Do I tell bf about what he ate?

[troobleflooble]

I'm in a new relationship and he is vegan. While I'm not, I understand and appreciate his viewpoint and want to be respectful of his choices so I've become quite thorough at checking labels on things to make sure they are suitable for him.

Was at his place recently and noticed he had something in his fridge I've never tasted before so I picked it up to have a look. Out of habit I checked the label and noticed that it isn't vegan, in fact it's not even vegetarian! I don't think he has realised as, while he isn't militant about it, I'm sure he wouldn't want to eat it if he knew. The jar was half empty so he has definitely been eating it.

I don't want to make him feel bad by pointing it out but if you were vegan would you want to know? Should I say anything?

@Oogachuckachopsy

I’d tell him with such relish 😂 he’s either a cheaty vegan, in which case you’re armed to shut down any holier than thou “you should be vegan unless you want the world to die,” comments, or he doesn’t bother reading labels which suggests he’s a half-arsed vegan anyway.

I watched a holier-than-thou vegan friend-of-friend get absolutely trollied and then chow down a bag of bacon crisps with soured cream and onion dip. She’s a pain in the arse though so may be colouring my view.

You'd tell him with relish? You sound awful.

I am a doctor, and it sounds like a very convenient excuse to me. I am trying to imagine what essential nutrients are found only in fish, and I cannot think of any whatsoever. Neither can I imagine that a single portion once a month would be enough to replace whatever these mysterious nutrients were.

Yeah, the once a month thing seems very weird, like how would that help. 😬
I think it just stems from wanting that label for some people which is just weird.

Yes this star I misremembered as Instagram.
She was YouTube star, here is a news article from when it happened.
If you look on web, you’ll see her story changes a bit.

nypost.com/2019/03/22/vegan-youtube-star-accidentally-exposes-herself-as-a-fraud/

Soon after, she was seen in another YouTube star’s video in front of a salad. Fans were quick to point out the self-proclaimed vegan was eating a major no-no: fish.

The backlash led Ayres to post a video apologizing for the non-vegan meal.

“I know that so many of you trust me, you listen to me and you probably feel deceived and lied to — and you’re in your whole right to feel that,” Ayres said.

She claimed she suffered health problems, which required her to change her diet and incorporate more protein. A doctor reportedly diagnosed her with small intestinal bacterial overgrowth, which involves an abnormal amount of bacteria in the small intestine, according to medical journals.

“I wasn’t ovulating,” she said in the video. “I was basically anemic and my thyroid levels were low. It was really bad, but it was borderline.”

@Oogachuckachopsy

I’d tell him with such relish 😂 he’s either a cheaty vegan, in which case you’re armed to shut down any holier than thou “you should be vegan unless you want the world to die,” comments, or he doesn’t bother reading labels which suggests he’s a half-arsed vegan anyway.

I watched a holier-than-thou vegan friend-of-friend get absolutely trollied and then chow down a bag of bacon crisps with soured cream and onion dip. She’s a pain in the arse though so may be colouring my view.

Really not fair, we’ve been really good for 20+ years but have messed up a couple of times, especially when it’s lots of ingredients squashed in a wall of text in size 6 font.

@DismantledKing

Was it a pork pie?

😂😂😂😂

You'd tell him with relish? You sound awful.

She really does. Some people are best ignored.

@Tealwarrior

I would say something by way of making it clear that he’s either a vegan or he’s not and if not then it doesn’t need to be taken into consideration going forward.

Well what if he says "vegan", because its easier than explaining that he doesn't eat meat or diary, but does eat eggs (for example). I don't know the full situation, but I got sick of explaining my dietary preferences to people, and just started calling myself a pescatarian, even though that isn't strictly true. If he is mainly vegan, apart from 1 or 2 products, it is still easiest to describe himself that way. I would just mention it like I just noticed, hold it and say "x did u know this isn't vegan?! I can't believe it....". That's just in case he doesn't know. But if its framed like "how can you call yourself a vegan if you eat x", I wouldn't bother....

I'd tell him, we look out or an allergen and we often find we can't buy something we used or, or visa versa.

He may just be culturally vegan.

To be fair to part time vegans, it’s probably more convenient to describe themselves as that for catering reasons rather than trying to portray themselves a certain way- easier than saying I try to eat vegan most of the time, sometimes I slip up or let it slide a bit but please am I still allowed the vegan menu!

I’m vegan and would assume that kimchi is vegan as I think if it as being pickled cabbage. I wouldn’t expect animal products.

@WinTheNight

That’s interesting response. So in your opinion, you can only be a vegan if you 100% perfectly follow all the restrictions? That seems a bit harsh to me. Like saying you can only be a Christian if you attend church every week without fail and never sin?

All the people laughing at the pork pie comment, do you buy your pork pies in a jar? Or does eating meat mean you lose your ability to read? Or could it possibly be that at the opportunity of knocking a vegan diet, you didn’t hang around to read it properly. How sad that for whatever reason, someone living differently to you provokes such a response.

I’ll await the pile on for saying this because it’s only funny for meat eaters to make jokes at vegans but not the other way around. 🤷🏻‍♀️ My boyfriend eats meat as does one of my kids so very much of the thinking, eat what you want and accept people choose different things.

@FleasInMyKnees

Was it a fatball

Love it

I know it's unlikely but shrimp (shellfish) is a fairly common allergy, so in general if he thinks he's eating vegan food he wouldn't have to explicitly specify any meaty/fishy allergies - always best to be upfront about this kind of thing just on the offchance.

Just ask him

@WinTheNight

All the people laughing at the pork pie comment, do you buy your pork pies in a jar? Or does eating meat mean you lose your ability to read? Or could it possibly be that at the opportunity of knocking a vegan diet, you didn’t hang around to read it properly. How sad that for whatever reason, someone living differently to you provokes such a response.

I’ll await the pile on for saying this because it’s only funny for meat eaters to make jokes at vegans but not the other way around. 🤷🏻‍♀️ My boyfriend eats meat as does one of my kids so very much of the thinking, eat what you want and accept people choose different things.

You’re obviously not getting enough of the mineral that provides a sense of humour. You’re getting plenty of the self-righteous one though.

That’s interesting response. So in your opinion, you can only be a vegan if you 100% perfectly follow all the restrictions? That seems a bit harsh to me. Like saying you can only be a Christian if you attend church every week without fail and never sin?

I’m not judge and jury and not trying to be. But eating prawns, bacon and cheese, no you can not be a vegan.

Wearing leather, second hand, that’s a personal one. Making a mistake and missing an ingredient on something not obviously meat or dairy based, totally understandable.

I don’t want to come across as judgemental, I’m not, I live with 2 meat eaters and a vegetarian whilst I’m vegan. I believe in people’s right to choose, although I hope one day animal exploitation stops obviously. But you can’t be vegan whilst knowingly shovelling meat and dairy in your mouth. If it’s occasional then I’d say I are mainly vegan foods but sometimes I eat meat and dairy....only if it came up in conversation. The people with the label obsession, I find odd especially when they don’t do what the label says. 🤣

Definitely let him know. It's his choice whether he stops eating it.

I’d tell him. It’s the kind of thing you could make a mistake about and I’d want to know.

@DismantledKing

Was it a pork pie?

You’re obviously not getting enough of the mineral that provides a sense of humour. You’re getting plenty of the self-righteous one though.

I’m actually not that bothered. People eat what they want. But honestly, when people find out you’re a vegan, many never miss a chance to stick the boot in and it does get annoying. I’m not self righteous at all, I buy meat and dairy for my partner and kids, I make them their dinner containing it. Being vegan is just normal to me, it’s others that take issue, I don’t even think about it until someone brings it up and it’s often with a negative slant unfortunately.

Anyway...are you going to tell him or not OP? 🤣

@WinTheNight

I know lots of people who are vegan and have never come across anyone that eats any meat or dairy. I’ve never heard of a medical condition like that but I’m not a doctor. The definition of vegan is something like ‘those that avoid any animal cruelty as far as is practical’ something like that so I suppose if a doctor has said its necessary, that’s possible. Like some vegans don’t take any medication and some do.

My niece has been vegan for years, but when she first stopped eating meat and dairy, she had some seizures and ended up having regular brain scans for a while.

She's absolutely fine now, but has to keep a close eye on the nutrients she's taking in.

I think, tell him in a kind way. Vegetarian for most of my 74 years, it was a bit wearing when people would triumphantly say iron tablets are not veggie or something similar. I didn't wear it like a badge.

I’d tell him. I remember years ago working on a till, man I served was buying a chorizo and butter bean soup that I particularly liked, made some kind of small talk about it and he said “yes, it’s amazing you could never tell it wasn’t real meat”. I had to tell him that it was. He was very grateful!