“Awww aren’t they cute”

[CelticFairy]

Said about a group of ten year old girls playing football. This mum said ‘awww aren’t they just so cute in their football kit’ the conversation went on with another three mums agreeing and another saying ‘her dad always tells me how good she is, I don’t know anything I just think she’s so cute in her kit’ this made me irrationally angry and I had to say something so I simply said ‘would you say the same about the boys team or your sons’ the answer was a resounding no but one mum then pulled me aside and said ‘see this is why the other mums don’t like you’.

I’m learning to be okay with them not liking me because I think they are idiots!

But surely this is not how we speak about girls playing sport, they had been running about a training hard and are great footballers.

AIBU that this is one of the reasons girls and women’s sport doesn’t get taken seriously.

I'm still laughing at the scenario of a bunch of mums saying their daughters are cute, then when asked if they find their sons cute they all simultaneously say "no" 🤣🤣

Is this fact or fiction? I'm sure we will find out at the end of the show 🤣🤣

@Bluntness100

Interesting you had to strongly get it in there they wouldn’t say that about boys, because clearly you knew that’s what the answers would be,

They are allowed to find their own kids cute, they likely would say it about boys. They are a bunch of ten year olds playing football, not Man U limbering up,

Try not taking offence at everything and acting superior and calling others idiots. It’s good for the soul.

The lack of self awareness in your last paragraph is truly astounding!

[quote CelticFairy]@Palavah she instantly agreed she wouldn’t say that about her sons.[/quote]
Maybe because she was shutting down the conversation with the fighty mum looking for an argument.

I think you went out your way to try to cause trouble unnecessarily. Not everything in life is a debate and people won't always feel as strongly about something as you. But I feel this was a complete non issue and you way overreacted. Sometimes it is best to bite your tongue.

I agree but I think it was more worthy of an eye roll than anything else

I’d have thought it but not said it like you did. I’d have said something like ‘ Now come on, let’s not judge our girls on their appearance, it’s their football skills on show today.’ with a laugh but making my point in a gentle way.

Why do you think it's acceptable to pull other mums up on how they think about their own children?

Is this fact or fiction? I'm sure we will find out at the end of the show 🤣🤣

I think the caption at the end will be something like the usual one "Based on the characters created by xxxx".

see this is why the other mums don’t like you’.
If this really was said (hardly credible, but if) it clearly demonstrates that op has lengthy form for pulling crap like this.

It hardly helps her case that they're idiots and she's the poor hard done by martyr who has to put up with them.

I'm with you, OP. It's infuriating the patronising way some talk about girls/women in sport. 10 year old girls are not 'cute' playing sport. It's degrading and sexist to talk about them that way.

And to have someone take you aside and tell you this is why people don't like you?!? That person is no better than the patronising lot.

They're not your people anyway, by the sound of it.

I see where you're coming from OP, but it wasn't Gary Lineker saying this about the England women's team - it was a parent supporting on the grass roots sidelines. She would probably also have clapped and cheered if someone scored a goal and encouraged her daughter to keep training.

@GladAllOver

Is this fact or fiction? I'm sure we will find out at the end of the show 🤣🤣

I think the caption at the end will be something like the usual one "Based on the characters created by xxxx".

🤣🤣🤣 based on a true story of the way a conversation went in my own mind.

@CelticFairy I am with you, and my autistic brain sees it as completely unfair and I’m always losing friends by speaking my mind/standing up for injustice/imbalances, especially when it comes to pink/blue kids. I’m sure my Dsis was one of those with her kids playing football, and only does it as her friends let their girls do it. She’ll be waiting with a pink coat and water bottle and skirt ready for as soon as she has finished thought to make sure she knows she’s a girl.

I think there’s a time and a place for feminism and this probably isn’t it. I’d find my kids cute playing in a kit (both ds and ds) and if someone commented negatively about that I’d be pretty pissed off. I can be a feminist and find kids cute. You do sound difficult.

An oddly high number of people on this site seem to live in parallel universes with frankly peculiar and aggressive encounters, in queues, in restaurants, in shops, at the schools sports club, that the rest of us never run in to.

@midsomermurderess

An oddly high number of people on this site seem to live in parallel universes with frankly peculiar and aggressive encounters, in queues, in restaurants, in shops, at the schools sports club, that the rest of us never run in to.

🤣 Yep!

@Fncottonrrrrgh

but one mum then pulled me aside and said ‘see this is why the other mums don’t like you’.I’m learning to be okay with them not liking me because I think they are idiots!

Don't jeapordise your daughters friendships over your big white horse ride.... Learn to be civil and not start arguments.

Why would a disagreement between mothers spoil the friendship between the children?? Is it not an issue between the children themselves?

I mean are adults so short sighted they will meddle with their child’s friendship? So as a mum, you have to toe the line to be ‘looking nice/right’ to the other mums (whatever that means where you live - I suspect this will vary wildly) so your child can fit in…..

What a depressing way of living. :(

On a side note, sorry off topic slightly but how girls and boys are treated differently, my DS is 11, he has always been a lot more affectionate than DD and still hugs me multiple times a day . He gave me a hug in the street outside our house a couple of years ago - he would have been about 8 or 9. My NDN said to him and said "you dont want to hug your mum in the street, what if your mates saw you!" DS just looked puzzled and shrugged. I know now he wouldnt hug me in front of mates but I'm not sure the NDN would have said the same to a girl of 8 or 9.

@sHREDDIES19

I think there’s a time and a place for feminism and this probably isn’t it. I’d find my kids cute playing in a kit (both ds and ds) and if someone commented negatively about that I’d be pretty pissed off. I can be a feminist and find kids cute. You do sound difficult.

Well I have to say, I’ve never heard mums commenting on cute their boy is whilst they are playing football. (I have two boys so my experience is about that!)

They are more likely to be talking about how much of a pain it is to stand in the side every single week, rain or shine. And that, unfortunately, that has started again….
Or how the dcs will go and be the best one this year and win every tournament (usually followed by the dads who are even more fucking competitive - so much so that the coach has had to intervene many times around insults thrown by parents/ dads towards other children etc….).

I had to say something

No you didn't. You could have just let it go but you projected onto their private conversation your views. Sounds as if they were a lot politer than I would have been if you'd butted into my private conversation and said that.

my girls play football. At first it was difficult for them ti get dirty but they soon came off covered in mud, happy and starting to play decent football.

Their coach is small and stout, gets stuck in with them at practice and is the best role model. She's funny, shouty and fierce.

The girls have a great team spirit. Nobody mentions shape, looks or boys. They just get stuck in. i am so glad they have done it.

I agree with OP but I learned not to voice it. Which is depressing in itself but I needed to maintain relationships with my kids’ friends parents.

If I said what I thought everyone would hate me! I don’t agree with uniform. I think a lot of what the school teaches is shite (scottish curriculum). I think the whole system is imbued with sexism and other dodgy attitudes and many parents bring their kids up with sexist views. I was once horrified by a school show about “Christmas around the world” that represented people from different places with horrendous stereotypes. I did say something about that in passing to other parents and they all went “aww I thought it was lovely” and I felt like a bitch!

I’m not perfect and people might have things to say about my attitudes and beliefs too. I can think people are sexist or whatever without having to always point it out.

I’m just about free of the school run now. Bliss.

@midsomermurderess

An oddly high number of people on this site seem to live in parallel universes with frankly peculiar and aggressive encounters, in queues, in restaurants, in shops, at the schools sports club, that the rest of us never run in to.

🤣

I suspect there’s a heavy element of ‘let’s see if it’s more fun to play out this imaginary conversation on mumsnet than it was in my head in the shower this morning’

@midsomermurderess

An oddly high number of people on this site seem to live in parallel universes with frankly peculiar and aggressive encounters, in queues, in restaurants, in shops, at the schools sports club, that the rest of us never run in to.

I hadn't thought of that but now you mention it I think you are right. I have to confess I have had batshit incidents (the lady in a crowded Sainsbury's one Christmas drawing the shape of a trolley in the air and telling me her husband was there with a trolley and her getting angry when I couldn't stop laughing is one that springs to mind. She wasn't having a MH moment, he was rushing behind me and she wanted me to move out of the way,) It was over 30 years ago so not something that happens often.

I'm ashamed to stay that it is making me laugh again.

@HawksAreRed

I think you're trying a bit too hard to be offended and cool. It's just kids playing and parents making small talk 🤷🏽‍♀️

We always talk about how cute our boys team look in their kits.

This^

I always comment on my son looking cute (although he's younger) and also my nephews and nieces. I don't know much about football but I do know they look damn cute!

They've took their daughters to football, so they are obviously encouraging them to play even though they don't know anything about it.

I can see why they don't like you, telling them they're not allowed to call their daughters cute and describing them as a "bunch of idiots"

Maybe don't stand with them in future and don't engage in conversation that doesn't interest you