Two more years at least in rural village, please tell me how to enjoy it.

[stepupandbecounted]

Moved here when children were very young, and we have loved it up until a year ago. Little kids are now gangly teens that need driving everywhere. The Village is in the middle of nowhere and it is so so quiet here. As in silent.

I work part time, but can't switch to full time as there are NO jobs here.
I am just so bored with the lack of things to do/the countryside and the lack of fun. It is so lacking in fun. I miss having fun so much!

I have some great friends but they are quiet, not dancing types more into crafting, hiking and cooking. It didn't matter so much when we were younger with little kids, but now it is obvious to me that I need a life of my own as well. I can't remember the last time I felt really happy here.

I don't know how I can see this time out without going mad. Please tell me what makes you happy in rural settings? My dc are finishing GCSEs and then I can move, but until then I am stuck here. I don't even know where we would move to if we could. I am feeling really stuck.

Anyone else feeling like this?

Two years will fly by, finding a new place to live will take up time too. Visit some towns etc you fancy living in on some of the weekends.

Build a wicker man.

Could you and your dc join in with some rural activities such as farm-running, horse-riding, showing chickens, poly tunnel?

So there isn't really a village community where you could set something up? My village has a pub quiz every week, live music once a week, a cycling club, an outdoor cinema once a month and various classes for exercise and crafts etc. Each of these needed someone to kick it off...

Can you combine leaving the village to take the kids somewhere with an activity or class for yourself?

Ahh, that sounds awful. Yep, map out every place you'd like to live potentially and visit every one of them. Write a list, tick it off.

Or, start smoking pot or day drinking. Tempting.

I don't even know where we would move to if we could. I am feeling really stuck.

Well there's your project for the next two years then! Seriously, I'd start thinking long and hard about where you'll move to. What do you want from the next stage of your life? What sort of place would you be happy living in? Where would offer you job opportunities, together with an affordable home? Do you need to do anything to your home/garden to make it more saleable?

As for ways to be happy in a rural setting - sorry I'm the wrong person for that. I don't mind a week in a rural cottage, but I'm a townie. Living in the county FT would kill me!

I thought this was the dream, and honestly I am broken by it. We have a pub but it is packed full of old men grunting at each other. I could try and set something up, but I am not sure who would even come?!

The idea of more horseriding, country activities makes me shiver. I am sick of it! I don't want to be, but I am so tired of it. Every year the donkey fair with six stalls and they raise a few pence.

I feel hemmed in, claustrophobic and ready to scream (often)

I have drawn up a list of where to go...at the top is NYC!! Somewhere with actual people. Life. A heartbeat. Just joking, but it does need people, art galleries, bars with people in them and not just boarded up.

I feel like I have failed in some way. I thought this was it.

I look at this place, and people fly here from Japan and far flung places to take photos of it. It is idyllic. When I go on holiday and say where we are from, we always get the same response, how lucky we are etc.

So what is wrong with me that I can't see the beauty anymore, I just see vast emptiness. The loneliness when the kids go back to school is unreal. I have loads of friends but it doesn't seem to plug the sheer silence.

I'm feel claustrophobic just reading that and I love donkeys!!

Is it the Lake District? How about start researching where you want to move in 2 years? It takes a 6-9 months to complete a sale so it will fly by quickly.

I look at this place, and people fly here from Japan and far flung places to take photos of it.

Lake District? Peak District? Yorkshire Dales? Highlands?

You need to think practically OP. There are plenty of big cities with people and life, art galleries and bars in them in the UK (assuming that's where you live). Do you have a DP - what do they think? Would a few weekends away in potential new home locations be possible?

I thought the lakes, lovely for a weekend but not sure I could live there full time.

How much is the place and how much is feeling weird about children growing up? It seems that you are a bit depressed too. That could be the village but it might be something else. Does planning a move make you excited?

Prepare for dc to be pissed off keeping them there so long 😆 (speaking as a child of parents who chose to live at the end of a very long, very muddy farm track at the end of a very long, very windy single track road miles from any sort of civilisation except a small village just like you describe which still needed a car journey or pretty long cycle to reach - who then moved to EDINBURGH once I, the youngest of 3, moved out). Edinburgh is a good shout by the way. Lots of culture and variety without the overwhelming size of other larger cities. Plus a stones throw from the beach, hills and even farmland if you're ever feeling wistful.

Do you think I am expecting too much from life? I am 45 nearly 46 and would love to go to a party, a London bar - even a nightclub. I would love to have a girls night on the town or sit on a rooftop bar and drink a cocktail, and wear heels instead of my old green wellies. To visit an art gallery and meet the artists, to see glittering lights.

But none of my friends do this anymore, all choose to stay at home every night and going out is not a thing anymore. Is that normal? Maybe it is me and I am setting unrealistic expectations. Maybe I am going to move and find the same everywhere.

Thank you for your messages I am reading each one.

Was going to suggest outdoor stuff but it seems like you're not interested. Are there any nearby towns which might have some community activities?

Also, are there any things you like about the area?

I don't think I am depressed, but this place is making me FEEL depressed. If I had to grow old here I would be very very depressed!

Could you study online to retrain for a different career when you move elsewhere?

I do like the scenery but I am kind of over even that. I like the fact I can sleep at night due to the silence. It is a nice place, I am not being mugged or robbed on a weekly basis for instance.

Are you me??? This is going to be me!!! Where's the naughty people? The fun people?? They all do hiking, baking and are quite serious. Its very straight laced, jolly hockey sticks.

Yes I am in fact retraining now, which is exciting, but I am just staring down the barrel of another long dark winter here, and I am feeling dread. Serious dread. It is barren here in the winter.

I wamna get pissed and go dancing. I want to wear trendy clothes and feel nice. I want some life.

I live in a pretty rural area and have 4 young kids (9 and under) and we still go out fairly regularly- we have a great group of friends, sometimes we just have drinks at each other’s houses but this often descends into a kitchen disco! Do sometimes go to bars and have cocktails.
I defo don’t think you’re being unreasonable to think there’s more to life!

Are you in a relationship? Do you have to consider your partner’s job?

There’s loads of opportunities to now work remotely - so being rural doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t work more. OK, it doesn’t mean you’ll get more daytime company but you’d be diverted.

I can’t believe you’re in a village/location where there’s nothing at all going on - OK it’s not bright lights big city but there’s usually stuff to do if you look. Where’s your nearest town - what goes on there? What do your teens do for fun?