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AIBU?

To not want a child I haven't met at my wedding?

329 replies

strawberrydonuts · 31/08/2021 07:13

For our wedding next April we have stated quite clearly that we want all our friends and family to bring their children along. It's going to be a child friendly event, we love kids and are having lots of kids entertainment.

However, my cousin has a relatively new boyfriend who I haven't met and he has a daughter around 8 or 9 who I also haven't met. Apparently the girl has ADHD and is not very well behaved. I'm also not that close to my cousin (only ever see her at family gatherings, we have no relationship outside of that, and it's about once a year!)

I sent her an invite for Cousin +1 but she now wants to bring this boyfriend AND his daughter, even though the daughter could easily stay home with her mum. She just wants to come for the holiday as I live quite far away and it will be a family holiday for her (they're renting an Air B&B with a pool etc).

I feel quite bad saying no but feel like I don't want a kid who a) I don't know and b) may be badly behaved?? I'm not anti-ADHD at all, in fact about 6 of the kids coming have ADHD/ autism/ special needs, but the point is we know them and have a relationship with them. AIBU to say no?

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

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aSofaNearYou · 01/09/2021 18:47

@blubberyboo

Yabu

In your invite you specified a plus one not a specific name. Her plus one could have been anyone at all and a stranger at that. Therefore it shouldn’t matter that the girl is a stranger. The only issue is whether you can fit an extra child and I’m sure it won’t be that difficult.

But she is bringing her boyfriend? He is the plus one, the daughter would be a plus two. Allowing plus ones does not in any way suggest you can up that number.
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SukiPook · 03/09/2021 09:03

This has ended up as a story on the Indy, either they've picked up on it, or perhaps the OP was a journalist as they haven't commented again... does this happen a lot on mumsnet then? www.indy100.com/viral/bride-ban-child-wedding-adhd-b1912604

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TractorAndHeadphones · 03/09/2021 09:14

[quote SukiPook]This has ended up as a story on the Indy, either they've picked up on it, or perhaps the OP was a journalist as they haven't commented again... does this happen a lot on mumsnet then? www.indy100.com/viral/bride-ban-child-wedding-adhd-b1912604[/quote]
Loads. It’s like journalists are paid to steal content

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ThePersonFromPorlock · 03/09/2021 09:22

Bloody crap, lazy journalism whether it was picked up or instigated by said journalist. How is it even news? And no opinion or insight is offered. Just a poorly written summary of a fleeting diversion for a few people on a public forum. Yawn.

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