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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave my children in the house for 2ish hours in the early evenings at 14 and 11?

278 replies

schoolsoutforever · 27/08/2021 13:16

Hello, my first time actually creating a thread but I would appreciate reasonable opinions.

Up until now I haven't really left my children often on their own but recently the older child has been in the house for a while (few hours) on her own and the younger for short periods (45 mins ish).

My husband and I would enjoy early evening drinks in the pub (approx 5ish - 7ish).

Would we be unfair leaving them to do this? My daughter is 14 in a week, son 11.5. The pub is less than 5 mins walk. We would be having max two drinks. So AIBU?

OP posts:
isitautumnyet · 27/08/2021 13:18

I think it really depends on the kids and how sensible and responsible they are. And if they have a way of contacting you etc.

Classica · 27/08/2021 13:19

Seems fine to me assuming your 11 year old is sensible enough and your 14 year old won't need to watch them like a hawk.

KingdomScrolls · 27/08/2021 13:19

I wouldn't to go to the pub personally, eleven is quite young and there may be conflict of the 14 year old sees themselves as 'in charge'

Tal45 · 27/08/2021 13:19

Do they get on ok together? If so then no problem at all IMO.

Cotswoldmama · 27/08/2021 13:28

I think it's fine.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 27/08/2021 13:29

Is 11.5 yr old starting secondary next week? Lots of kids this age would be in together after school from 3.30 to 6pm every day after school with mum dad out at work so I don't see an issue.

daisypond · 27/08/2021 13:33

How often would it be? Once a week? I admit, I’m a bit askance at you leaving them to go to the pub, as opposed to being at work or something.

GintyMcGinty · 27/08/2021 13:35

Are they sensible kids? Do they know what to do in an emergency?

If the answers are yes then go for it

MichaelGovesBeard · 27/08/2021 13:35

It’s absolutely fine.

Idontbelieveit14 · 27/08/2021 13:36

Not for the pub Confused

TiredButDancing · 27/08/2021 13:37

I wouldn't see this as an issue at all with the only proviso being can they be trusted together or are they likely to bring the house down! Grin. The 14 year old should be pretty independent already and the 11 year old will be starting secondary this year so should be well on way to independence.

stealthninjamum · 27/08/2021 13:37

I think it’s ok. I’m a single mum and through lockdown I had to leave my 10 and 13 year olds home so I could do food shopping for an hour. Sometimes I might have a quick coffee on my own for fifteen minutes too. The older one has a phone and knows not to answer the door, how to unlock the door if there’s a fire, not to turn the cooker on etc

fruitpastille · 27/08/2021 13:39

Completely fine.

Triffid1 · 27/08/2021 13:39

I don't understand the posters who say yes if it's for work and no for the pub? Either your children are able to be left alone or they're not. they don't magically get more responsible/less scared because it's work vs you and your DH having a quiet drink. And arguably, the local is a lot closer and a lot easier for you to rush home from if necessary. (the first time my parents left me and brother at home alone for the evening, we accidentally knocked the TV over as we were trying to move it and I had a small cut on my face. Parents were home 15 minutes later as they'd just gone for dinner. That was a lot quicker than they'd ever have been able to get home from work).

OP, I think it's fine at this age. I regularly leave 10 year old for a couple of hours so 11/.5 seems perfectly fine to me.

CherieBabySpliffUp · 27/08/2021 13:40

I wouldn't leave them indoors to go to the pub, no.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 27/08/2021 13:40

@daisypond

How often would it be? Once a week? I admit, I’m a bit askance at you leaving them to go to the pub, as opposed to being at work or something.
oh ye gods.
IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 27/08/2021 13:41

I would make it clear to the 14 year old she’s not the babysitter as it’s unfair to make her the default one.
If you would leave the 11 year old home alone in the dark usually and is she happy with that?

SheWoreYellow · 27/08/2021 13:41

If they get on ok then it’s fine. You’d leave the 11 year old for a couple of hours.

WeRTheOnesWeHaveBeenWaitingFor · 27/08/2021 13:41

There is no issue with leaving children if that age for a couple of hours. They will have phones if they need to contact you. If your particular children will fight/burn the house down/have a party then obviously don’t. Only you know if your kids are likely to be sensible.

Popetthetreehugger · 27/08/2021 13:43

Dear god ! 2 hours 🤣🤦‍♀️ Restore your sanity ! It won’t be every night will it , enjoy a few moments peace . Your 5 min up the road , seriously, a friend was looking after 4 younger siblings all day in the holidays at 12 . You wouldn’t be thinking of it if your younger one was a nightmare. Phones charged , house rules for who’s allowed in or not and what can can’t be eaten … enjoy … 🍷🍷

MrsPnut · 27/08/2021 13:43

I'd absolutely do this and have. We used to walk the dogs on a Saturday evening and head to the pub for 2 drinks on the way back. Sometimes our DD2 used to lock up the house and come and meet us there for a coke and a packet of crisps.

We'd be home by 6/7pm and then make dinner.

Ski4130 · 27/08/2021 13:43

Seriously? People are 'askance' at the OP thinking of leaving her children for a quiet drink with her dh? Why? Either your children can be left, or they can't, where you are makes zero difference! In fact, if I went to the pub, I'd be closer to home than if I went to work!

Slipperfairy · 27/08/2021 13:43

Mine are 11 and 9. I'll leave them both up to a couple of hours together to do errands or go to the gym.

The 11 yr old can be left all day. He has a phone,
xbox and neighbours who wfh if he needs them. Being an introvert works well for him.

WaterBottle123 · 27/08/2021 13:43

@daisypond

How often would it be? Once a week? I admit, I’m a bit askance at you leaving them to go to the pub, as opposed to being at work or something.
@daisypond

You sound lovely. Do you think parents aren't entitled to some fun?

Classica · 27/08/2021 13:43

'leaving your 11 and 14 year old to have a drink with your husband? Gosh no!'

If someone's 11 year old and 14 year old can't be left alone at home together for 2 hrs in the early evening something has gone seriously awry with your parenting.