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Original poster

Do I tell bf about what he ate?

337 replies

troobleflooble · 03/09/2021 19:55

I'm in a new relationship and he is vegan. While I'm not, I understand and appreciate his viewpoint and want to be respectful of his choices so I've become quite thorough at checking labels on things to make sure they are suitable for him.

Was at his place recently and noticed he had something in his fridge I've never tasted before so I picked it up to have a look. Out of habit I checked the label and noticed that it isn't vegan, in fact it's not even vegetarian! I don't think he has realised as, while he isn't militant about it, I'm sure he wouldn't want to eat it if he knew. The jar was half empty so he has definitely been eating it.

I don't want to make him feel bad by pointing it out but if you were vegan would you want to know? Should I say anything?

OP posts:
TowandaForever · 04/09/2021 19:23

@speakout

So you can be a vegan and use a smartphone which contains dead animal derivatives? Can I identify as vegan because I only eat a ham sandwich once a month?
What animal derivatives are in phones?
CBUK2K2 · 04/09/2021 19:23

I couldn't be bothered with the hassle of dating a vegan.

TheStudyOfLife · 04/09/2021 19:27

@speakout

You wouldn't call yourself either because you eat meat and dairy.

No.
And vegans consume animals.

Would love to know what you mean by this.

If it's that you once met someone who said they were vegan, but then ate an ice cream- you can't seriously extrapolate that to mean that everyone who says they are vegan also eats ice cream. That's just nonsense.

If you're still meaning smart phones, I thought I made the reasoning clear, but perhaps not. Veganism is not about perfection. It's about avoiding all animal products as much as is practically possible. For example, meat and dairy are easy to avoid and replace. Likewise animal products in toiletries, and leather shoes. Leather steering wheels are almost impossible to avoid, but vegans still need to be able to work, so most would consider that an unfortunate necessity.

Very happy to answer genuine questions, but this line seems to be getting a bit ridiculous.

Tealwarrior · 04/09/2021 19:28

What animal derivatives are in phones?

Bits from an elephant perhaps in case a person wants to make a trunk call.

speakout · 04/09/2021 19:29

What animal derivatives are in phones?
Stearates used in adhesive, screens contain animal cholesterol, metal production uses animal additives.
If you are using a smart phone you are using dead animal parts.
mobile-phones.ie/are-smartphones-vegan/

speakout · 04/09/2021 19:32

TheStudyOfLife

But then why do you want to wear that badge of moral superiority by calling yourself a vegan? Why the need?

WinTheNight · 04/09/2021 19:32

The thing is if someone wants to say I’m not a vegan because I have a phone or whatever, I don’t really care. For the sake of discussions like this or to explain my dietary requirements for an event I’d call myself a vegan. But other than that I don’t really give it a thought. I do everything I can to avoid animal cruelty. I have to have a phone for my job involving animal welfare. There’s not really an alternative. But where there is an alternative like food, toiletries, clothing, household items, I will use the alternative.

TheStudyOfLife · 04/09/2021 19:36

@speakout

TheStudyOfLife

But then why do you want to wear that badge of moral superiority by calling yourself a vegan? Why the need?

Grin

No one brought up moral superiority, but I'm flattered you think that!

It's not a 'badge of moral superiority' though, even if you do see us that way- it's just an easy way to label food, toiletries etc which takes up less room on the menu or back of the packet than saying "this doesn't contain meat, dairy, beeswax, crushed insects, etc etc".

Honestly, I've never really understood why anyone would be upset that another human chooses not to eat something. You don't have to call yourself vegan, and you can eat what you like. Confused

Unless it's that you don't like feeling morally inferior- but that's an issue intrinsic to you, because no vegan has brought that up or even insinuated it! Smile

oakleaffy · 04/09/2021 19:37

Please say it wasn't pickled eggs.

ERFFER · 04/09/2021 19:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WinTheNight · 04/09/2021 19:42

I couldn't be bothered with the hassle of dating a vegan.

Lol. Just read this out to my partner who eats meat and he says he loves me being vegan as I don’t steal his food off his plate when we go out for dinner like other women. 🤣
I’m sure I have other good points too. Hmm

oakleaffy · 04/09/2021 19:43

Being Vegan seems quite hard work, and I commend those who can do it.
DS has a vegan GF, and it makes you realise exactly what items have animal products in them.
Soldering requires tallow as a flux, so a strict Vegan couldn't technically even have a traditional stained glass window or door in their house.

However, I do know a vegan who owns rocking horses with horse hair {on hide} manes and tails on them..and leather saddlery, which seems a bit odd.

Lessstressedhemum · 04/09/2021 19:44

Take-homeand Win it's a bit rubbish, yes, but I'm used to it. It can be a bit awkward going places but hey ho! It's just the culture in my wee corner of the West of Scotland. This area is renowned for its bacon, it's beef, it's scotch pies and the like and it's cheese.

Topazmumma · 04/09/2021 19:58

@PlanDeRaccordement

No, don’t say anything. I’m sure he knows it’s not vegan or vegetarian and is eating it anyway. You don’t have to be 100% vegan in all things to identify as vegan. And some vegans do occasionally eat nonvegan for health reasons.
Then I’m sorry, that makes you most definitely not a vegan!
SneakyCucumberAction · 04/09/2021 20:02

@troobleflooble

I'm in a new relationship and he is vegan. While I'm not, I understand and appreciate his viewpoint and want to be respectful of his choices so I've become quite thorough at checking labels on things to make sure they are suitable for him.

Was at his place recently and noticed he had something in his fridge I've never tasted before so I picked it up to have a look. Out of habit I checked the label and noticed that it isn't vegan, in fact it's not even vegetarian! I don't think he has realised as, while he isn't militant about it, I'm sure he wouldn't want to eat it if he knew. The jar was half empty so he has definitely been eating it.

I don't want to make him feel bad by pointing it out but if you were vegan would you want to know? Should I say anything?

Vegans are incredibly anal about what they eat. I just don't believe your story. What is the product so we can check ourselves how confusing this meat based one was for him.
MarvellousMonsters · 04/09/2021 20:07

@Dalooah

Considering it's kimchi that on the face of it would be vegan, I'd tell him. I'd want to know if I'd made a dietary requirement clear and was going wrong somewhere
Being vegan isn't a dietary requirement, it's a choice. (Coeliac is a requirement, not a choice)

But I'd tell him.

Snoopsnoggysnog · 04/09/2021 20:08

@FleasInMyKnees

Was it a fatball
😂
Cocolove29 · 04/09/2021 20:11

I do not know any REAL vegans that eat non vegan for health reasons or just because. You are either vegan or you are not. You don’t pick and choose. Not sure what kind of vegans you know. Not real ones I’m sure.

underneaththeash · 04/09/2021 20:14

Ignore it - he'll stop being vegan soon anyway and it won;'t be an issue.

Daffi · 04/09/2021 20:17

I don't believe this post is real, click bait

ChaneySays · 04/09/2021 20:19

@DismantledKing

Was it a pork pie?
😂
Jumik · 04/09/2021 20:23

Yes I’m vegan and I’d want to know if I’d missed an ingredient.

lannistunut · 04/09/2021 20:28

@Tealwarrior

I would say something by way of making it clear that he’s either a vegan or he’s not and if not then it doesn’t need to be taken into consideration going forward.
OP, if you want him to dump you you could approach it like this!
daytripper28 · 04/09/2021 20:31

www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/quick-kimchi

I thought this looked like a nice recipe if anyone is interested.

Leave out the fish sauce if vegan....

Kind2Bkind · 04/09/2021 20:33

I’m a vegan, and I too would prefer it if I was told. I ate at a Thai place for years when I was vegetarian, always ordering the vegetable dishes. When I turned vegan I asked if they had anything vegan but they said that ALL Their dishes contained fish sauce. Needless to say I was mortified to find this out.