“Awww aren’t they cute”

[CelticFairy]

Said about a group of ten year old girls playing football. This mum said ‘awww aren’t they just so cute in their football kit’ the conversation went on with another three mums agreeing and another saying ‘her dad always tells me how good she is, I don’t know anything I just think she’s so cute in her kit’ this made me irrationally angry and I had to say something so I simply said ‘would you say the same about the boys team or your sons’ the answer was a resounding no but one mum then pulled me aside and said ‘see this is why the other mums don’t like you’.

I’m learning to be okay with them not liking me because I think they are idiots!

But surely this is not how we speak about girls playing sport, they had been running about a training hard and are great footballers.

AIBU that this is one of the reasons girls and women’s sport doesn’t get taken seriously.

Maybe she would say the same about boys. You may find that inane but telling her so will not win you friends.

Absolutely agree. We need to stop judging boys by what they do but girls by how they look.

@Palavah she instantly agreed she wouldn’t say that about her sons.

I'd probably say the same about 10yo boys in their smart kit.

Parents are allowed to find their children cute. You sound quite difficult to get along with if you're questioning why they find their kids cute and if they'd think boys were cute. They're kids. Kids are cute. They're just running about as kids do, not solving world hunger.

You are right OP and that would annoy me too.

If you don’t mind being unlikeable, what’s the issue?

But, be honest - did you invent the line about the mum saying ‘I don’t know anything, I just think she looks cute’ because it makes your story sound more exciting and justifies your behaviour better than you simply laying into someone for thinking their kid is cute?

Because truly I can’t imagine anyone actually saying this, and I would be highly unsurprised if it wasn’t actually invented by you to add colour and get everyone frothing about silly women not being good feminists.

Big overreaction if you ask me 🤷🏼‍♀️

My Gran always used to say you'd slide a lot further on treacle than turds. (Disclaimer: her knowledge of physics may have been wanting).

If your objective is the change minds you need a different tactic. Using a form of telling off or shame is the one least likely to change the other party's mind.

Perhaps something along the lines of how great they are playing. How you love to see anyone engaged in team sport because you think it helps built critical skills. How they'll be playing for England (inset country of your choice here) one day. Bring a different dimension to the talk other than how they look.

If your objective is simply to tell off or shame then crack on.

Yes, that is bloody depressing.
It made me laugh out loud that someone ‘helpfully’ took you aside to tell you where you were going wrong .

Interesting you had to strongly get it in there they wouldn’t say that about boys, because clearly you knew that’s what the answers would be,

They are allowed to find their own kids cute, they likely would say it about boys. They are a bunch of ten year olds playing football, not Man U limbering up,

Try not taking offence at everything and acting superior and calling others idiots. It’s good for the soul.

I look at my son (he's a teenager) and think he's cute sometimes. Think you were a bit OTT.

Why does it matter if they made a comment about their child and friends. Don't let other people's opinions get to you ffs! Always been aggressive over stupid comments that don't actually concern you? 🙄

I think you're trying a bit too hard to be offended and cool. It's just kids playing and parents making small talk 🤷🏽‍♀️

We always talk about how cute our boys team look in their kits.

[quote CelticFairy]@Palavah she instantly agreed she wouldn’t say that about her sons.[/quote]
Ok, but you're not helping yourself to win the battle here by pointing this out to her angrily.

At least they've evolved enough to encourage their girls to play football. Many parents don't even try that.

@BaringasMare

If you don’t mind being unlikeable, what’s the issue?

But, be honest - did you invent the line about the mum saying ‘I don’t know anything, I just think she looks cute’ because it makes your story sound more exciting and justifies your behaviour better than you simply laying into someone for thinking their kid is cute?

Because truly I can’t imagine anyone actually saying this, and I would be highly unsurprised if it wasn’t actually invented by you to add colour and get everyone frothing about silly women not being good feminists.

Yup. And the someone taking her aside, and them claiming they would never say their son was cute.

Is it all a bit exaggerated for the net op? Bit of a slow morning. Is the reality someone said they look cute, the convo moved on ans that’s it?

I think my son and his sports team look cute and smart when in their kits!

You are over thinking the comment.
10 year old DC are still DC and therefore sometimes cute.
My DS is cute in his football gear nearly 7.
You sound like hard work.

Valuing girls only for how 'cute' they look is inane. If they are always that shallow and you're not then you're probably never going to be able to tolerate them for long. If you don't care if they like you then it doesn't matter what you say - but if they just think you're rude you probably won't change their viewpoint (if that's what you want to do). I think women's sport doesn't get taken seriously because it's not taken seriously by men and they are the ones that generally call the shots/hold the high positions.

I had to say something

You didn't have to say something though, did you?

She thought her daughter looked cute, and you took exception to this.

Also what @BaringasMare said. Half of what you said is rubbish to make your bizarre reaction seem appropriate.

My friend bought my son a football kit yesterday and the first thing we said when he put it on was how cute he looked. I think you must have sounded like a complete dick coming out with that.

‘see this is why the other mums don’t like you’.
You made a totally valid point IMO!

Good for you! I think I probably said my boys looked cute in their little kits when they were tiny, but not at 10, and I'm sure the girls would have preferred positive comments about their playing than how 'cute' they looked!

I don't understand why people can't just leave each other be?

Who cares if they think they Daughters look cute but wouldn't say it about boys. They can say whatever they like. They are allowed their own opinion.

Everyone is trying to be really opinionated and offended by everything these days. I can't even believe people even have the time to be offended by something like this. I haven't got time to take a piss let alone care what other people say.