Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Party warning from neighbours

249 replies

partyondoon · 25/08/2021 18:22

NC.
Someone who lives on the road at the back of us has posted a note through the doors of the neighbouring properties with a party noise warning on it. It seems nice to warn us of a sleepless night due to their disco marquee scheduled to end around 2am but it also seems a bit like we've told you there's a big party so you can't complain. No one on this road knows them (v small quiet road) so it's quite bemusing to get these notes. Is this a thing to do? ASD adult and dc here and we don't understand party etiquette very well.
Sorry for posting here btw. I do know that it can be frowned up.

OP posts:
Clocktopus · 25/08/2021 23:28

Plan what?

Going off some of the replies on the thread, they should plan their hotel stay/overnight trip to their mums house. Because of course the neighbours having a party should cost other residents money in hotel bills.

isitt · 25/08/2021 23:29

We have had this problem in the past and from experience there is little that can be done.
Having had warning I would be inclined to send back a note to the organiser saying thanks for your note, we expect the outside music and noise to finish at 12midnight. That is being reasonable - they can then go inside at that point

It may be worth talking to your local authority's noise department - see details on the council website- they will be able to advise on what to do. On the night it may be worth reporting it to them and they can come around. Having spoken to our council noise team their advice was they are always busy at 11pm onwards and so the best course is to report it shortly after the party starts if the noise level is unacceptable, that gives the noise people and the police warning and they can come around and ask them to turn it down - loud noise is loud noise whether it is at 8pm or 1am

Brighterblighter · 25/08/2021 23:32

It's not a thing around here because our neighbours are selfish inconsiderate bastards who blare music out for hours at any time of the day or night without thinking of their neighbours.

If you ever see these people thank them for their note and consideration.

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 25/08/2021 23:37

@Harvestyo

Is this a regular thing or a one off?

If it's a one off I think it's fine.

But it isn't though. People have jobs and lives to get on with. You should never have a party that keeps other people up until 2 am, warning or not.
JesusIsAnyNameFree · 25/08/2021 23:40

@Clocktopus

Plan what?

Going off some of the replies on the thread, they should plan their hotel stay/overnight trip to their mums house. Because of course the neighbours having a party should cost other residents money in hotel bills.

That's just so insane!
FindingMeno · 26/08/2021 00:11

I'm thinking some people on here haven't lived with teenagers.
If they have, did they never go to a party?

memberofthewedding · 26/08/2021 00:49

The party could be for a special occasion such as an anniversary or an 18th which don't happen every day.

I live in a very diverse area where there are sometimes wedding parties with lots of drumming. However they never go on past 10 pm as there are lots of families nearby and some of them will be at the wedding.

I dont mind a warning if the party is to be an occasional one as I can always go to a relative for the night.

TravelDreamLife · 26/08/2021 01:38

Call me whatever you like, but I don't believe anyone should have music / noise so loud in residential areas it disrupts the neighbours lives, day or night. If it's so loud I have to 'prepare' with earplugs, going away, having a day nap (won't happen), trying to avoid getting one of my regular migraines from the noise (which I can't), trying to calm ASD child, then it's too much & I'd be a stressed mess which triggers more migraines & I'd be calling the noise complant line. A letter just stresses me in advance. Also we've had this issue the night before long car journeys. How do we prepare for that on no sleep?

If you want a party at home keep the music volume down or hire a venue / remote property & camp out.

Goatinthegarden · 26/08/2021 06:39

We live on a quiet street and about twice a year, the parents of a family a few doors down seem to vacate the premises and their teens have a loud party that goes on all night and invariably ends up in loud street screaming.

The nice side of me tries to say ‘ah it’s just once in a while, let them have fun’. But when I’ve worked hard all week, having my sleep destroyed on a Friday night just ruins the rest of the weekend for me. I like to spend my weekends being active and doing things I don’t get time to do during the week. Why should their need for fun trump someone else’s needs?

They could have the party somewhere where it won’t disturb a residential area. Or start earlier and have an earlier finishing time.

lannistunut · 26/08/2021 06:59

The party could be for a special occasion such as an anniversary or an 18th which don't happen every day.

They do happen every day, just most people don't use them as excuses to make an unreasonable level of noise.

There's a party, and then there's disruptive noise.

PopcornMuncher · 26/08/2021 07:06

I don't think it's good manners at all. What if you have to get up at 6am for an early shift?

I had a neighbour that used to do this on week nights when she had days off coming up with no consideration for the rest of us who had to go to work Angry

HasaDigaEebowai · 26/08/2021 07:11

Normal and nice neighbours

Housewife2010 · 26/08/2021 07:15

I think that 2 am is incredibly inconsiderate. How likely is it that it would go on even longer? Having it in a marquee rather than in the house will exacerbate the noise. They should book a venue rather than ruin the night's sleep and following day's plans for all their neighbours. I have lived next door to noisy students and it was horrendous.

ApplesAreTheBaneOfMyLife · 26/08/2021 07:19

We don’t all have relatives we can go and stay with or want the hassle and expense of arranging a hotel, putting dogs into kennels etc. 12 is plenty late enough.

Jemand · 26/08/2021 07:35

Our neighbours do this, and also usually give us a bottle of wine or something. As they only have a party around once a year at most, it's really nice of them.

Motherofalittledragon · 26/08/2021 07:39

Until 2am would piss me right off, and IMO in neither considered or courteous.

lannistunut · 26/08/2021 07:56

@HasaDigaEebowai

Normal and nice neighbours
See, this is interesting, as I think 'selfish cunts'
YesILikeItToo · 26/08/2021 08:04

Good manners would be to invite you to the party.

DontJumpInTheFountain · 26/08/2021 08:05

There are two types of note. The first is one which tells you there will be a party but its intention is to reassure you that the noise will stop at a designated time, and it will provide contact details for if there's a problem. The second is one where the sole purpose is to inform you in advance that they'll be doing something antisocial thinking that you'll then have no right to complain. This note is the latter.

Housewife2010 · 26/08/2021 08:05

Good manners would be not to inconvenience their neighbours until 2 am.

user1471538283 · 26/08/2021 09:20

I'm sorry I was just thinking that that was the only party I ever had. If a neighbor had been upset I would have cancelled.

I was told by my ex neighbors that apparently when they have a party they let neighbors know so they can plan. They didn't let me know but the noise was every single day. I was lucky and could stay overnight with a friend some of the time.

As your neighbors are so noisy all the time I would have to tell them. Everyone has had and is having a tough time but their wants do not trump yours.

kurtney · 26/08/2021 10:55

3 or 4 times a year? Until 4 or 5am

and "I still fucking hate her for it"

Jeeeeez.

I bet you're a right laugh

Anyone who thinks that sort of behaviour is ok is a cunt. It's as simple as that. If I wanted to feel like I was living in a nightclub, I'd go to a nightclub, I wouldn't bring it to my house. Having a party is fine. Low music and voices murmuring, even til 5am, is fine. Windows rattling, walls vibrating, music so loud it can't be blocked out with earplugs and teenagers puking over your wall is not.

And just as an aside, when we were having our kitchen refitted, in the middle of the day, she came round and complained about the noise because she was working shifts and couldn't sleep. As is usually the case with people like this, what's good for the goose is often unacceptable for the gander.

AllesAusLiebe · 26/08/2021 11:19

Am I the only person who thinks that a note through the door is inappropriate?

Why don't they have the bollocks to speak to you in person?

mewkins · 26/08/2021 11:27

At least I guess you know what time it will stop. However surely it's more polite to invite your neighbours?!

twelvefiftynine · 26/08/2021 13:09

My neighbours had a wedding in their garden which they gave advance notice of. I thought ok, a wedding. No worries. Turned out they had a band that played all night and people drunk in their garden til the wee hours. Fuckers. I had a newborn.