Am I being oversensitive about my weight?

[2389Champ]

I’m 5’6” and weight 8.4 stone (53kg) Since I gave up alcohol a couple of years ago - I used to drink 3-4 large glasses of wine a night - I’ve just naturally lost the weight and have maintained it at a constant level. I’m fit, well and have plenty of energy.
DH is 15.5 stone and 5’10” He often comments that I’m too thin, don’t eat enough etc etc. I eat what I fancy, don’t calorie count but I’m also not that motivated by it either. I used to happily gorge but now am quite happy eating enough to satisfy me. If we go out for a meal, I often select a decent starter and pud which makes him sigh loudly and pass judgement.
We happened to bump into a friend today who said “every time I see you, you are thinner and thinner you bitch!” It was a bit of banter and a throwaway comment but it started him off again. He told her I just don’t eat and it’s really made me pretty pissed off. I don’t comment on anyone else’s weight or say they eat too much! If I’ve suggested to him about eating a little less to get fitter, I’m “on his case”
Two things, am I being oversensitive and is my weight really that ‘dangerously’ low? I wasn’t conscious of my eating/weight until DH started regularly mentioning it and now it’s making me a bit paranoid!

From your update it really doesn't sound like there's a problem.
The nhs bmi calculator just suggests to keep an eye on it at the lower end of normal and perhaps discuss with your GP.
If your weight has been the same for 2 years it doesn't sound like you're at risk of losing anymore anyway.

Mumsnet isn’t the best place to ask about Eating Disorders and weight issues. There is a lot of normalising of ED behaviour and attitudes.

I've noticed this, it's really strange. I wonder why?

[quote WhoppingBigBackside]@Greenrubber, That's about what I weigh, and it's fine. The people who say I am too thin are usually overweight.

I am of a build and height where going up or down a few pounds does show, but the only reason I think people tell me is because they want to justify their own weight.

We live in a society where fatshaming is deemed wrong but thinshaming isn't[/quote]
Yes, it would be considered fatshaming if the OP was 70kg (bmi bordering on overweight) and her partner expressed concern. She is a healthy weight.

@bananamushy

People have lost touch with what a healthy weight looks like

I don't think this is actually true and a healthy weight is fairly subjective.

The OP says she is fit, well, and has plenty of energy, so it sounds like her weight is healthy for her body.

Yes, it would be considered fatshaming if the OP was 70kg (bmi bordering on overweight) and her partner expressed concern. She is a healthy weight.

Being at the top of the healthy weight range is much less concerning than right at the bottom.

I think your fine and if you haven't changed in two years than your DH is just projecting. He is quite overweight and if he's around the same age as you will be feeling the impact in joints etc.
For the pp I am obese and often order a starter as a main and a dessert. I prefer the types of foods offered in starters and unless it was fine dining wouldn't manage starter, main, dessert portions in restaurants.

I’m a similar weight and height. I eat plenty so don’t get comments from my partner.
The only person who really comments on my weight and me being ‘so skinny’ is a woman st work who is a slimming world fanatic and obsessed with trying to lose weight. She’s clearly got issues but she’s really annoying.
If you feel you eat enough and are happy and healthy ignore other people

Incidentally, well done for cutting back on the alcohol. That's definitely a healthier way to live.

@2389Champ - I am exactly the same height and weight as you. Like you, I am fit and healthy and feel just right at this weight. :)

OP as long as you are being really honest with yourself I would just ignore as best you can.

I’m similar, 5’6 and 8st. When I first started seeing friends and colleagues again post lockdown I got a lot of comments about my weight.

If I’m totally honest with myself I’m a bit too exercise obsessed and I’m a controlled eater. I don’t think, hand on heart, I could say I have a healthy attitude to food. I don’t usually skip meals, but I will for example skip the potatoes, or have a half portion of rice to reduce carbs.

You will know if this applies to you or not. But maybe ask yourself why you don’t have a full size main course when you go out? Doing that occasionally, because you’re not that hungry and also fancy desert is one thing, but on a regular basis I think it’s a red flag.

@kowari

The OP says she is fit, well, and has plenty of energy, so it sounds like her weight is healthy for her body.

What does that have to do with my post?

I rarely order a starter or a pudding if eating out, but I have been known to order two starters instead of the main dish.

tbf starters often have better options!

@WhoppingBigBackside

I rarely order a starter or a pudding if eating out, but I have been known to order two starters instead of the main dish.

Two starters, yes. That’s not what the op is eating for her main meal.

[quote bananamushy]@kowari

The OP says she is fit, well, and has plenty of energy, so it sounds like her weight is healthy for her body.

What does that have to do with my post? [/quote]
You said a healthy weight is subjective. I agree, a healthy weight for one individual may not be healthy for another. The healthy weight range is very broad and a healthy weight for an individual may fall at the bottom, muddle, or top of that range.

we agree then 👍🏼

I’m surprised how many people are just saying it’s absolutely fine when NHS advice flags it as a concern and recommends speaking to Gp.
My weight fluctuates by easily a couple of lb - tomorrow OP could be in unhealthy bracket.
My understanding is same PurpleDaisies that it has less health implications being at top end/slightly overweight than dropping into unhealthy - underweight is much worse health wise.
I had an over 40s nhs health check free at a local pharmacy - cholesterol, health questionnaire, bloods etc. Would maybe reassure or flag up issues.
My teen daughter is just a healthy weight but has some issues with food (I keep a close eye) - some of the things you’ve said - not liking feeling full, eating out portions are huge I’ll only have a starter are exactly her - they are concerning to me.

@PurpleDaisies, no, but I don't have a pudding, so it's roughly the same and starter and pud.

I’m a the same height and weight as you, I wear a size 6/8. I’m not too thin or skinny but EVERYONE loves to tell me how tiny I am, I’m always being told “there’s nothing of you”. I’m not overly toned though so if I ever complain about how much I dislike my body I get instantly told off as supposedly others would love my figure but I’m just a normal size and could do with being a bit fitter, I have been underweight in the past though but I looked I’ll then, right now I look healthy but people still comment on how small I am.

I am 5ft 4 and 8 and half stone. Perfectly healthy weight.. The amount of times people have said how thin I am is unbelievable! I am slim not thin and so are you! If you weren’t eating correctly, obsessing about food or felt ill that would be a different matter.

NHS Advice

OP you sound absolutely fine, especially as you are small boned - again, to me it sounds like your dp is unhappy as you make him look bad. He needs to start looking after his health as he's very overweight for his height.

Sorry shoulistop just seen you had already posted

If you weren’t eating correctly, obsessing about food or felt ill that would be a different matter.

We don’t know anything about the op’s diet to make that judgement.

You’re going to get hammered for humble bragging…

But I think you’re a pretty normal and healthy weight for your size, depending on your frame. I’m 5’6” and 50kg and am perfectly healthy to look at as I’m just slight. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I’m certainly not dangerously underweight, so I doubt you are either.