To leave my children in the house for 2ish hours in the early evenings at 14 and 11?

[schoolsoutforever]

Hello, my first time actually creating a thread but I would appreciate reasonable opinions.

Up until now I haven't really left my children often on their own but recently the older child has been in the house for a while (few hours) on her own and the younger for short periods (45 mins ish).

My husband and I would enjoy early evening drinks in the pub (approx 5ish - 7ish).

Would we be unfair leaving them to do this? My daughter is 14 in a week, son 11.5. The pub is less than 5 mins walk. We would be having max two drinks. So AIBU?

Me looking at all the so-called mothers on this thread who believe in self-indulgence. Tsk.

I'm afraid I've left my 11 and 14 year old for quite a bit longer when I go to work, in school holidays.
They are both sensible and message or call me with any (rare) issues.
Like a PP said I'm not sure why its worse if you're at a pub. If worst came to it they could probably come and find you if its 5 min away.

Thanks everyone. I suppose the difference for pub or work is that work would be 8 hours and further away. Reason for pub is it's very close and we've not been out together for years (no family nearby). We often go to the same pub for dinner with the kids (it's a very family/quiet pub) but it would be nice to start going occasionally without them as a couple. It wouldn't be in the dark as early evening and summer. Yes, they both have phones so we would cone back if needed. They do get on well.

Your 5 mins away they can call you... Go!!

I personally wouldn't, but I wouldn't judge anyone who did.

YANBU to leave a 14yo babysitting an 11yo so long as you pay them.
Especially since you will both be drinking, the 14yo will have to be extra responsible about dialing 999 in an emergency.

I’ve left my 12 year old on his own loads of times, especially during lockdown as I couldn’t get him a key worker slot so he homeschooled himself on occasions. I often walk the dog in the evening and have walked passed the pub and popped in for a quick one. It’s no big deal! He just games on the computer and eats crisps. So go and have fun!

@PlanDeRaccordement

YANBU to leave a 14yo babysitting an 11yo so long as you pay them. Especially since you will both be drinking, the 14yo will have to be extra responsible about dialing 999 in an emergency.

An 11yo doesn't need babysitting for two hours of an evening. Honestly I think MN is a parallel universe sometimes. Do those of you who say no way spend every minute around your teens and tweens? Well good luck when they get to 16 and want to go and get drunk at parties.

The passive aggressive martyrdom on here is fucking hilarious

YA clearly BU to go to the pub for a couple of drinks in the early evening.

It is much better parenting to stay at home and neck a few bottles of gin. Each.

Absolutely go! They’ll be totally fine.

I regularly leave my 11.5 and 13 year old home alone for up to 2 hours - they’re sensible, get on well, have phone etc. They enjoy it as they get uninterrupted Xbox time!

@PlanDeRaccordement

YANBU to leave a 14yo babysitting an 11yo so long as you pay them. Especially since you will both be drinking, the 14yo will have to be extra responsible about dialing 999 in an emergency.

You think parents worring about going at all are gojng to drinly themselves incapable between 5 & 7pm?

Do working people,say getting home at 6pm, arrange afterschool childcare for 11 & 14 yos? Does it even exist?

@PlanDeRaccordement - really? You've never left two children alone without paying the older one? At what age did you decide they no longer needed paying? How much did you pay?
What a daft thing to say - you could leave an 11 year old alone for short periods so why would you pay someone to be in the house with them?!

Well good luck when they get to 16 and want to go and get drunk at parties.

Personally, I think it's a bit self-indulgent for a 16 year old to go to parties.

Planderaccordment, what do you mean? That people who have consumed alcohol can't use a phone to dial 999? Or that they can't drive? If its the latter, what do you think people who don't own cars or don't drive do?

User - what do you consider the appropriate age to go to parties?

@Macncheeseballs

User - what do you consider the appropriate age to go to parties?

A poster above had children who were aged 850 and 848. Possibly in a year or two after that :)

Go! They will be fine, they have phones, you have phones. It's 5 minutes away. Enjoy yourselves.

Anyway more interestingly what's your tipple?

@Macncheeseballs

Planderaccordment, what do you mean? That people who have consumed alcohol can't use a phone to dial 999? Or that they can't drive? If its the latter, what do you think people who don't own cars or don't drive do?

I mean that the 14yo should be able to call 999 in an emergency FIRST because running to the pub or trying to contact a parent can waste valuable time. Especially since parents are having a drink so wouldn’t be safe to drive. I would not want anyone whose been drinking to drive? And there’s nothing wrong with having a drink either...just be sure to let 14yo know to call 999.

@Hobnobswantshernameback

I haven't taken my eyes off of them since the moment of their conception and have done nothing for my own personal pleasure and enjoyment since I was a foetus Where do I get my Mumsnet best parent badge

And the people who don't own cars? Are they allowed to drink? There are other ways of getting to hospitals

I don’t think I would - but then I don’t really understand daytime drinking! If they are good company why can’t they go with you?

totally fine! one of the benefits of the kids getting older!

Hell yes!!! Crikey, what exactly is going to happen to them?! Go, enjoy your evening- if they’re anything like mine at that age they’ll be plugged into a screen and will love their independent 2 hours (if they’ve even noticed you’re gone).

MN is bizarre at times.