Page 4 | Two more years at least in rural village, please tell me how to enjoy it.

Thatsjustwhatithink · 02/09/2021 20:52

@Aprilx

I am struggling to imagine how you can be so trapped or isolated in the UK. I live in a rural location too, a village with 125 residents, no pub or shop, but I can be in London and two other cities within 90 minutes because it is a small country! My work opportunities are not limited because I would expect to leave the village for work anyway.

Yeh I'm thinking this. Pretty much drive an hour or two anywhere in England or Wales and you're in a city...

chopc · 02/09/2021 20:54

Something I don't understand about your situation OP - if you have great friends do you not have a readily available social life? Isn't it the people that make life fun?

And say you live in London, apart from the museums and the free galleries, what other activities can you do on a regular basis that is free and unique to London?

Eating out, clubbing, theater, boat rides and many attractions costs a fair abound of money if you are a big family

icedcoffees · 02/09/2021 21:01

I live in a similar-sounding area to you (but not in a hamlet) and I love it.

I don't think your issue is rural living, your issue is that you picked somewhere TOO rural. Most rural towns have pubs, the odd bar, restaurants etc, even if they're nothing like what you'd get in London.

Living in a hamlet has isolated you as you need to drive to get anywhere (so it limits drinking etc.) and I suspect, if it's anything like here, you need to book taxis well in advance and pay a fortune for it, lol.

Xtraincome · 02/09/2021 21:02

@Guineapigbridge best suggestion yet! There's a fair amount of weed smoking in our village with a mostly elderly population, still get a whiff after 7pm most nights from other houses. Always intrigued to know who smokes it.

Doubledenimrock · 02/09/2021 21:03

I get where you are coming from. Escape before you get too old. I live in a rural village and have seen older people become trapped in their homes with no facilities on the doorstep.

Bryonyshcmyony · 02/09/2021 21:24

You see, I live in a rural village and the old folk all really look out for each other. They bend over backwards to help when inevitably husbands or wives die. I think I'd like to be here in my 80s. But I do get bored, and that's when I get on a train to London.

My aunt used to say you are only bored when you are boring.

TeardropImplodes · 02/09/2021 21:30

In the medium term forget 'normal' holidays- no to the beach, the countryside. Book 4 nights in cities and 'do' everything - eat out, theatre, museums, architectural tours, public transport. People watch and wander round the shops. Exhaust you and the family with city stimulation overload.

We've found a new set of rural friends in the teen years. Offer lifts, host gatherings of the teens, entertain the parents on pick up/drop off. It starts very casual but I've found a lovely quirky bunch this way.

MrsDThomas · 02/09/2021 21:38

@Fubitch
i wamna get pissed and go dancing. I want to wear trendy clothes and feel nice. I want some life.

Wow. Who’d have thought country people dont get pissed or feel nice eh?

MrsDThomas · 02/09/2021 21:39

@Bryonyshcmyony well said. I live in a very rural place. I never get bored.

wonderstuff · 02/09/2021 21:41

I love our village, but it's quite big though, about 4000 population, 4 pubs a couple of cafes and half a dozen shops, we've also got a train station, trains only go once an hour but mean we can go out to town without worrying about driving.

Over lockdown it was great to be able to walk out in scenic countryside, in the past I've done some long distance walks with friends, a good long trek with a pub lunch in the middle is an excellent way to spend a Sunday.

Who would you go out with if you move to town OP, can you not plan a weekend away to scratch that itch? I've always found life better when I've got stuff to look forward to. The hardest part of the pandemic for me was not being able to plan anything fun.

minipie · 02/09/2021 21:43

@waterrat

I am 44 and live in a city and also feel bored and missing fun. It's being a parent and covid and life generally

Same here

Darbs76 · 02/09/2021 21:44

Are you able to get away and leave kids with your DP every few months? You could have some city breaks and use that to find places you’d like to live. That would be fun.

It’s not the same as I don’t live somewhere I hate, I’m in Surrey and been here 20yrs but grew up in North Wales. My plan is to move back, largely so I can purchase a house as buying on a single salary in the SE of England is not easy. I can’t move until kids finish school and my youngest is still only 13.5! I’ve got a deposit too now, so it’s frustrating. But then I think about not living close to London and think do I want that? I think I want to have Wales house prices where I am and for my family & school friends to live here! But ain’t going to happen. It frustrates me that I’m trapped.

Thadhiya · 02/09/2021 21:45

@stepupandbecounted

Do you think I am expecting too much from life? I am 45 nearly 46 and would love to go to a party, a London bar - even a nightclub. I would love to have a girls night on the town or sit on a rooftop bar and drink a cocktail, and wear heels instead of my old green wellies. To visit an art gallery and meet the artists, to see glittering lights.

But none of my friends do this anymore, all choose to stay at home every night and going out is not a thing anymore. Is that normal? Maybe it is me and I am setting unrealistic expectations. Maybe I am going to move and find the same everywhere.

How far is it for you to g o to the city and do this?

I only live in the suburbs, and when I get a yearning for the city, I just go. Arrange a night out and travel in. Bus, tram, train, whatever.

Is it really so far to your nearest hub?

Thadhiya · 02/09/2021 21:46

I also got a new career in tech, so can work from anywhere, meaning you get a great career you can do from anywhere. And if you're only 30-40 mins from the centre, you can head off to your fancy office each morning and mingle.

ViciousJackdaw · 02/09/2021 21:46

[quote MrsDThomas]@Fubitch
i wamna get pissed and go dancing. I want to wear trendy clothes and feel nice. I want some life.

Wow. Who’d have thought country people dont get pissed or feel nice eh?[/quote]
This isn't about you, it's about OP. She's bored shitless and needs a change. Don't take it so personally.

PermanentTemporary · 02/09/2021 21:47

I moved out of a village to a town aged 16 with my parents and it was like the lights went on in my life. I've never wanted to lice in the country again.

Tbh you really don't have to move to Central London. If I were you I'd look at the Saddleworth villages near Oldham or other places around Manchester. There might be a compromise.

leavesthataregreen · 02/09/2021 21:50

You are allowed some weekends away, OP. Why don't you ask your crafting friends if they fancy a weekend in London - you could go to some art galleries for crafty inspiration, have cocktails, dinner, see a show. Then when you come home the sweetness of the local air and the lack of hot, pushy, sweaty people will be balm to your senses. (I also live in a village and long for London)

icedcoffees · 02/09/2021 21:51

Is it really so far to your nearest hub?

Yes - for many people it is.

Our nearest city is either Manchester or Carlisle. One is 3+ hours away and the other at least 90 minutes.

The roads are awful as are the transport links and you'd need to stay overnight.

Luckily I don't care much for cities

Kassalah · 02/09/2021 21:52

In the meantime, can you start saving and planning for some kind of exciting holiday?

WoolyMammoth55 · 02/09/2021 21:56

Hi OP, I've read your posts but not TFT so apologies if I'm repeating...
But TBF I do think a lot of people could do with more glitterball in their lives just now with the Covid year and a half we've all had. Loads of people in cities haven't been dancing/drinking/gallery-ing much of late, and many still aren't for the forseeable.
If I were you I'd book a bunch of city breaks, at least one a month for the next 6 months. Do NYC, do Paris, do London; some with DH and some with your pre-kids girl friends. Buy yourself the nice bras and see tons of culture and drink colourful beverages and dance your socks off :) We all deserve a bit of that frankly.
Then notice how it feels to come home from these trips. Do you feel dread or do you look forward to snuggling down after a long day's travelling? You might find it surprises you and actually you can enjoy the next 2 years as long as you get a bit of partying scheduled in...
OR who knows, you might move to Manhattan! But I think mini-breaks are what you need to add in to the mix right now to get you through the GCSE years :) Good luck!

fourminutestosavetheworld · 02/09/2021 21:56

You do sound very fed up, even accounting for covid and mid-life itchy feet.

But it sounds like you just have the wrong friends surely? There is plenty of fun to be had in a village, if you have friends willing to find it with you. If you moved to a city would you have friends to go clubbing with?

I also think you are remembering city life with rose tinted glasses. Nothing fun about noise, grime, traffic and crime.

But if you are really set on moving back in a couple of years, perhaps you could start to plan that, make regular visits, rent a holiday apartment for lengthy periods, book holidays.

justasking111 · 02/09/2021 22:10

Lived like this for 20 years had a great time for many of those but it palled in the end. DS was 15 when we moved took ages to sell too isolated for many. OH still misses the land and privacy, so do I occasionally but the new home is a doddle to clean, neighbours lovely lots of places to go that are easily reached and friends are closer. No itch to dance, party, but the choice is there

Poppyliveshere · 02/09/2021 22:14

@stepupandbecounted

Moved here when children were very young, and we have loved it up until a year ago. Little kids are now gangly teens that need driving everywhere. The Village is in the middle of nowhere and it is so so quiet here. As in silent.

I work part time, but can't switch to full time as there are NO jobs here.
I am just so bored with the lack of things to do/the countryside and the lack of fun. It is so lacking in fun. I miss having fun so much!

I have some great friends but they are quiet, not dancing types more into crafting, hiking and cooking. It didn't matter so much when we were younger with little kids, but now it is obvious to me that I need a life of my own as well. I can't remember the last time I felt really happy here.

I don't know how I can see this time out without going mad. Please tell me what makes you happy in rural settings? My dc are finishing GCSEs and then I can move, but until then I am stuck here. I don't even know where we would move to if we could. I am feeling really stuck.

Anyone else feeling like this?

I’ve been like this for 18 years, and another 4 to go until youngest finishes A levels. Many reasons why not moving until then (SEN support etc) but it’s been so so hard on me. DH has job that he loves and finds totally fulfilling. Mine is OK, but in part planning for when I’m free of here, I’m just finishing a PhD. Now that’s kept me busy!!

We love in a stunningly beautiful area, with a nice house and garden, but I miss my family, and friends are still rather thin on the ground

Toddlerteaplease · 02/09/2021 22:14

@userxx

I thought the lakes, lovely for a weekend but not sure I could live there full time.

My sister lived in a tourist village in the lakes. Stunning, but I do t know how she did it. She's moved to a market town and it's perfect!

idontlikealdi · 02/09/2021 22:25

Hmm. This is the problem with this kind of place if you have ever lived anywhere else, and even if you haven't. You want amenities and not be a taxi service to your kids.

Christ I live in Surrey on the outskirts of a town. Thank god my kids like horses or I would be ferrying them everywhere all the time.

Rural and small kids works, teens aren't so thankful. I grew up rural, we had a train station with two trains a day on a Saturday.