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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Party warning from neighbours

249 replies

partyondoon · 25/08/2021 18:22

NC.
Someone who lives on the road at the back of us has posted a note through the doors of the neighbouring properties with a party noise warning on it. It seems nice to warn us of a sleepless night due to their disco marquee scheduled to end around 2am but it also seems a bit like we've told you there's a big party so you can't complain. No one on this road knows them (v small quiet road) so it's quite bemusing to get these notes. Is this a thing to do? ASD adult and dc here and we don't understand party etiquette very well.
Sorry for posting here btw. I do know that it can be frowned up.

OP posts:
DynamoKev · 26/08/2021 13:15

@TravelDreamLife

Call me whatever you like, but I don't believe anyone should have music / noise so loud in residential areas it disrupts the neighbours lives, day or night. If it's so loud I have to 'prepare' with earplugs, going away, having a day nap (won't happen), trying to avoid getting one of my regular migraines from the noise (which I can't), trying to calm ASD child, then it's too much & I'd be a stressed mess which triggers more migraines & I'd be calling the noise complant line. A letter just stresses me in advance. Also we've had this issue the night before long car journeys. How do we prepare for that on no sleep?

If you want a party at home keep the music volume down or hire a venue / remote property & camp out.

I agree.
Littlegoth · 26/08/2021 13:16

I don’t think it’s polite to have loud music in a residential area after midnight, whether it’s a one off or they’ve warned you. Why should OP have to think about making arrangements to stay elsewhere - are they footing the bill for that?

Midnight as a one off, fine. Any later and they should be hiring a function room.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 26/08/2021 13:20

2am is not reasonable. As for 'polite', in whose universe?

Even the big festivals have to close their stages by 11.

LannieDuck · 26/08/2021 13:52

I agree with those who would be checking what's actually allowed in your LA. Keeping your entire neighbourhood awake until 2am isn't ok just because you've warned them all.

It might be a 'one-off' for that household, but if you have 30 households locally and each has a late party once a year, that's 2-3 every month Shock

This is what licensed premises are for. I've never had a party at home that's made noise outside after 11pm. Major birthdays/ wedding etc I hire venues.

crosstalk · 26/08/2021 13:52

The problem is it won't stop at 2am. I've seen enough "carriages at 12" and people cracking on to 3am and later.

And as for fireworks ....

OP I would speak to them now and say you're not happy with 2am with an outdoor marquee.

I'm all for people celebrating. But not if they have no consideration for neighbours.

girlmom21 · 26/08/2021 14:03

@AllesAusLiebe

Am I the only person who thinks that a note through the door is inappropriate?

Why don't they have the bollocks to speak to you in person?

To be fair it sounds like they put a note through the door of everyone in the surrounding area as the OP has said she, nor any of her neighbours, know the people in question.
ellyeth · 26/08/2021 17:36

They were under no obligation to warn you so I think it was courteous of them to do so.

If it is a fairly irregular occurrence then I don't see what the problem is. Every other week and I would find it annoying but I believe people can make a certain amount of noise up until about midnight. Personally speaking, I wouldn't find the occasional 2 am party worth complaining about.

Wonderfulstuff · 26/08/2021 17:39

A MN truism - cough outside someone's house after 5pm and you are a noise nuisance who must be reported to the council/police/village elders with immediate effect.

Real world: we all make noise and the occasional party is no big deal.

Or am I just the last person alive who thinks live and let live?

Supergirl1958 · 26/08/2021 17:39

@partyondoon

NC. Someone who lives on the road at the back of us has posted a note through the doors of the neighbouring properties with a party noise warning on it. It seems nice to warn us of a sleepless night due to their disco marquee scheduled to end around 2am but it also seems a bit like we've told you there's a big party so you can't complain. No one on this road knows them (v small quiet road) so it's quite bemusing to get these notes. Is this a thing to do? ASD adult and dc here and we don't understand party etiquette very well. Sorry for posting here btw. I do know that it can be frowned up.
Sorry to be Frank, but at least you got a warning! A few Saturdays ago our neighbours over the road from us had a very loud party, complete with outdoor karaoke! They had a really good singer, but when the drinks had flowed....well the drunk singers replaced the very nice singer! Then around 11 o’clock all their children started riding bikes in the street and playing really loudly!!

When I spoke to our next door neighbour a few days later, she told me they had been warned! I was a little put out we didn’t at least have a warning! I don’t mind the party but warning would have been nice as we have a 20 month old who sleeps at the front of the house where all the noise was!!

pollymere · 26/08/2021 17:44

In some areas you're not allowed music after 11pm without a special licence. It seems very polite to hint at it being a one-off so you don't call the police.

Divebar2021 · 26/08/2021 17:54

I’d rather deal with a one-off party til 2am than the relentless mowing of lawns at 08.00 on a Sunday that we have to suffer. Or dogs barking or kids screaming but hey ho we live in a neighbourhood and these are the downsides of having neighbours. Some of you seem very, very precious. I’ve no idea how many of you coped with babies if you’re all so incapable of coping with one nights broken sleep. Yes I’ve worked shifts, yes I’ve had to go to work on a few hours sleep and yes I’ve coped.

garlictwist · 26/08/2021 17:56

Christ round here parties don't tend to start until 2am and there is never any warning. If it's a one off I don't think it's an issue.

callmeadoctor · 26/08/2021 18:00

Blimey, Im really surprised that anyone would be cross at this if it is a one off. How lovely of them to let you know. I would also bear in mind that 2 am is probably the very latest people going and so they have put 2am on for that reason. When you hear on Mumsnet that neighbours have been partying till all hours and refusing to turn the noise down, then you get a neighbour who has been polite and warned people?

Jaxhog · 26/08/2021 18:09

We get this quite a lot. Sadly, a 'one-off' party rarely is.

We have been known to complain if the noise after midnight is heavily amplified. White noise and noise-cancelling headphones won't cancel a heavy base.

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 26/08/2021 18:11

What is wrong with people?🙄
No, 2 am isn't acceptable, weekend or not, warning or not.

Plenty of people work over the weekend. Why on earth should they get 4 hours sleep because you want to get pissed and sing and shout outside all night like you're 16 years old? Grow the fuck up and start behaving like respectful human beings.

And suggesting people vacate their homes for the night so you can party? How stupid and entitled are you? How your parents absolutely failed raising you🤢

Bleachmycloths · 26/08/2021 18:26

They have absolutely done the right thing. Also, when people are having work done in their houses they should warn next door neighbours about possible noise , drilling etc. Our neighbours had a lot of work done a couple of years ago and the noise was horrendous from 7am. Including Saturdays and Sundays.
I was angry and pissed off. If they’d had the courtesy to warn us and apologised in advance I would have felt much better about it.
Be grateful they’ve warned you. I think they have been considerate.

marktayloruk · 26/08/2021 18:32

Definition of a good party - you wake up with a vague memory, a hangover, a good looking bed mate and the neighbours complaining about the noise!

jacks11 · 26/08/2021 18:41

Warning you does not mean they can do whatever they like. A disco marquee until 2am in a residential area does not seem reasonable to me. Not even as a one off. The warning also does not exempt them from local noise ordinances, as a previous poster said. 2AM is unreasonable, and I’d be annoyed. I’d let them know that I though appreciate the warning, 2am is too late and if they are still making a racket at that hour I would be making a complaint.

Evan456 · 26/08/2021 18:49

What’s the problem if it’s a one of, after the last 18 months let people enjoy themselves

Clocktopus · 26/08/2021 18:54

And what about the people for whom being kept awake until 2am is a .abortion inconvenience?

Clocktopus · 26/08/2021 18:54

major inconvenience

Fucking autocorrect.

Medievalist · 26/08/2021 19:14

What’s the problem if it’s a one of, after the last 18 months let people enjoy themselves

Oh ffs Hmm. Try a bit of empathy can't you? Let people enjoy themselves?! What about the old/sick/shift workers etc etc who are desperate for a good night's sleep for any number of reasons? The selfish mentality of people who think it's their right to inflict noise and annoyance on neighbours is astounding.

TootTootTootToot · 26/08/2021 19:27

@Evan456

What’s the problem if it’s a one of, after the last 18 months let people enjoy themselves
Absolutely agree that people should enjoy themselves after the last year or so. However, it’s easy enough to enjoy yourself AND be quiet after midnight. That way everyone’s happy.

Get people to arrive earlier
Don’t have music on too loud
Bring people inside, turn off music and close windows at midnight.
Or
Hire a venue

Mollymoostoo · 26/08/2021 19:43

Our neighbors warned us about their upcoming week long wedding. Only one night of awful singing and drumming on the actual bridal party arriving but that was it. I think people only warn if they think it will be really loud, but more often than not they keep the noise down. In our area the ones that don't earn are the ones that don't care the volume or the complaints.

Evan456 · 26/08/2021 19:44

But if it’s only once???