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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To avoid TTC for a summer baby

176 replies

bestwisheskindregards · 04/09/2021 08:24

My partner and I are very ready to TTC but I've read and heard from friends that summer babies, particularly boys, struggle more in schools and generally have lower intelligence and success in later life.

I'm 30 and and my partner is 32 and it'll be our first pregnancy. I'm aware it could take a while so AIBU to avoid a summer baby?

I'm a summer baby and was in top set for some subjects and middle set for others. It was nice that the weather was always nice for my birthday but often no one could make my party as a kid as they we were on holiday.

I'm very torn!

OP posts:
LargeBouquet · 04/09/2021 16:26

@Queryquestion

Summer born boys do tend to not do as well at school. Obviously they're not less intelligence but the assessment process would suggest that. It's not rude to want to avoid that.
The OP stated her friend’s belief that summer born children were ‘less intelligent’ — this is what people are responding to.
Lancrelady80 · 04/09/2021 17:59

A) This generally have lower intelligence and success in later life is bollocks. They may find it harder during school due to being younger in terms of development though. Certainly not less intelligent!!!

B) You can choose to delay the start of your child's schooling if they are summer born and you think they are not ready (by no means a given, my friend's August born was far readier for YR than my December daughter, despite being so much younger.) It's much easier to do so now, and they won't suddenly get dumped into Y1 rather than Reception when they do start, which used to be what happened. There may be pressure later on to skip a year so they return to their "correct" year group, but changes are only supposed to be in the best interests of the child, and it's hard to argue missing a year out completely is beneficial to them!

C) You have no idea how long (or even if) it will take to conceive. You can try to plan all you want, and if having a summer born worries you then it's fine to try to avoid having one, but ultimately it's in the lap of the gods.

Sarah180818 · 04/09/2021 18:31

My DS and DD were both summer born. DD is top of her class and my DS is just about to start school but pre school were always commenting on Jhis advanced vocabulary etc... We read to them and teach them a lot of things through play at home. A September baby won't automatically be cleverer because they start school later, I believe it is about good parenting. I also agree with other posters that summer birthdays are ace!

ActonSquirrel · 04/09/2021 19:01

@Sarah180818

My DS and DD were both summer born. DD is top of her class and my DS is just about to start school but pre school were always commenting on Jhis advanced vocabulary etc... We read to them and teach them a lot of things through play at home. A September baby won't automatically be cleverer because they start school later, I believe it is about good parenting. I also agree with other posters that summer birthdays are ace!
In fact a September baby is a year behind in education from an August baby who started school a year earlier even though born in the same year Smile
LittleCatDog · 04/09/2021 19:22

I put off TTC by a month to avoid an August baby and now due this month. Obviously it doesn't happen on the first try for everyone though but it did with my first so thought it might again and thought I'd prefer to have a September baby. I asked a teacher friend for her opinion and she said they generally catch up by around 7 years old.

IsabelHerna · 07/09/2021 10:56

I don't think the time of year affects intelligence or school performance. It is inherited and it is based on how the baby is brought up. If you treat the child differently because "it is a summer baby" then it will come true.

WearingMyBestMardyPants · 07/09/2021 14:45

You can choose to TTC when it suits you.

But you have no idea how long it will take.
DS1 was three cycles, DS2 took 8 but we lost him. And I've a MC and a MMC since. Started trying December 2019.

WellLarDeDar · 07/09/2021 14:53

Sounds like an old wives tale to me!

Housewife2010 · 07/09/2021 15:13

I have two summer babies. They are now both in top sets at school. They were never particularly small for their age and were both keen and ready to start in reception. I had always wanted Spring/Summer babies. It was a great time to have my children and to go for long walks with the pram in nice weather rather than being stuck inside.

TigsytheTiger · 07/09/2021 15:34

My late summer male baby is now 23 and has a Masters degree from a top Uni and in his first high flying grad job!

Did he struggle when he first started school? Yes, Does it make any difference by secondary school, not at all in my opinion.

I did have an incident when he was in Year 2, where his form teacher basically told my Mum who was collecting him that his hand writing was appalling and he would never achieve anything if he couldn't master letter formation! Confused

Luckily my pragmatic Mum, told her he is a summer born boy and he will get there in his own time. She told me to ignore her and just keeping encouraging and supporting him. Best advice ever!

RedMarauder · 07/09/2021 15:36

@Queryquestion

Summer born boys do tend to not do as well at school. Obviously they're not less intelligence but the assessment process would suggest that. It's not rude to want to avoid that.
What school though?

Infant school or first part of primary?

Primary school?

Secondary school?

I have a nephews who are born June, July and August, and those born in winter. In terms of GCSEs, A level and degree results it has made no difference. (In fact I think the summer born ones did better in their degree results.)

Also the OP could have a girl.....

TheWayTheLightFalls · 07/09/2021 15:43

@RedMarauder here’s one link for you. There is a (small) body of research on this if you want to dig into the issue.

www.cambridgeassessment.org.uk/Images/109784-birthdate-effects-a-review-of-the-literature-from-1990-on.pdf

To avoid TTC for a summer baby
RedMarauder · 07/09/2021 15:59

@TheWayTheLightFalls to be fair I know the answer as I've been told by child health professionals.

If the OP, partner and family has the right approach to learning and education it won't make a difference to her individual child. This is why you get all the posters pointing out it's not made a difference in their families.

Sarahlou252 · 07/09/2021 16:08

Two Summer borns and an Autumn born here and the only one I have had no issues or worries with so far, in terms of maturity as well as academically, is my Autumn born.

LittleOwl153 · 07/09/2021 16:20

School governor here looking at this summers exam results...

You would not want a summer born, ethnic minority, boy on pupil premium. They do not -statistically speaking - stand a cat in hells chance.

As the parent of an August born, would I change things for her - yes I would if I could. She was born before you could properly defer school start so maybe that would make a difference...

CookieCrunch123 · 07/09/2021 16:41

It’s totally up to you if you want to delay or not. Have a look at the birthdays bit on Facebook and see what your summer baby friends have done with their lives though. My summer born friends have all been just as successful as the autumn born ones but I notice a distinct creative streak in them that I love. My September born friends are a bit more quirky and academic - different but not necessarily better or worse. Could just be my friends tho I suppose. I would only try to avoid summer birthdays if there’s likely to be several other disadvantages that are known to make it harder for kids academically like if their from a deprived area etc. Other than that I’d not worry. Someone on here mentioned sport but the sport I did used the calendar year for age groups so autumn babies were disadvantaged there 🤷🏼‍♀️ You can’t cover every eventuality.

ArnoldJudasRimmer · 07/09/2021 17:18

I'm female, but a summer baby. Not wanting to blow my own trumpet, although I suppose I am a bit, but I have a postgrad and barely had to try to get As in quite a few subjects - just showing that summer born doesn't mean low intelligence!
There's nothing wrong with planning, as far as possible, when you want your child to be born, but having had spring and autumn babies (didn't plan the dates), I would personally avoid being pregnant during summer if I could, it was horrendous.

BreakfastOfWaffles · 07/09/2021 17:27

@Viciousrooster

The evidence is pretty clear that children born Sept-Nov are statistically over-represented at top universities compared to children born June-August.

I would absolutely avoid, if possible, having a child born in August if they were entering the English/Welsh/NI education system

But is this also because some of them have more invested parents who plan it that way to gain a perceived advantage? Did they also look at parental investment in education in that study?
Newkitchen123 · 07/09/2021 17:42

@Christmasfairy2020

Buy an ovulation kit and you should get caught 1st time. We used clear blue. Also I'd love a June birthday we are all winter here and it's irritating
It really might not be that simple
LittleGwyneth · 08/09/2021 11:02

I tried to do the same thing - I wanted to get pregnant in January for a September baby, and to never have to have a sober Christmas. I'm the same age as you, and lo and behold, it took six/seven months to get pregnant. By the time it happened I was so worried that I'd never get pregnant that I would have been delighted for an August baby.

There are so, so many factors which contribute to how successful your child will be, I don't think birth month is a truly major one. And as others have said, you can always hold them back for the following year if they're in touching distance of September (I always feel a bit judgemental of parents who do this for kids born in May, so they'll be 19 when taking A Levels!)

If you're ready to start trying I would start, but you're perfectly valid to avoid TTC for any reason which feels right to you.

scarpa · 08/09/2021 12:05

My mum did this. I showed up 6 weeks early and started school 3 days after I turned 4 (and did absolutely fine - but you could always defer).

starray · 09/11/2021 14:01

Summer born child and I really do think it makes a huge difference. There's always those who say (including teachers!) that it makes no difference, they all catch up in the end. That other children are also summer born in the class, but they're absolutely fine. However, for MY child, it's not been fine. Very advanced academically, but emotional maturity has been a real issue.

Sparklybanana · 09/11/2021 14:28

Don't assume anything when ttc. We took 2 years for one and about 5 minutes (Blush) for our youngest so there are no rules. There are positives and negatives for being born in any month but at least with a summer baby you could defer a year if you think they are too young. My dh was deferred - he was a premie summer baby and couldn't deal with school at a young age. He did find his flow though and is highly intelligent in a "understands rocket science" kind of way so didn't do him much harm!
Plus he gets great weather on his birthdays which is something I have never had!

emergencygapjumper · 09/11/2021 14:31

OP I know exactly what you mean, but you can't plan these things. It's the sort of thinking that haunts you 18months and 50 pregnancy tests later. Just ttc when you're ready and what will be, will be.

TheNinny · 09/11/2021 15:10

I’ve only known the summer baby thing to exist on mumsnet. No one I know has ever mentioned it in real life. I am summer born and was to top sets for everything, never struggled academically. My winter born brother was average at school. My niece is July born and the top student in her year. I realise the examples I have given of successes are girls but I had summer born peers who were boys and were all my classes and did well. No way would I postpone TTC on this alone.