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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU discharging myself from hospital

388 replies

Carrottopppp · 30/08/2021 07:43

Sorry if this is long but it's important I tell you every detail to give the full story. Saturday evening I woke from a nap to find myself really sore and swollen in my groin and part of my pubis, overnight it swelled considerably went really red and painful to walk, sit, stand etc, I called OOH gp Sunday morning who got me an urgent appointment at our urgent treatment centre within A&E. App was at 9.30am with an absolutely lovely doctor who left no stone unturned and said I had developed an abscess and it needed draining urgently due to the risk of sepsis and the fact it had literally appeared out of nowhere and had grown 4x4 inches literally overnight. He got me an appointment with emergency surgical ambulatory care for 2.15pm yesterday, I attended the nurse took one look and said "no surgeon on this ward will touch that as it is on your pubis not your groin" she sent me back to urgent care and the doctor I saw that morning took me back to his room had another look then said its definitely a groin abscess but we'll let gynae have a look anyway, he sent me up to the gynae ward, 3 different doctors took a look but it was the most senior surgeon on the ward who said it actually is groin, not his area of expertise and also due to the amount of blood vessels in the area he couldn't touch it, so I waited and he came back and said I had to go back to emergency surgical ambulatory care as its them who deal with these things. So off I went an as soon as I walked in I was met by the same nurse who told me she had spoken to a surgeon up on surgical assessment ward and that they were waiting for me and expecting me and I may be treated as a golden patient I. E doctor has a look at it then books me a time to go back the next day and have it removed so off I went up to the ward.

Now this is where I started losing my rag mentally, met by a nurse on the ward who asks another lady to show me to my bed and she said "ill be with you in a minute" yeah you guessed it, never saw her again. I was shown my bed obs done and that's it never saw anybody again, nobody knew when the doctor was coming to speak to me, nobody could tell me whether or not I could eat or drink by this point I hadn't eaten in 26 hours, Its on my notes that I'm on antibiotics yet nobody asked if I was due any (I was but mine were at home as nobody told me when all this started that I would become an inpatient), I waited hours, I had absolutely no overnight stuff with me, I got frustrated and I went to the nurses station to let them know I'm discharging myself and have someone call me to arrange to go back in when it's convenient. The nurse couldn't even find the doctors number to call and ask permission to sign off the discharge, and with that I left.

So to clarify I'd been in and out of hospital for 12 hours, I was no further forward than knowing I had an abscess, i had 4 doctors, 2 nurses and a receptionist all having a gander at my genitals, I was passed from place to place, I walked in agony the entire length of our hospital 1/2 mile 3 times, nobody could tell me what the hell was happening and all the prodding and poking aggravated the abscess to the point it doubled in size and started spreading down my leg. WIBU, maybe I was but I was frustrated, tired and I hadn't eaten in 28 hours. I'm planning on attending A&E this morning and hopefully try and get somewhere, I'm due back in work tomorrow and need it removing as my job requires me to be on my feet for 8 hours a day and don't want to be walking around in pain.

OP posts:

Guacamole001 · 30/08/2021 07:45

Would it be better to go to a different hospital? If possible that is.

RyanReynoldsHusband · 30/08/2021 07:48

Surely leaving and going back means you’re right where you started? At least you were ‘in the system’ as it were.

SockQueen · 30/08/2021 07:51

YANBU to be exhausted and frustrated by poorly co-ordinated care and no progress after a long time. Women often seem to spend time being bumped between surgeons and gynae, and it sucks to be caught in the middle. Weekends even worse as staffing is at a minimum and everyone is stretched. Can completely understand why you wouldn't want to stay around, but obviously it's not going to make things any better by going home. And YABU to think that even if you get an op today you'll be in work tomorrow. Hope you get seen somehow today and are on the road to recovery soon.

cultkid · 30/08/2021 07:51

Go back to a bigger hospital elsewhere and just start the entire process again

I had this in my armpit and they were adamant I needed surgery then it went down over night.

Have you recently had a Covid vaccine? Report to the yellow card scheme if so

Do you think the anti biotics have helped xxx

Original poster

Carrottopppp · 30/08/2021 07:53

@Guacamole001 our other trust hospital is too far away travel wise

@RyanReynoldsHusband I'll still be in the system, it's on my notes for an urgent removal but it's clearly not that urgent when they are leaving me sat around for hours, nobody knowing what the hell is going off, with it being morning doctors are 10 a penny so I'm hoping I'll see one who can give me a time/day to have it removed, I can't be sat around a hospital in limbo when I have children at home, a job to go to tomorrow etc

OP posts:

LakieLady · 30/08/2021 07:54

That's appalling treatment.

This does need sorting though, abscesses can lead to complications, but at least this time you'll be able to take your meds, some painkillers, a book and something to eat and drink.

And yes, I'd try a different hospital, too, if it's feasible.

TooManyAnimals94 · 30/08/2021 07:54

I said YANBU to feel frustrated and angry but at the same time, have you never been on a hospital ward before? This is how it is in our crappy health service. They get you on a ward which is convenient for them because they know where you are and they can get to you whenever.
There are not enough nurses to actually care for patients, they just have to.move from one crisis to the next and doctors can just waltz on and off wards as they please...I'm sure the nurses were just as annoyed with the doctor as you were.
Also not really sure what you think will be any different you present at A&E..they won't be able to treat you in A&E so you will be admitted, and start the whole merry-go-round again.
So essentially, sorry this happened to you but don't think discharging yourself was the best way to go. Could nobody have brought you some overnight stuff and your meds?

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 30/08/2021 07:54

I haven’t voted.
Yanbu to be annoyed by the care you’ve received and I get why you’ve discharged yourself. But you should get back there. My mum and husband have both had septicaemia and it came on so quick and it my mums case was life threatening. It’s not a case of I’ll go back if I feel worse as she was delirious and incapable of making that decision an hour before she was fine.
My advice would be if it happens again is to find someone on the ward and ask for information on PALs and how you can make an immediate complaint.

Original poster

Carrottopppp · 30/08/2021 07:55

@cultkid I haven't had my vaccine yet, my flu like symptoms have disappeared but it's still swollen, red and painful, no idea if the antibiotics have worked yet

OP posts:

Cabinfever10 · 30/08/2021 07:55

You are at massive risk of sepsis and death. You should have either told the staff that you didn't bring your antibiotics or had someone bring them in and an overnight bag.
Quite frankly you've behaved ridiculously and put yourself at risk and as the abscess will be much more difficult to remove as it grows

RedHelenB · 30/08/2021 07:55

I would have stayed. You're back at square one now.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 30/08/2021 07:56

Why on earth did you leave? Leaving isn't going to get you anywhere. The nurses know you are there and someone would have been with you eventually.Now you are stuck with a massive abcess that is spreading and the next time you see the hospital will be when you are taken there in an ambulance. For goodness sake.

Tataru · 30/08/2021 07:58

I think it was a bit silly to leave. They've told you it needs removed urgently and there's a risk of sepsis so your job might just have to wait for a day or two. I think the going round different places is a bit of a red herring - it's obviously in an awkward place where they need to work out whose expertise is needed to remove it

Are you a single parent? Was there no one to bring you some stuff for overnight?

Original poster

Carrottopppp · 30/08/2021 07:58

I'm hoping by going to A&E that whatever doctor sees me can arrange with the relevant people to book me as a day case, home and work life is far too hectic to be admitted to wards overnight, if im not being told anything then how can I keep my partner and my boss up to date on when I'll be home or whether or not I'll be attending work tomorrow

OP posts:

cultkid · 30/08/2021 07:58

I had this and I lost my fucking mind being told I needed surgery to being framed as a hysterical woman

I had two courses of metronidazol and one of co amoxiclav I was absolutely broken by it all

I would go up now to hospital as doctors have just changed shift and you'll get a fresh perspective

So sorry you're suffering and it sounds like a degrading experience too

Have you got the right pain relief

Don't panic about sepsis unless you're displaying other symptoms of it that's very scary to read when you're exhausted in pain and have been neglected xxx

Daisy95 · 30/08/2021 08:00

I work in theatres, I don't think you realised how emergency theatres work. Just because they've said it's urgent doesn't mean there's not more urgent cases which unfortunately will go before you. Waiting 12 hours is unfortunately no time atall. We have some cases sit on our emergency list for days especially at the weekend/bank holiday as we work at smaller staffer levels.

I agree it's horrible but you should have stayed & should have told them you need antibiotics as you didn't bring them with you.
I would be surprised if a&e gets you any closer to the outcome tbh.

I hope you get sorted soon

Betsythecheshirecat · 30/08/2021 08:00

You need to go back op. The mention of sepsis would frighten me so much. As others have said, it can come on so quickly and can have devastating consequences.

I understand it was annoying being passed from pillar to post, and feeling neglected in hospital, but really it is the place you need to be right now.

Please go back.

Tataru · 30/08/2021 08:01

You just tell your partner/boss that you are being kept in overnight so won't be in the next day and you will update them when you know more it's not an uncommon scenario. And your partner could have brought you your overnight things.

Original poster

Carrottopppp · 30/08/2021 08:01

It was night time by the time I found out I was being admitted, it's not fair on my children being dragged out at night time with my partner to drop stuff off at hospital for me, all turning up at hospital would have done is panicked my children wondering why mummy is in hospital and whether or not I'm coming home

OP posts:

BaconAvocado · 30/08/2021 08:03

No one wants to be in hospital or miss work etc but sometimes you have to go with the system and get yourself better. It can mean a lot of sitting around and being moved, annoying I know. Take your antibiotics with you and make sure you keep getting their attention if you need to.

Jigsawtrain · 30/08/2021 08:03

I understand your frustration but you will be at the beginning of the system. Yes it will be on your notes but they will have to find you a bed which may take hours. If it’s BH where you are you’re very unlikely to have it done today now. The urgent list will most likely be booked until mid afternoon and unless it’s imminently life threatening you’ll probably be left until tomorrow when there’s more staff, more theatres and so more room on lists.

Have you not read about the NHS staff shortages? Surely this wasn’t a surprise? The only only thing that surprised me reading your post is that they sent you to different departments, usually one of the specialists would look at you in A&E or SAU.

itsgettingwierd · 30/08/2021 08:03

I've had an abscess like this that keeps filling for 6 weeks now.

1x co amoxiclav

2x flucloxicillen

Twice weekly visits to a nurse for dressing until one was off sick and another on AL and I was told to wait 10 days.

Just before mine flares my resting HR increases by 10bpm, I'm very tired and feel quite unwell.

I've been told it has to flare and drain numerous times before I'll even be accepted for consideration of drainage by the hospital.

Although mine doesn't sound as bad as yours. It's about 5x2 cm

ImFree2doasiwant · 30/08/2021 08:03

It's frustrating yes, but as a pp said, not unusual. Yabu for leaving though.

BaconAvocado · 30/08/2021 08:05

@Carrottopppp

Yes it is annoying but they have your partner to look after them. If it's that urgent it's not really a thing you can schedule, it should be the priority for you to sort right now.

ninaibs · 30/08/2021 08:06

@Carrottopppp

The A&E staff cannot book your surgery, they will refer you to the surgical team and you'll go back round and sit in the surgical area for the surgeons to plan this... back to square 1.

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