“Awww aren’t they cute”

[CelticFairy]

Said about a group of ten year old girls playing football. This mum said ‘awww aren’t they just so cute in their football kit’ the conversation went on with another three mums agreeing and another saying ‘her dad always tells me how good she is, I don’t know anything I just think she’s so cute in her kit’ this made me irrationally angry and I had to say something so I simply said ‘would you say the same about the boys team or your sons’ the answer was a resounding no but one mum then pulled me aside and said ‘see this is why the other mums don’t like you’.

I’m learning to be okay with them not liking me because I think they are idiots!

But surely this is not how we speak about girls playing sport, they had been running about a training hard and are great footballers.

AIBU that this is one of the reasons girls and women’s sport doesn’t get taken seriously.

Is some Olympic commentary sexist? www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-37037050

Article ^

@MzHz

Is some Olympic commentary sexist? www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-37037050

Article ^

Does my head in when they interview them about their relationships when they've just won a medal.

@supermoonrising

“I don’t know anything about football but I think she looks cute in her kit!”

How terrible! Someone needs to stop this oppression of girls at school where they are outperforming boys in every subject and the gap is widening every year.

Telling them it's not enough to be skilled you have to look good ? That is oppression in action

No matter how the girls perform , if they want positive supportive feedback then they need to submit to being pretty

You should be glad they don't like you.

I’d not have said anything probably @CelticFairy but I respect that you did

I was inwardly apoplectic once overhearing how some yummy mummy was saying how daddy’s money pays all the boring things, but mummy’s money pays for all the fun stuff

As a very hard up single parent it really upset me, it shows such a bad gender split and such a bad example for children IMO.

@BaringasMare sadly not made up slightly shortened as she explained the things the dad said she was good at and spent more time saying why she didn’t care, just thought it was cute’

You should be glad they don't like you.

Agreed, i would be too.

Actually my ds picked up on the daddy/mummy money comment and when we were in the carpark said something like “you do 2 people’s jobs mum”

I love that boy 😍🥰

@DDIJ

I think a lot of the small talk amongst parents at these types of occasions and at the school gates is meaningless silence-filling. They probably didn't think they looked cute in their kits because shiny sports fabric isn't really what most people think of as cute. They were just making random chit chat to avoid being silent. Those who don't join in with the mindless chatter risk being thought of as stand-offish and unfriendly so people just tend to babble when they are thrown into these situations with people they otherwise wouldn't choose to meet.

So agree with this, I do think DD looks cute in her football kit but when I talk to her about it it’s always about her effort, technique, determination etc… not how she looks.

The cutest sight ever is a team of 10 year old boys in their cricket whites.

I’m one of those people who builds muscle by just looking at exercise

I’m a swimmer now so it’s all over

Having grown up with the images of women who were stuck thin, fragile and waif like, I always felt self conscious and certainly didn’t do sports I enjoyed because I didn’t want to build any more muscle

We should have comments on performance not on appearance or attire.

Or indeed FFS, who we’re in a relationship with.

To be honest it is very hard to tell without hearing tone.

Mostly though parents who feel the need to try to show up other parents for not saying or thinking the right way are predominantly faux activists. There are 100 ways to truly try to change perspectives without taking the opportunity to try to embarrass others.

You genuinely have no idea. My dsis could come across very looks orientated and "silly" when her DC were small. She was actually incredibly socially anxious and being emotionally abused. She actually has worked hard to bring her DC up recognising their worth as people not how they look. All you would have done in that situation was try to embarrass another parent to attempt to appear edgy and politically active.

True change is about parenting your own way, challenging when appropriate (( this was not it) and not when you need some validation hit.

If you actually give a shit about women try not trying to belittle them in public for your own internal validation. That's the opposite if changing female perspective.

* Parents are allowed to find their children cute. You sound quite difficult to get along with if you're questioning why they find their kids cute and if they'd think boys were cute. They're kids. Kids are cute.*

^This.

@Nietzschethehiker

I agree with what you said - especially this bit
**Mostly though parents who feel the need to try to show up other parents for not saying or thinking the right way are predominantly faux activists. There are 100 ways to truly try to change perspectives without taking the opportunity to try to embarrass others.

I think it's hard to say really - i know nothing about football at all so may well say my kid looks cute in their strip 🤷. It doesn't mean I don't value women's sports.
Generally I do try and speak up and challenge gender stereotypes but I don't generally want to humiliate people in public so I wouldn't make it a personal attack. In this situation I'd probably just add on that I thought the girls were playing well and it's good to see them taking an interest in sport.

Benjispruce5
I’d have thought it but not said it like you did. I’d have said something like ‘ Now come on, let’s not judge our girls on their appearance, it’s their football skills on show today.’ with a laugh but making my point in a gentle way.
I think this superior, patronising comment is much more annoying than the OP's!
I bet you do head tilts and little tinkley laughs as well 🤢

My daughter who is 10 has always been very sporty and I praise her all the time on her determined attitude and skills. I might also say she's very cute occasionally because she's my daughter and I think she is!
Exactly the same goes for my 9yr old son who I find super cute!

@ManifestDestinee

I’d have thought it but not said it like you did. I’d have said something like ‘ Now come on, let’s not judge our girls on their appearance, it’s their football skills on show today.’ with a laugh but making my point in a gentle way

I would have told you to go fuck yourself.

😂😂😂

Maybe they looked cute? I think my sons look so cute in their kits! Yabu.

@ittakes2

Sorry I think the same about my son when I see him in his football kit and he has been a brilliant footballer since he was 4 and he is now 14. We think our children are cute when they do new things or exciting things. We remember how they were as babies and how big and capable they are now. You read this comment as the mum being a dope ‘her dad always tells me how good she is, I don’t know anything I just think she’s so cute in her kit’ - I read it as a stealth boast that her daughter is good at football but the mum has tried to cover up about the boast by saying she doesn't know much about football...So I read it as the mum is very proud of her daughter's footballing abilities.

Totally this. She wants to say "she's good", but knows that is boasting. so says it as a passing on comment rather than her opinion.

My ds is cute in football kit too (he's 14yo). He's also cute in his dancing outfit. I win.

I'd tell you to mind your own fucking business tbf.

@LocalHobo

The cutest sight ever is a team of 10 year old boys in their cricket whites.

Oh yes. My sons were sport mad as kids, still are as adults. They did lots of sports but yes the cricket whites were lovely. I'm not interested in sport and find it hard to believe I've spent so many hours standing round at football/rugby/tennis/swimming to name but a few. I would have no idea what was going on unless someone told me what the score was but I could look at them and think, "Aren't they cute." So shoot me.

I went to one sports event and was shouting " come on guys come on DD" trying to get in the spirit etc and another parent turned round and commented along the lines of "Some parents are taking this a bit too seriously" in a very superior tone. I mean, the kids were very little, I thought you were supposed to encourage them because that's what parents do?

Rugby tots ti was if I remember aright.

Seems to be ok cheering the little ones at our current sport, you even get wine to boost your spirits

I don't believe they said they wouldn't say it about their sons.
Most kids do look cute when they are in football kits and it doesn't mean they think their daughter's aren't good players.
You sound like hard work. People are allowed to have a different opinion to you. It doesn't mean you are always right.

OP would you have been this annoyed at the cute comment had it been a team of little boys playing and the mum said she had no idea about how good he was but thought he looked cute?
I think you're reading too much into the comment.

I thought I was going to open up this thread and see cute little kittens in a basket. I'm seriously not impressed.

I usually comment on how cute DS and his team look at the start of a match, and what a bloody state they look afterwards.

I'll also applaud quality passing, a bold tackle or an amazing save.

It's all part of general sideline chitchat, no?

My DD does toddler football and I think she and the little boys in her group look cute. Admittedly they are toddlers. It's weird the mum didn't think boys would look cute too in my opinion!