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Original poster

Do I tell bf about what he ate?

337 replies

troobleflooble · 03/09/2021 19:55

I'm in a new relationship and he is vegan. While I'm not, I understand and appreciate his viewpoint and want to be respectful of his choices so I've become quite thorough at checking labels on things to make sure they are suitable for him.

Was at his place recently and noticed he had something in his fridge I've never tasted before so I picked it up to have a look. Out of habit I checked the label and noticed that it isn't vegan, in fact it's not even vegetarian! I don't think he has realised as, while he isn't militant about it, I'm sure he wouldn't want to eat it if he knew. The jar was half empty so he has definitely been eating it.

I don't want to make him feel bad by pointing it out but if you were vegan would you want to know? Should I say anything?

OP posts:
trumpisagit · 05/09/2021 10:10

I am vegan. I would want to know so I wouldn't eat it again, it happens.
I almost bought something similar recently (a miso soup mix) as my normal miso is vegan.
I almost realised 2 packets in, that the marg I was eating wasn't vegan.
I am sure he doesn't know and would appreciate you telling him.

Margerine78 · 05/09/2021 13:15

Nah, he sounds like my ex's sister who used to say she was veggie and then wolf down bacon sandwiches every weekend when hung-over. Trust me as a veggie, we read labels as the idea of eating anything accidentally grosses us out!

Oogachuckachopsy · 05/09/2021 13:17

@WinTheNight

You'd tell him with relish? You sound awful.

She really does. Some people are best ignored.

I would. Naughty, cheaty vegan.
takehomepay · 05/09/2021 13:31

@Margerine78

Nah, he sounds like my ex's sister who used to say she was veggie and then wolf down bacon sandwiches every weekend when hung-over. Trust me as a veggie, we read labels as the idea of eating anything accidentally grosses us out!
RTFT. Anyone can make mistakes.
Oogachuckachopsy · 05/09/2021 13:36

@NoMoreBananas

This thread is like a meeting for Vegans Anonymous
That’s an oxymoron if ever there was one.
Ileflottante · 05/09/2021 13:42

@WinTheNight

I couldn't be bothered with the hassle of dating a vegan.

Lol. Just read this out to my partner who eats meat and he says he loves me being vegan as I don’t steal his food off his plate when we go out for dinner like other women. 🤣
I’m sure I have other good points too. Hmm

Well, you’re certainly persistent. 😂
Oogachuckachopsy · 05/09/2021 13:44

@DetroitNeedsADog

Sorry link didn't work. They cut off shrimps eyes to make them nature faster.
We should try that with men.
Lulu49 · 05/09/2021 13:48

Previous girlfriend left behind?

Annoyedanddissapointed · 05/09/2021 14:06

Isn't plant based used for people who eat no animal products, but aren't vegan? Because afaik, vegan isn't only food but overal lifestyle

takehomepay · 05/09/2021 14:09

I think people who eat animal by-products but not meat are lacto-vegetarians. And ones who don’t eat those products are vegan.

WinTheNight · 05/09/2021 14:16

Well, you’re certainly persistent.

Many people have commented on this thread lots, like they do on other threads. It’s allowed. Wink

My relationship with my partner is good despite me being vegan and him eating meat. Tolerance and all that. People usually make shitty comments when they’re not happy so maybe have a look at your life and relationship and don’t be shitty to me when I’ve not done anything to deserve it.

Ileflottante · 05/09/2021 14:34

@WinTheNight

Well, you’re certainly persistent.

Many people have commented on this thread lots, like they do on other threads. It’s allowed. Wink

My relationship with my partner is good despite me being vegan and him eating meat. Tolerance and all that. People usually make shitty comments when they’re not happy so maybe have a look at your life and relationship and don’t be shitty to me when I’ve not done anything to deserve it.

It’s ok, I know you’re a vegan, you’ve mentioned it a few times already. You didn’t need to mention it again and again and again. Why did you shoehorn it into the second part of your post to me?!

Also, plot twist alert, I’m plant-based, too. Mainly because I have a health problem but still. I miss prosciutto. And steak tartare. And pork pies.

Vegans who go on about it and take offence at everything vegan jokes are usually the unhappy ones though.

WinTheNight · 05/09/2021 14:49

Ileflottante

Read my posts. None are horrible, unlike yours. Maybe have a look at your life as to why you feel the need to be nasty to people who have done nothing to you and haven’t in any way judged anyone’s choices.

Life’s too short to spend it being unkind to others or for me to let you affect my day. 😎

WinTheNight · 05/09/2021 14:55

As for Worcester sauce, I use Biona and would recommend it.

Ileflottante · 05/09/2021 15:00

@WinTheNight

Ileflottante

Read my posts. None are horrible, unlike yours. Maybe have a look at your life as to why you feel the need to be nasty to people who have done nothing to you and haven’t in any way judged anyone’s choices.

Life’s too short to spend it being unkind to others or for me to let you affect my day. 😎

I didn’t at any point suggest your posts were horrible. Just……plentiful.
WinTheNight · 05/09/2021 15:21

I didn’t at any point suggest your posts were horrible. Just……plentiful.

And did it make you feel better or good to be negative to me?
I didn’t realise there was a limit to how many times someone could post.....oh no, there isn’t.... if you don’t want to read my posts, just ignore them.

Try to be a better person. 😊

TractorAndHeadphones · 05/09/2021 15:25

@takehomepay

I think people who eat animal by-products but not meat are lacto-vegetarians. And ones who don’t eat those products are vegan.
No, just plain vegetarians. A vegetarian only avoids meat. Anybody who avoid all animal products is vegan.
TractorAndHeadphones · 05/09/2021 15:29

@Annoyedanddissapointed

Isn't plant based used for people who eat no animal products, but aren't vegan? Because afaik, vegan isn't only food but overal lifestyle
It’s supposed to be the be whole lifestyle but people use it solely for diet. Because the rest of it doesn’t affect other people.
TractorAndHeadphones · 05/09/2021 15:33

Also so much vegan/non vegan animosity 🤣
Being a dickhead is independent of food choice!

RobinWoodPrinceofLeaves · 05/09/2021 15:38

I’m going to assume he is an adult and it won’t affect his health, then I wouldn’t say anything, unless it comes up in conversation.

Simonjt · 05/09/2021 16:03

@takehomepay

I think people who eat animal by-products but not meat are lacto-vegetarians. And ones who don’t eat those products are vegan.
Lacto-vegetarians don’t eat meat, fish, or eggs but do eat dairy.

I’m an ovo-vegetarian, we eat eggs but no meat, fish or dairy.

melj1213 · 05/09/2021 16:04

I don't understand the amount of people on this thread who would go out of their way not to tell a partner what was in their food.

If I was dating someone who was vegan and we had gone out for a meal where I had later found out that the meal he had eaten was not vegan, I might not mention it as it was a one off and nothing can be changed. I would only bring it up if it was relevent - eg we were going back and he planned to order the same thing or he was recommending it to another vegan friend - in order to inform his decision making.

The same would apply to foods in a vegan partner/friend's home - if it was something they were clearly eating regularly or had bought multiple times and I knew it wasn't vegan then I would mention it as it would be valuable information. Either the person was unaware, in which case they can then stop eating the food/not buy it again, or they were aware, in which case I would then initiate a conversation about the "exceptions" they were willing to make so it could inform future decisions about meals etc.

Sadiecow · 05/09/2021 16:08

He's a grown man, he can take the fact he ate shrimp!

FGS, he's not four!

Copium · 05/09/2021 16:57

@PlanDeRaccordement

No, don’t say anything. I’m sure he knows it’s not vegan or vegetarian and is eating it anyway. You don’t have to be 100% vegan in all things to identify as vegan. And some vegans do occasionally eat nonvegan for health reasons.
Urgh. No, actually you cannot “identify” as vegan if you’re not. It’s extremely offensive to vegans to do so, and a constant source of confusion, boundary pushing and and people disrespecting and misunderstanding our beliefs.

To be clear, vegan is the belief that animals are not here for human use. It is not a diet and it is not an “identity”. We avoid animal use as far as possible, accepting that we live in a non vegan world (for example many vegans make exceptions for medication, or for sitting in other peoples cars with leather seats etc). There is no inbetween in whether you believe that animals are for human use, or not. One is vegan and one is not.
There are no health reasons for eating meat. Health may be their justification, which is fine, but it is simply not a vegan choice. There are vegan ways of achieving the same thing.

In answer to OP, yes tell him. Just, “did you know that has milk in it?” is fine.

I’ve been vegan 15 years and still make mistakes, for example sometimes the same brand will switch packaging or change ingredients, so that things you’ve bought for years, or which look like the things you’ve bought for years, are not vegan. If it’s a mistake he will definitely want to know.

Alternatively, he may have bought this since before he was vegan and would rather use it up to not waste it, as this (in his mind) would be more disrespectful to the animals lives. Not vegan, and I personally would donate it on Olio, but I understand where that comes from especially if he’s not aware of how to donate.

Copium · 05/09/2021 17:19

@Ileflottante you are being extremely rude and disrespectful towards vegans then acting like the target of you sneering is the problem.