My husband's nighttime wee

[canichange]

Every night between 3 and 4 am, my husband gets up and goes for a wee in our en-suite. It's a fairy big bedroom and a big bathroom, so it's not like he is 'in the room', but he wakes me up and I can't get back to sleep.

He's been doing it forever, but we have a 4 and 2 year old who wake for the day between 5 and 5:30 and it's exhausting. If I'm lucky enough to doze back off to sleep, it's never long before the DCs are up so I'd only ever manage to grab a few minutes max.

He tries to be quiet but we live in an old house which creaks. I wouldn't mind if it was the odd night here and there, but it's basically every night. My day started before 4am today

He seems to think it's just his body clock that wakes him up and he needs to go for a wee to be able to get back to sleep I told him to stop drinking anything after teatime to see if he can break the habit - like when you are trying to get a toddler dry at night!

So:
YABU - let the poor man have his wee and go back to sleep.
YANBU - he needs to train himself to break the habit.

@jillandhersprite

I think the issue here isn't the weeing - its the fact that there is a problem and he doesn't want to engage with finding a solution together - that its all down to you... The actual mechanics of the problem - whether you are sleeping too lightly or he has an issue with his waterworks is not really the point. The point is he is fine and doesn't give a stuff that you're not - hardly the actions of a loving husband - more of an entitled git...

Exactly this. Much more eloquently put than my comment which would have been “OP, he sounds like an arse”.

Definitely LTB

Has anyone thought about Sleep Apnoea? I'm not a doctor, and would never try to be. A very close friend had this, and it's quite scary. Please, can you investigate sleeping disorders? I've been told that this disorder will wake people, making them think they need a wee, because it makes them wake up, enough. Please, investigate this further. xx

YABU and YANBU. Now I'm a bit older I've started waking up in the middle of the night, desperate for a pee. It can be a good three times a night sometimes! It annoys me quite a bit.

In your case your DH needs to establish a different way of dealing with it. If he can't stop needing a wee at night (I've tried all the restricting liquids etc but the result is that I feel miserable and thirsty for bed instead)
Clear the bedroom and make sure he has a direct route in the dark to the door. Get some WD40 on the hinges and he can go to the family bathroom instead.
When a man pees standing up it is LOUD. (I can hear my neighbour go to the toilet!) Why your husband insists on making such a racket right next to where you sleep is what I don't get. If he's going to do something so loud in the middle of the night then he needs to use a different bathroom.

This is why I dislike en-suites. You either get disturbed when your partner uses it when you're in bed or you get to endure the smell of someone's shite right there into your bedroom (not envy)

It could be a bad habit he's developed. I realized I was walking up to pee but I didn't really need to go. Get him to make sure he has a pee just before bed, and ask him to try turning over and going back to sleep. If he really does need the toilet then he'll get woken up by his bladder again about an hour later...just in time to look after the kids too!

FWIW, YANBU. It would tick me off big time.
Only some older people and those with bladder problems need to urinate in the small hours.
He needs to retrain his nocturnal pee times or see his GP.

bed partners are easily wakened by snoring, fidgeting, weeing. Single beds, separate rooms could solve the problem but kids getting up at that time - bedtime must be too early. Hubby needs prostate checked too and to use main bathroom I hate en suites and listening to folk pee -

I'm genuinely surprised how many people frequently wake in the night to use the bathroom. It would so disruptive to my sleep quality if I had to wake up and go to the bathroom. You have my sympathies OP!

@neverhadanymarblestolose it's bloody horrible being the one needing a pee. I've lost count of the number of times I've visited a bathroom in my dreams and woken up in a panic, close to peeing myself. Doesn't happen every single night but it's not exactly unusual the older we get.

Could be a sign of something more serious, might be worth a trip to the GP

YANBU

My dh does the same too he wakes at some point during the night for the toilet. Sometimes he's only bn asleep an hour or 2. I think it's a bad habit. I go through the night every night very rarely do I wake and need to go to the toilet.

My dh also uses the en-suite and he pulls the door shut doesn't pull the handle down so makes a big clicking noise and wakes me up. Between the 2 kids being up and down all night it winds me up!