To ask my almost 17YO to pay board?

[Icanflyhigh]

DD is 17 end of October. She started an apprenticeship earlier in the summer and earns £14.5k per year.

Apart from buying herself lunch each day (which she doesn't HAVE to do as there is food available to take from home) she has no other outgoings.

I have asked her to contribute £50 per week to the household, for that, she will have all food provided, washing done, all the hot water she can use, lifts to wherever she wants, pretty much whenever she wants them, a lift to and from work each day (we don't live on a bus route) and other usual stuff.

Well she's made me feel like the worst mother in the world for asking.
I've explained that we've lost her child benefit now, and I'm expecting her dad to stop paying maintenance too (not that his £17 a week makes a huge difference to be fair) but our outgoings have remained the same or increased.

On top of that I've asked her to pay her own phone bill. She had a brand new iPhone X in July on the premise that she would pay the bill. We haven't had a penny yet, but its attached to our BT account so if we don't pay it, we screw up our own credit rating.

The board I have asked her for will be put straight towards her driving lessons. I've already bought her provisional driving licence and she has a car waiting for when she has passed her test.

So AIBU for asking?
What would you do if she decides not to pay it? TIA x

The parents brought the child into the world and therefore the parents have a duty of care towards said minor until the age of 18

^ this.

All the coercion in the world won't change our legal and moral obligations to our children.

Great update.

She sounds like a very sensible girl.

The fact that she is prepared to save at all from the beginning of her salaried days bodes so well for her future.

Seeing her money grow is a great incentive.

As our children were growing we encouraged them to bank half of any gifts of money they received.

It all adds up and they are all quite good savers.

The girls have developed a bit of a fashion habit that I need to rein in though😙.

She will never regret having her driving licence and you never know when the skill will suddenly be a useful tool in her working life, young as she is.

Her father thinks you're fleecing all her wages, you think he's stealing her money to go on holiday with.

No red flags here, none at all!

@Rozziie

Her father thinks you're fleecing all her wages, you think he's stealing her money to go on holiday with.

No red flags here, none at all!

@Rozziie ODFOD.

All this duty of care stuff I get, of course, but at some point our kids need to learn to budget. Asking for £50 a week is hardly taking the proverbial. I think it's a parents duty to prepare them for outsidd world not hand everything to them on a plate. Anyway, it seems the OP has taught her DD well so alls well that ends well!

@cittigirl

All this duty of care stuff I get, of course, but at some point our kids need to learn to budget. Asking for £50 a week is hardly taking the proverbial. I think it's a parents duty to prepare them for outsidd world not hand everything to them on a plate. Anyway, it seems the OP has taught her DD well so alls well that ends well!

Thanks @cittigirl.

DD has asked me to sit down with her and talk her through household budgeting, she didn't realise utilities are as expensive as they are, and being honest she has now realised that she is getting a bloody good deal!

I was a bit taken aback at some of the responses on here, especially the ones suggesting I might be reported to social care for asking this of her, and the ones where I was told I was full of scorn and contempt for DD - genuinely don't know how people got this impression!

My DD was exactly the same until she realised rent alone would be more than she paid all in here plus getting her laundry done and many meals made for her!