch up and it all evens out.
Nothing wrong in planning TTC for when you want but it's not the end of the world if it doesn't go to plan.

RussianSpy101 · 04/09/2021 14:06

I have a January, August and December.

Can honestly say there’s no difference in their reaching milestones, development, ability at nursery with the January and August.
My December born is disabled so can’t compare.

Goldbar · 04/09/2021 14:08

Best-laid plans and all that. We thought the same when ttc no.2 (it only took 2 months to get pregnant with no.1). Two years on, one early miscarriage and nothing else.

Returnoftheowl · 04/09/2021 14:12

So you think everyone born in the summer are less intelligent? Bit of a rude sweeping statement there...

Buttons294749 · 04/09/2021 14:16

DD is a September born and will easily be ready for school tht year before she starts.
DS is February and would not cope at all starting st only just 4

HarrisMcCoo · 04/09/2021 14:17

I have April, July, August and September born children. As others point out, it's more than a birthdate that will determine their success in life.

Monkeymilkshake · 04/09/2021 14:21

Lol lower intelligence because they are born in August??? Are you serious???? Wow

dorothygaleandtoto · 04/09/2021 14:23

We would have liked a September baby, but it didn't happen straight away for us. I'm 24 weeks pregnant now and due on....Christmas day 🤭

thehairyhog · 04/09/2021 14:56

It's always better to be one of the older ones in the year. It just is. Life is much easier. Statistically (all the way up to university), and you can just see it, watching the younger ones struggle as they start (not just boys either). This is socially as well as academically. In every area really.

Of course it's not yet end of the world to be summer born, but of course it has an impact, the research is clear, and it's wrong to say that it all evens out by 7. It doesn't. The disadvantage goes all the way through.

TheWayTheLightFalls · 04/09/2021 15:07

@LargeBouquet the UK’s ridiculously early school start age also plays a part, in both the obsession and the issue.

Spyro1234 · 04/09/2021 15:12

In a July baby and I got best in my year for chemical engineering. So I don't think that's true!

Spyro1234 · 04/09/2021 15:12

*I'm 😁

TurquoiseDress · 04/09/2021 15:12

YANBU- it's completely up to you & your partner what time of the year you'd prefer to have a baby

Personally, it's something that literally never crossed my mind as a consideration while TTC

I'm August born and was always the youngest in everything, I've done alright in life (IMO) 2 degrees & fairly well paid job

Just to add, plan as much as you like but Mother Nature sometimes has other plans which you cannot control!

ILookAtTheFloor · 04/09/2021 15:12

We're a year into ttc number 3.

I'd take any month baby please!

shouldistop · 04/09/2021 15:17

@ILookAtTheFloor I hope it happens for you soon. Ds2 took 15 months to conceive after ds1 only taking 2 months!

ILookAtTheFloor · 04/09/2021 15:19

[quote shouldistop]@ILookAtTheFloor I hope it happens for you soon. Ds2 took 15 months to conceive after ds1 only taking 2 months! [/quote]
Thank you, I love reading stories like yours😊😊😊

FilthyforFirth · 04/09/2021 15:20

How bloody rude. So all summer born boys are of low intelligence and have no chance later in life? Jesus, do you hear yourself?

Queryquestion · 04/09/2021 15:50

Summer born boys do tend to not do as well at school. Obviously they're not less intelligence but the assessment process would suggest that. It's not rude to want to avoid that.

Swipe left for the next trending thread