Do I tell bf about what he ate?

[troobleflooble]

I'm in a new relationship and he is vegan. While I'm not, I understand and appreciate his viewpoint and want to be respectful of his choices so I've become quite thorough at checking labels on things to make sure they are suitable for him.

Was at his place recently and noticed he had something in his fridge I've never tasted before so I picked it up to have a look. Out of habit I checked the label and noticed that it isn't vegan, in fact it's not even vegetarian! I don't think he has realised as, while he isn't militant about it, I'm sure he wouldn't want to eat it if he knew. The jar was half empty so he has definitely been eating it.

I don't want to make him feel bad by pointing it out but if you were vegan would you want to know? Should I say anything?

@Aggy35

I'm plant based and have on occasion eaten stuff that isn't even vegetarian.For example if someone gave me something as a gift etc.Im sure he knows as we are used to checking labels.Not all vegans are militant and many rather eat something than waste it

I don’t think it’s fair to judge vegans as “militant” just for actually being vegan.

[quote Copium]@Ileflottante you are being extremely rude and disrespectful towards vegans then acting like the target of you sneering is the problem.[/quote]
I am a vegan 😂… I just like to poke fun at the terminally offended vegans, of which this thread has proved bountiful.

Urgh. No, actually you cannot “identify” as vegan if you’re not. It’s extremely offensive to vegans to do so, and a constant source of confusion, boundary pushing and and people disrespecting and misunderstanding our beliefs.

I wonder why some people think us vegans are ‘militant’ maniacs?! 😂

I am a vegan 😂… I just like to poke fun at the terminally offended vegans

Not a proper vegan then are you? I remember a thread where OP tried to claim to be vegan despite having eating a dish with fish sauce in once, to be polite to the cook. She was told, with no hint of irony, that there is "no such thing as an easygoing vegan".

If it's up to MN vegans to define veganism then I'm pretty sure that not having a sense of humour is more important than the no-meat thing.

Yes

No, actually you cannot “identify” as vegan if you’re not.

Veganism is a social construct. People perform veganism in many different contexts. If someone identifies as vegan, why not just be kind and accept them for who they feel themselves to be?

I just like to poke fun at the terminally offended vegans, of which this thread has proved bountiful.

You like to do that and I like to look at the posting history of people that do things like that. It’s always interesting to find inconsistencies.

I eat fish but not meat, I'd love to be vegan but it's too much for my knackered bod. You do you and let others chose.

@donquixotedelamancha

I am a vegan 😂… I just like to poke fun at the terminally offended vegans

Not a proper vegan then are you? I remember a thread where OP tried to claim to be vegan despite having eating a dish with fish sauce in once, to be polite to the cook. She was told, with no hint of irony, that there is "no such thing as an easygoing vegan".

If it's up to MN vegans to define veganism then I'm pretty sure that not having a sense of humour is more important than the no-meat thing.

I am actually. I have to be. I have familial hypocholesteremia and evidence of atheroma in several major coronary arteries, following a scare and an angiogram. As it stands, a vegan diet is believed to reverse atheroma. So I’m extremely strict with it. I do take various meds too but the diet is something I can control myself.

@donquixotedelamancha

No, actually you cannot “identify” as vegan if you’re not.

Veganism is a social construct. People perform veganism in many different contexts. If someone identifies as vegan, why not just be kind and accept them for who they feel themselves to be?

It doesn’t matter whether they identify as a vegan , sofa or helicopter. It’s how entitled they are in expecting others to accommodate their preferences. Such as complaining about the vegan food provided (when it’s something actually made with effort not just salad). Expecting everybody else’s dinner plans to change to a vegan friendly restaurant when they joined last minute. IME these are all from the people who make véganisme a part of their identity and are militant. And none are my friends anymore, unlike my other lovely vegan friends who are very happy with the effort made and mindful of others.

I would want to know. Surprised he isn’t an ingredient checker though.

Yes, point it out to him. He should appreciate your interest in his diet.

Note that a leading brand of Worcester Sauce is also non-vegetarian, as are many chocolate desserts found in certain supermarkets.