Husband wouldn't pay the bill for his brothers birthday aibu ?

[louisargg]

Me and my husband plus his brother /wife and their parents went out on Saturday night for brother in laws 40 th birthday.
6 of us altogether.
Bill came to £300 and that was food /drinks.
My husbands parents wanted to pay but brother in law insisted (even tho it was his birthday)
I said to husband give him £150 towards this bill as it's his birthday.
He refused so I said give him something at least.
He said no it was paid for and to leave it.

End of the night I gave £40 to sister in law and told her to give £20 each to the two kids.
Husband went mental saying I went behind his back.

Aibu ?
Should I not have done this ?

Glad I'm not in your family... in my family birthday person doesn't pay for a damn thing.

Glad I am not either because in my family we listen to each other and accept other's wishes without bitching 😁

Neither, not either 🤦

@smallgoon

I organise several dinners out with my friends. I don't pay for everyone's meals, ffs some people need to get a grip!

But you could if you wanted to. Like BIL wanted to.

@Aprilx BIL didn't organise the meal

@Annoyedanddissapointed

Glad I'm not in your family... in my family birthday person doesn't pay for a damn thing.

Glad I am not either because in my family we listen to each other and accept other's wishes without bitching 😁

OP hasn't bitched to anyone

OP what you did was perfectly fine. Anyone else is reading far too much into the situation. And your husband should have 'quietly' given his brother some cash away from others and tucked it in a pocket and walked away. No need for huge display or words.

Is there a reason why you think your BIL shouldn’t have made the decision to pay the bill?

The slipping of 40 quid to your SIL was insulting, a sort of “I can’t have your kids missing out on stuff because their dad is foolishly agreeing to pay the bill” finger wag. Definite, ‘wifely having to watch her H fritter money away while she worries how she’s going to feed her babies being rescued by SIL’s generosity’ vibes going on.

I don’t think the above was your intent OP but you were so wrapped up in being right, that you didn’t think or care about the opinions of the others involved.

Your gift to the kids was a completely separate piece of generosity to the one shown to you by your BIL.. and it was to his kids not him directly

Yanbu

And your DH is being controlling to suggest you couldn’t give these kids a gift

@blubberyboo

Your gift to the kids was a completely separate piece of generosity to the one shown to you by your BIL.. and it was to his kids not him directly

Yanbu

And your DH is being controlling to suggest you couldn’t give these kids a gift

It wasn't separate...

He didn't want to accept money for the meal so I gave his 2 kids £20 each

You seem very money oriented.

If your BIL was happy to pay for the meal then I don't see an issue.

Some tips, OP. (from 2:30)
Although the clip missed the giving money to the children part.