WIBU discharging myself from hospital

[Carrottopppp]

Sorry if this is long but it's important I tell you every detail to give the full story. Saturday evening I woke from a nap to find myself really sore and swollen in my groin and part of my pubis, overnight it swelled considerably went really red and painful to walk, sit, stand etc, I called OOH gp Sunday morning who got me an urgent appointment at our urgent treatment centre within A&E. App was at 9.30am with an absolutely lovely doctor who left no stone unturned and said I had developed an abscess and it needed draining urgently due to the risk of sepsis and the fact it had literally appeared out of nowhere and had grown 4x4 inches literally overnight. He got me an appointment with emergency surgical ambulatory care for 2.15pm yesterday, I attended the nurse took one look and said "no surgeon on this ward will touch that as it is on your pubis not your groin" she sent me back to urgent care and the doctor I saw that morning took me back to his room had another look then said its definitely a groin abscess but we'll let gynae have a look anyway, he sent me up to the gynae ward, 3 different doctors took a look but it was the most senior surgeon on the ward who said it actually is groin, not his area of expertise and also due to the amount of blood vessels in the area he couldn't touch it, so I waited and he came back and said I had to go back to emergency surgical ambulatory care as its them who deal with these things. So off I went an as soon as I walked in I was met by the same nurse who told me she had spoken to a surgeon up on surgical assessment ward and that they were waiting for me and expecting me and I may be treated as a golden patient I. E doctor has a look at it then books me a time to go back the next day and have it removed so off I went up to the ward.

Now this is where I started losing my rag mentally, met by a nurse on the ward who asks another lady to show me to my bed and she said "ill be with you in a minute" yeah you guessed it, never saw her again. I was shown my bed obs done and that's it never saw anybody again, nobody knew when the doctor was coming to speak to me, nobody could tell me whether or not I could eat or drink by this point I hadn't eaten in 26 hours, Its on my notes that I'm on antibiotics yet nobody asked if I was due any (I was but mine were at home as nobody told me when all this started that I would become an inpatient), I waited hours, I had absolutely no overnight stuff with me, I got frustrated and I went to the nurses station to let them know I'm discharging myself and have someone call me to arrange to go back in when it's convenient. The nurse couldn't even find the doctors number to call and ask permission to sign off the discharge, and with that I left.

So to clarify I'd been in and out of hospital for 12 hours, I was no further forward than knowing I had an abscess, i had 4 doctors, 2 nurses and a receptionist all having a gander at my genitals, I was passed from place to place, I walked in agony the entire length of our hospital 1/2 mile 3 times, nobody could tell me what the hell was happening and all the prodding and poking aggravated the abscess to the point it doubled in size and started spreading down my leg. WIBU, maybe I was but I was frustrated, tired and I hadn't eaten in 28 hours. I'm planning on attending A&E this morning and hopefully try and get somewhere, I'm due back in work tomorrow and need it removing as my job requires me to be on my feet for 8 hours a day and don't want to be walking around in pain.

I'm not being funny but if that was me, I'd be telling my boss sorry but I'm not coming in tomorrow.

@Carrottopppp

Regards to the receptions the doctor in urgent care brought her in as a chaperone, she popped her head around the curtain how much she saw I'm not sure of.

@hashbrownsandwich there's no moaning here if it gets worse I knew the risks of leaving, not being funny but if a nurse can leave an elderly lady 9 hours asking for pain medication then I really don't think she's going to give 2 f's that I've suddenly developed sepsis overnight. I know what to look out for and I'm only 10 minutes from my hospital by car

Oh for god sake op. They would have taken sepsis seriously.

Look the only person you are harming here is yourself.

Why aren't you back on your way to hospital?

I had sepsis, I almost died. My organs started failing because if it.

Please take it seriously

With my antibiotics I can't eat an hour before or 2 hours after, when I left hospital I knew I was past due them so couldn't eat and when I got home and took them it was late at night I was counting down the 2 hours until I could eat but I fell asleep on the sofa before my 2 hours was up, I woke in the early hours went to bed, I took todays at 7am so I can't eat until 9am but if I'm going back to hospital then eating when my 2 hours is up will delay surgery further as I have to be nil by mouth for so long until I can get back to hospital and find out a rough time it will be happening it's best to just not eat

And I would take stories from elderly ladies saying they’ve been left 9 hours asking for pain meds with a pinch of salt. There is likely to be more to that story.

Maybe she asked once and the nurse forgot but the lady didn’t ask again….not great but nurses are humans. Maybe she’s had all the pain meds she’s prescribed for that day and can’t safely be given anymore. Maybe a dr is needed to come and do a prescription and hasn’t had chance to come……possible but unlikely as a hcsw can sometimes be sent with the script to the dr if the dr isnt free to come….not ideal and I guess some hospitals may have cracked down on that.

But any of these scenarios does not mean that the nurse “is unlikely to give two fucks” if you get sepsis in the night. That’s a major leap.

In the circumstances I would just eat at the same time as the abx, it’s not going to kill you.

@Carrottopppp

With my antibiotics I can't eat an hour before or 2 hours after, when I left hospital I knew I was past due them so couldn't eat and when I got home and took them it was late at night I was counting down the 2 hours until I could eat but I fell asleep on the sofa before my 2 hours was up, I woke in the early hours went to bed, I took todays at 7am so I can't eat until 9am but if I'm going back to hospital then eating when my 2 hours is up will delay surgery further as I have to be nil by mouth for so long until I can get back to hospital and find out a rough time it will be happening it's best to just not eat

You won't be having any surgery while you are still at home doing nothing.

@Carrottopppp

I'm still in my probationary period at work and have already had a day off due to carpal tunnel so I really don't want to be taking any more time off. I knew before I had discharged myself that I wasn't doing the right thing but I was tired, worrying about the children my job, the fact I had nothing with me, I hadn't eaten in 28 hours, the last time I went that long without food I was admitted to hospital as I nearly put myself in a coma and didn't want to risk it again and nobody would let me eat or drink until the doctor had been round, I hate hospitals, even after having a baby I get myself cleaned up let the baby be checked by the midwives and that's it I try discharging myself, I'm basically forced to stay for at least 6 hours but it's sends my anxiety through the roof and I hate that feeling

You will have all the time off work you like if you are dead of sepsis

Get yourself up to the hospital, the sooner you're there, the sooner you'll be sorted, good luck!

Just a thought - is it worth phoning the ward you were on to see if you can go straight back there?

So your concerned enough to follow the antibiotic box to the t but not to follow the medical advice to be in hospital

Have you left for the hospital yet? You need to get back there

@Carrottopppp

I do know I'll be right back where I started and I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'll most likely be kept in but I'm also right back where I started in regards to not eating, I still haven't eaten and most likely can't from now so by the time I do get my surgery I'm probably looking at a minimum of 2 days without food or drink, even if I had stayed last night I'd still be sat waiting in hospital with no food or drink, surely that's wrong

Have something to eat for God's sake. Take your antibiotics and go back to hospital. It's ridiculous that you left.

You seem to be under some illusion that an NHS hospital is like a hotel….. I think watching American Hospital Dramas has given lots of people false ideas on what NHS are like. If you want to be serviced by the nurses you need to pay up for private healthcare.

If you get admitted on a BH weekend it’s because you NEED to be there, not for any other spurious reason….

If you are going to A&E for any reason that is not by ambulance (you could do this if at home waiting for an ambulance) - pack snacks, a bag of all medications you are on, nightie and change of clothes, phone charger and books. I have done this several times with both kids because if I’m going to A&E it’s generally quite bad and we are going to be there a long time/admitted.

Sort out a bag of what you need then get back to hospital and accept the treatment at the pace at which the NHS can afford to give you and be glad you are not one of those whose are straight to surgery life of death in the balance people and that your surgery has time to be planned!

Eat something and go to the hospital. The surgeons will have already done their morning round so you won't be on anybody's list for today, someone might be bumped for you if you become an emergency case.

Take everything you need and call in sick with work for at least the next 2/3 days.

@TheUndoingProject

You’re being ridiculous. You need to prioritise your own health over you husband and boss’s convenience. And being seen as an emergency doesn’t mean you get operated on instantaneously. I think all you’ve achieved is wasted a lot of professionals time and delayed your own treatment further.

This 100%

You are not being unreasonable to be upset, it sounds like you were not treated well, but that is just generally what happens on overstretched hospital wards.

You were being massively unreasonable to discharge yourself. First, you have a medical problem that requires medical care so doing nothing is not an option. Second, you say the abscess was spreading so you are aware your condition is deteriorating. Third, you’ll now be back to the back of the crew.

I’m sure it is inconvenient for your family that you will be in hospital and I’m sure your work would like certainty about when you will be there but this is a medical emergency- it will be uncertain and inconvenient. The more you waste time discharging yourself in a grump (no matter how justified the grump) the longer the uncertainty and inconvenience, not to mention danger, will continue. It’s really childish to stomp off like that in the circumstances you describe.

I was on the 'emergency surgery' list when they discovered I had an ectopic pregnancy and the baby and tube needed removing when my HCG was over 11,000.
However, I was told that children and car crashes would be above me and I waited about 8 hours for my surgery. I was very impressed with the process. Never once did I think about leaving.

I'm sorry you've found your experience so stressful, OP. I do hope you're getting yourself back there quick smart this morning - it's not so much that you need the surgery so you're comfortable at work, it's just that you need the surgery!

I would try to reframe the experience so far in your mind though. Yours is evidently quite a complex case (the two areas in question are obviously next to each other, and quite difficult to see clearly if swollen, and it's not a cut and dried decision like, "Is this an apple or an orange?" and it took a very senior surgeon to make the final call). Most of the inconvenience of yesterday is a result of the complex nature of your presentation, not any fault of the hospital staff (although, still very stressful for you ).

I'd try to look at it this way - on a Sunday, a bank holiday Sunday, you saw multiple medical professionals within the space of a few hours and a bed was found for you on a ward with surgery planned shortly. This is fantastic! I don't find it surprising that the nurse was unable to call the doctor late on a Sunday night to ask for you to be discharged, don't doctors normally do discharge notes as part of their ward rounds? After labour and delivery (baby out that evening but needed overnight obs) I had to wait until the following morning for the senior midwife to start her shift before I could be discharged. On a Sunday night there will be a doctor on call for emergencies and so on, they won't just be hanging around the hospital doing paperwork. It's not good that you were just left in bed so I would have approached the nurses station but more to point out that I'd been left, no water, antibiotics etc. (that bit is a failure of care but it's the only one that I can see? The other issues are a direct result of your condition, not anything being done incorrectly by the hospital teams - although very frustrating for you nonetheless) but what's done is done now. You've probably lost a day but hopefully that won't matter too much. Hopefully you're now packing a bag to go back in with/already on your way and they can try to fit you in ASAP (but again, I don't think A&E can book a surgery, they can only refer to the relevant department so I would imagine best case scenario you'll end up back on the ward again today).

I wouldn't expect to be fit for work tomorrow regardless of when you get your surgery done, but nor would I worry about that during a probationary period - you're having urgent medical/surgical care in hospital, not slacking off. Your partner will just have to cope with the children because you are unwell and he is their parent, no one wants these things to happen but unfortunately occasionally they do and he will just have to pull up his socks and get on with it.

I really hope today goes smoothly for you and you can have your surgery soon. Keep in mind that it's now bank holiday Monday so there will be skeleton staff on today and they will be getting to you as quickly as they possibly can but that may still mean quite a lot of waiting, simply because there is a limit on how quickly they can get through the patient list. Best of luck.

I'm currently in the process of packing some stuff, and I'm following the antibiotic to a T as they are my only protection until I can get this thing removed, I just don't understand why I need to be admitted and why it needs to be under a general, I'm having my carpal tunnel cut under a local so why can't I be drained with a local, I have a huge fear of general anesthetic surgery. I had an abscess on the back of my throat when I was 14 it about closed my throat up yet I was just given antibiotics and sent in my way, it burst itself after a week and that was it

YABU

I know of someone who discharged himself , then felt really ill ( was sepsis ) and went back in , but it was too late , he died aged 60.

Work can wait , get your husband( friends / other relatives ) to sort the children ,
Not great treatment by the hospital but you are better there than at home

I can understand your frustration but I do think you've been really silly. You should have stayed and been persistent rather than walking out. Especially as you had flu type symptoms.

It's not ok that you were left for so long without medication etc but you were still in the right place to be seen and to have urgent care if you suddenly became very unwell.

I've been there with an abscess and it's really dangerous.

I also think you need to understand what the aftercare might be if you have a large abscess as this isn't going to be surgery and then you're done.

You may need to be seen daily at the surgery to have the wound packed and dressed because it needs to heal from the bottom of the wound up. In some cases, this is for several weeks and even months depending on the size and how it heals. Around the groin and anus it's difficult as it's harder to keep it clean and dry.

You might not be able to have a bath for a while and will possibly come out on strong antibiotics.

I'm not saying this to make you feel worse but you need to manage your expectations around work etc Make sure you ask lots of questions about aftercare as the surgeons can be a bit dismissive and leave it for the district/practice nurses to explain.
If you do need packing and dressing they need to do this before you leave and try to get them to discharge you with some stuff like dressings.

Because the medical professionals thought you needed to be admitted. Because the medical professionals decided the best course of treatment.

Do you really think the admit people and perform surgery for fun? “Oh it’s a bank holiday weekend, we are super stretched but hey let’s take up a bed just to piss the patient off”

I'm sorry you've been feeling so dreadful.

It IS frustrating & scary when they give you the impression of not knowing what's going on, or who is going to treat you etc.

You know you did the wrong thing discharging yourself. At least while you were there you had the safety of being in hospital if it had got worse, it really doesn't matter what ward bed you were in, if the sepsis had taken hold, you'd have been cared for.

Ring the ward, and ask if you can re admit yourself. If not, just get back there ASAP, wear comfy clothes, get a wheelchair. Explain the situation & be prepared to wait, take water, phone, charger, antibiotics and clean pants.

You need to accept that waiting is part of the process & make yourself as comfortable as you can, to do that.

Don't walk around the hospital, just explain that you can't and you will ne taken by wheelchair.

Is your DP your kids Dad? If so why are you worrying about them? Even if he's not really.

I know you have anxiety & a meeting job, but it is what it is, you need to go back with a different attitude

Best of luck gif getting it sorted 💐