“Awww aren’t they cute”

[CelticFairy]

Said about a group of ten year old girls playing football. This mum said ‘awww aren’t they just so cute in their football kit’ the conversation went on with another three mums agreeing and another saying ‘her dad always tells me how good she is, I don’t know anything I just think she’s so cute in her kit’ this made me irrationally angry and I had to say something so I simply said ‘would you say the same about the boys team or your sons’ the answer was a resounding no but one mum then pulled me aside and said ‘see this is why the other mums don’t like you’.

I’m learning to be okay with them not liking me because I think they are idiots!

But surely this is not how we speak about girls playing sport, they had been running about a training hard and are great footballers.

AIBU that this is one of the reasons girls and women’s sport doesn’t get taken seriously.

Thinking about it though, I might have (more subtly) complimented their speed and strength to see if that gets the point across.

Sorry I think the same about my son when I see him in his football kit and he has been a brilliant footballer since he was 4 and he is now 14. We think our children are cute when they do new things or exciting things. We remember how they were as babies and how big and capable they are now. You read this comment as the mum being a dope ‘her dad always tells me how good she is, I don’t know anything I just think she’s so cute in her kit’ - I read it as a stealth boast that her daughter is good at football but the mum has tried to cover up about the boast by saying she doesn't know much about football...So I read it as the mum is very proud of her daughter's footballing abilities.

YANBU to be irritated, given they said they wouldn't comment that way on boys.
But it's probably more constructive to steer the conversation to skill and how good it is for girls to be involved in sport rather than criticising the other mums' comments.

She was pulling them up for making totally inappropriate comments about girls sport.

Well done OP. They sound like a bunch of absolute morons.

Nobody needed 'pulling up' for goodness sake! Everything in life doesn't need to be so serious. 🙄

[quote CelticFairy]@Palavah she instantly agreed she wouldn’t say that about her sons.[/quote]
Did she really? 🤔

Both my ds play rugby, I don't understand the game much but I do say "aww they look so cute in their kits". I dunno, I agree girls should play sports and it shouldn't be seen as a big deal it should be the norm but maybe the mum just thought they looked cute.

I still think, and possibly say out loud, that my teenage boys are cute. I even say their whole groups of friends are cute, lovely, sweet etc.

And see, the OP has god just what she wanted from this thread. People falling over themselves to point out that she’s standing up for equality against the silly moronic other mothers. Pat on the back for OP - a better mum and a better feminist than those stupid other women!

except it’s all clearly bollocks, isn’t it

Fortunately for girls and women the world over some of us do have the time and energy to stand up for equality if the sexes.

So mums need to say their sons are cute in their kits, too?

Honestly, this is not about sex-based inequality.

I get your point, but would have made it a different way, for example agreeing that they look cute, and adding "and look how athletic/fast/skillful etc they are." I always balance compliments based on looks with praise about what they are actually doing

I could absolutely have this conversation with my friends.

But I would probably say something like
"They do! I wonder if we'd all be saying it if they were boys though?"

(Fwiw I do say this about my boys, they look adorable in their matching kit and I tell them that as well )

@Waspsarearseholes

Parents are allowed to find their children cute. You sound quite difficult to get along with if you're questioning why they find their kids cute and if they'd think boys were cute. They're kids. Kids are cute. They're just running about as kids do, not solving world hunger.

Deliberately missing the point, there.

They probably do look frigging cute in their kits, they’re 10 year old kids!
Bleeding hell 🙄

@CelticFairy

Said about a group of ten year old girls playing football. This mum said ‘awww aren’t they just so cute in their football kit’ the conversation went on with another three mums agreeing and another saying ‘her dad always tells me how good she is, I don’t know anything I just think she’s so cute in her kit’ this made me irrationally angry and I had to say something so I simply said ‘would you say the same about the boys team or your sons’ the answer was a resounding no but one mum then pulled me aside and said ‘see this is why the other mums don’t like you’.

I’m learning to be okay with them not liking me because I think they are idiots!

But surely this is not how we speak about girls playing sport, they had been running about a training hard and are great footballers.

AIBU that this is one of the reasons girls and women’s sport doesn’t get taken seriously.

Yeah you definitely said that and they definitely responded like that.

I think you're being ridiculous. I wouldn't call 10 year old girls cute, but I'd call 4 year olds playing football cute, regardless of what sex they are. Just because these women used it for a bunch of 10 year olds, doesn't make it wrong, and it's not wrong that they wouldn't use it for older boys either. Most girls would be happy to be called cute, most boys wouldn't.

but one mum then pulled me aside and said ‘see this is why the other mums don’t like you’.

Really? She pulled you aside? How weird. I would have thought they'd just not like you privately rather than bother telling you they don't like you.

@SleepyMathematician

Absolutely agree. We need to stop judging boys by what they do but girls by how they look.

I constantly think my son is cute and say it all the time

Kids in football kits do look cute.

@Youarestillintherunning

I get your point, but would have made it a different way, for example agreeing that they look cute, and adding "and look how athletic/fast/skillful etc they are." I always balance compliments based on looks with praise about what they are actually doing

Yes I would have done this.

But I would probably say something like
"They do! I wonder if we'd all be saying it if they were boys though?"

(Fwiw I do say this about my boys, they look adorable in their matching kit and I tell them that as well )
So why would you ask the bloody question in the first place? That exchange sounds completely idiotic.

I used to say it about my son and his mates at that age 🤷‍♀️

I say this about my boys in their kits (there are boys and girls in the team, they all look cute).
Surely parents can comment if their kids are cute as well as cheer them on through the match.