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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it normal for adult to nap every afternoon?

331 replies

Menomeany · 23/08/2021 19:33

First time poster here...please tell me AIBU.
DH takes himself off for a nap every afternoon...he works from home (but NOT self-employed) and has lots of what I call 'downtime', as opposed to my job which is flippin full on for every second I am there. Sometimes he'll nap for 30 mins, but can be up to 2 hours. If we go out for a day, he will nap in car on way home (he does not drive so I'm always the one doing the driving) On weekends activities are limited due to his need for a nap. Jobs that need doing don't get done. AIBU to feel this is such a waste of a life to sleep it away like this? He is not even 50 yet...what does the future hold?

OP posts:
Brefugee · 23/08/2021 19:35

What is it that bothers you? Him choosing how to spend his time (napping)? or that you do all the driving? or he doesn't do any of the jobs you think need doing?

You can't judge if he is more tired than you, despite you indicating he has an easy job and you don't. We're all different.

gigi556 · 23/08/2021 19:37

Does he sleep at night? That's not normal. He should see a doctor. Could be narcolepsy.

annacondom · 23/08/2021 19:38

He should get checked out, I think. I go through phases of needing naps, but I have a post-viral fatigue thing that some days makes me tired. On the other hand, it could be that he has just got into the habit. Does he stay up late at night or get up very early? But different people need different amounts of sleep.

DrMadelineMaxwell · 23/08/2021 19:39

Does he snore? Dh was forever falling asleep in the day when he was a snorer.

I bloody love a nap but it is a treat and I don't plan my day around having one.

OnceTheyDid · 23/08/2021 19:41

I have a nap most days!

54321nought · 23/08/2021 19:43

Where is he from? It is the norm for most societies and cultures

It is not the norm here, but we are biologically programmed to sleep in the early afternoon - we just don't tend to do it in the uk

SisterBeaverhausen · 23/08/2021 19:43

I nap every afternoon but I'm 27 weeks pregnant with M.E. Does he feel well in general?

scarpa · 23/08/2021 19:43

I used to nap every day, 4-5pm after work, genuinely couldn't function in the evening without it, but I have a condition that means my sleep-wake cycle is all wrong/I sleep poorly at night AND I had low vitamin D so no energy.

Does he sleep well at night, and how's his diet?

daisypond · 23/08/2021 19:44

I don’t think that’s normal. What sort of job does he do where he can go off for a nap for two hours while still at work?

54321nought · 23/08/2021 19:44

It is a very healthy habit! associated with long life and good health in cultures where it is standard

JulesCobb · 23/08/2021 19:46

He might need a blood test.

letmethinkaboutitfornow · 23/08/2021 19:46

Yes! I love having a nap around lunchtime! 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Mixitupalot · 23/08/2021 19:46

Both me and my husband do this, I couldn’t function otherwise.

lannistunut · 23/08/2021 19:49

It bloody should be normal, naps are lovely. I have no idea if it would be a health thing, I suppose if he is very tired it is worth checking.

DukeOfEarlGrey · 23/08/2021 19:49

I’m a regular napper and was going to say YABU until I read the details. Up to 2hrs a day and prohibiting normal activities/doing is share is not ok and he needs to look into why he is so tired. We all have different circadian rhythms but we have to make them work around our roles and commitments.

vodkaredbullgirl · 23/08/2021 19:51

Love a good nap, even if its for 20 mins.

Lonelylooloo · 23/08/2021 19:51

Does it negatively impact your life? If so then ofc you have every right to tell him it needs to change.

However, he may well tell you no and refuse to change. He is fully entitled to do that and you need to be prepared for that.

As it stands I think you’ll just resent him more and more as time passes. I couldn’t live my life with someone like this but then again I’m in my late twenties with two babies so it would be entirely unreasonable if my DH were doing this

bellabride · 23/08/2021 19:52

I like a post lunch half hour nap on my days off work, but I'm up at 6am, so I'm flagging a bit by then, so a nap puts me on for the rest of the day.

Iggly · 23/08/2021 19:52

Is he a snorer? Does he drink a lot of alcohol? If so, he may be getting shit sleep at night so needs the naps.

PinkiOcelot · 23/08/2021 19:53

That doesn’t sound normal to me. He’s sleeping too much. I would book him a doctors appointment.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 23/08/2021 19:53

I've never been able to sleep during the day, unless I'm ill. I can see why you're finding it irritating - do you have children?

I can't see my workplace tolerating a daily nap in work hours!

MulanIsChinese · 23/08/2021 19:53

DH does this but he has ASC and finds it easier to process if he is well rested

ActonSquirrel · 23/08/2021 19:54

God no. I tend to wake up groggy and headachy if I sleep in the day.

ActonSquirrel · 23/08/2021 19:55

What jobs are people in that they can do this?

FoodIsOnMyMind · 23/08/2021 19:55

If ds is napping when dd is at pre school. I nap. Its all I think about.
I can sleep better in the day than at night.

This week Inlaed are taking dd out and I'm already dreaming of nap time when ds does working out timings for her going. Me and ds doing something then 2 hour nap.