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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To avoid TTC for a summer baby

176 replies

bestwisheskindregards · 04/09/2021 08:24

My partner and I are very ready to TTC but I've read and heard from friends that summer babies, particularly boys, struggle more in schools and generally have lower intelligence and success in later life.

I'm 30 and and my partner is 32 and it'll be our first pregnancy. I'm aware it could take a while so AIBU to avoid a summer baby?

I'm a summer baby and was in top set for some subjects and middle set for others. It was nice that the weather was always nice for my birthday but often no one could make my party as a kid as they we were on holiday.

I'm very torn!

OP posts:
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 04/09/2021 09:56

The number of incredibly well-qualified summer borns on this thread who can’t get a handle on the difference between anecdote and statistical data is quite something.

Birth timing within a cohort is one factor in academic and later success.

It is known to have less of an impact than other factors including parenting and socio economic factors etc.

Metallicalover · 04/09/2021 09:58

Do people actually do this??
I know my teacher friend joked and said they started ttc for a October baby as it worked good for maternity leave and have longer off. I worked as they conceived straight away but in the scheme of things they couldn't give a hoot as they were grateful that she could fall pregnant.
As someone who ttc 3 years younger than you and had my first baby at 30 (yep it took that long!) a health baby and mother was all I could ask for!

HumunaHey · 04/09/2021 09:58

@TheWayTheLightFalls

The number of incredibly well-qualified summer borns on this thread who can’t get a handle on the difference between anecdote and statistical data is quite something.
Isn't the point that, although statistically summer borns don't fare as well, it's not a given that they won't fare as well. People are giving examples of that.

Nothing is wrong with not taking a formulaic approach in attempting to mold the ultimate human being.

Opus17 · 04/09/2021 10:01

My cousin is a July baby, he's just graduated from a top uni bachelor and master combined with a 1st.
I really wouldn't worry about it! Good luck

Mum21031608 · 04/09/2021 10:02

Me and DH felt the same so started TTC’ing in a February, but it took 11 months to get pregnant and we ended up with a late August baby.

These things can’t always be planned.

Plus, as someone has said, it is becoming much more common practice now to delay a Summer Born going to school so they go into reception after their 5th birthday instead of their 4th.

If you had a Summer baby this year, I imagine in 4 years time when you’d be thinking about school, delaying their start until they are 5 wouldn’t even be something that’s blinked at.

peoniesandpastels · 04/09/2021 10:02

Plenty of people are going to reply with anecdotes about their summer babies who've done just fine (I'm a late July baby myself, I have a masters degree and am soon to begin doctoral level study and competed in two sports at National level) and just as many people who will tell you why deferring school entry was the right thing to do for their summer children.

Yes research suggests that on average, summer babies do a little worse academically in primary, but this gap narrows significantly over time, though doesn't close completely by the end of primary school. There are also a lot of other factors that predict academic attainment (socio-economic factors, parental education and influence etc) not controlled for in these studies.

It wouldn't be something that would put me off. My daughter is a September baby, but I wouldn't have panicked if she'd come at the end of August. You can make a decision based on your child and their readiness to start school closer to the time. If they don't seem ready, start the following year.

Didyousaynutella · 04/09/2021 10:03

You can’t have lower intelligence just because you a born in the summer. That’s a horrible thing to say. They might be at a disadvantage because they are doing things at a younger age than their peers but for goodness sake.
For what it’s worth I was summer born and have a first class honours degree in a science subject. My DH is also summer born and earn over 200k a year. Obviously anecdotal!
But yeah maybe avoid because there seems to be a ridiculous predjudice against summer born s these days!!

Whinge · 04/09/2021 10:03

If you had a Summer baby this year, I imagine in 4 years time when you’d be thinking about school, delaying their start until they are 5 wouldn’t even be something that’s blinked at.

As someone who works in a school, i'd agree. In 4 / 5 years time I expect it will be common practice, and those who don't defer will be in the minority.

JudesBiggestFan · 04/09/2021 10:04

I'm always confounded by people who think this way.
Children are a gift and to plan to this extent seems...ungrateful?
I have three boys born in April, January and August. All totally different characters but all academic.
But that's because my husband and I are academic high achievers, because we give them lots of opportunities, because we have a house full of books, because we travel a lot...their birth date in relation to the school calendar really has very little significance.
My youngest is the August born and he's by far the most confident and social...a product of personality or birth order maybe, but either way, he was more than ready for school. He'd been at nursery since he was eight months old so it wasn't a shock to the system.
Anyway, I'm rambling, but with children in general it's best to accept you get what you get and let go of your inner control freak! Mind you my husband is an August 26 birthday and my best friend is August 31st, so I do have a soft spot! And I'm June...the only disadvantage I found was in having exams on my birthday for years!

Jujujuly · 04/09/2021 10:05

@Viciousrooster

The evidence is pretty clear that children born Sept-Nov are statistically over-represented at top universities compared to children born June-August.

I would absolutely avoid, if possible, having a child born in August if they were entering the English/Welsh/NI education system

Just an aside but in NI the cut off is different so the youngest children are those born 30 June. August borns are among the oldest in the school year.

OP you’re young. You have no reason to suspect there will be problems conceiving so if I were you I’d wait until the new year to ttc. Statistically summer borns are at a disadvantage in England&Wales.

Flyingantday · 04/09/2021 10:05

@TheWayTheLightFalls

And, yes, if it takes longer than you think TTC that all goes out the window!
Yep, doesn’t it take 6m on average even for a couple without any issues? It always upset me when we were struggling to conceive and other women would be planning their conceptions so they could still drink at a wedding.
Mum21031608 · 04/09/2021 10:05

The number of incredibly well-qualified summer borns on this thread who can’t get a handle on the difference between anecdote and statistical data is quite something.

Exactly.

My husband is a late July baby and graduated with a First and is now Head Teacher of a very good school.

We are still delaying our summer born child’s school start though.

There is so much research out there now about the academic and emotional difficulties that affect summer born children and the detrimental impact it can have throughout their education and upon their mental health and it shouldn’t be outweighed by some anecdotes of successful Summer Born children.

Yuppie20 · 04/09/2021 10:08

I loved having a summer baby. Partner was a teacher so got the whole summer off all together. He hasn't started school yet but I don't think he will have problem at all. He is big for his age and quite advanced in terms of development. Summer birthdays are great too!

I think really you will have kids that maybe you need to defer a year and others won't need to. It really depends on that child.
You can never plan parenthood, just get trying Grin

TheWayTheLightFalls · 04/09/2021 10:08

Isn't the point that, although statistically summer borns don't fare as well, it's not a given that they won't fare as well. People are giving examples of that.

Clearly. There are lots of other factors equally/more important to success academically and in life. Which in itself makes the “I was born 31 August and have a DPhil” type responses pretty meaningless, imo.

I can give my own and DH’s examples too, to add to the pile, but it doesn’t mean a whole lot.

Twilightstarbright · 04/09/2021 10:10

My friend did this and had a mid September due date. Baby was born two months early in mid July. Best laid plans and all that.

DS is a July baby, like DH and I. We’d been trying a long time and I was just grateful to finally be pregnant.

Chickychoccyegg · 04/09/2021 10:12

This all sounds a bit silly, no one has lower intelligence due to the month they were born, you're completely over thinking things, just enjoy ttc, and enjoy your baby if/when it comes.
I live in Scotland, cut off dates for school year is near the end of February, lots of people defer a jan or Feb birthday, but I've never heard if anyone worried about Jan or Feb birthdays.
Summer birthdays are lovely, outdoor parties, holidays on your birthday, no school in your birthday.

C8H10N4O2 · 04/09/2021 10:12

There are pros and cons to each time of year. I was an August baby who was accelerated a year, my 4 Summer borns, including one who missed September by hours, were all successfully academically.

Time of year is only one small factor in success. Parental engagement and income are much more influential. Statistics across a population may not lie but you need the statistics for your segment of the population.

Hugoslavia · 04/09/2021 10:14

You are really overthinking this. It's not something that you can really control that much. If you have a late summer born boy, you can always hold them back a year at school if they're not ready.

Hardbackwriter · 04/09/2021 10:15

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

The number of incredibly well-qualified summer borns on this thread who can’t get a handle on the difference between anecdote and statistical data is quite something.

Birth timing within a cohort is one factor in academic and later success.

It is known to have less of an impact than other factors including parenting and socio economic factors etc.

But I don't understand the relevance of this in relation to the OP's question regarding timing - those other factors will remain the same for her regardless of the baby's birthday. Of course my son has other advantages but if he'd been born in September rather than July he'd have had those advantages and the advantage of being one of the oldest.
Hardbackwriter · 04/09/2021 10:16

lots of people defer a jan or Feb birthday, but I've never heard if anyone worried about Jan or Feb birthdays

But that's probably the case in Scotland because it's easy and standard to defer - which it still isn't in many areas of England.

IWasBornInAThunderstorm · 04/09/2021 10:16

Up to you reallt

StephanieJ · 04/09/2021 10:17

I was one of the youngest in my school year and it didn't effect my abilities in school. Don't get me wrong I'm not the brainiest but a lot of that was down to me talking more than listening 😂

IWasBornInAThunderstorm · 04/09/2021 10:18

summer babies, particularly boys, struggle more in schools and generally have lower intelligence and success in later life.

There are loads of intelligent summer born boys who don't struggle. So I'd take your friend's advice with a pinch of salt.

Whinge · 04/09/2021 10:18

But that's probably the case in Scotland because it's easy and standard to defer - which it still isn't in many areas of England.

It's getting more common, and in the OPs case 4/5 years from now I suspect it will be standard, like it is in Scotland.

lockdownalli · 04/09/2021 10:18

I've read and heard from friends that summer babies, particularly boys, struggle more in schools and generally have lower intelligence and success in later life.
Absolute bollocks. DS is a July baby and just got accepted to Cambridge. Not that academic success is always a marker of overall intelligence I guess but seriously OP?

Relax.