Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it normal for adult to nap every afternoon?

331 replies

Menomeany · 23/08/2021 19:33

First time poster here...please tell me AIBU.
DH takes himself off for a nap every afternoon...he works from home (but NOT self-employed) and has lots of what I call 'downtime', as opposed to my job which is flippin full on for every second I am there. Sometimes he'll nap for 30 mins, but can be up to 2 hours. If we go out for a day, he will nap in car on way home (he does not drive so I'm always the one doing the driving) On weekends activities are limited due to his need for a nap. Jobs that need doing don't get done. AIBU to feel this is such a waste of a life to sleep it away like this? He is not even 50 yet...what does the future hold?

OP posts:
AlternativePerspective · 23/08/2021 20:34

People need to read the thread. He has sleep apnoea which is an extremely serious condition and increases your chances of heart attack and stroke by around 30% for instance.

The reason why he is sleeping more in the day is because his sleep apnoea means he doesn’t get enough oxygen, and as soon as his brain picks up that his sats have dropped it wakes him up.

OP the mask he needs is called a CPAP.

But really, people can’t judge him for napping when he has a serious potentially life limiting medical condition.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 23/08/2021 20:35

@Menomeany

We keep chasing them...'but Covid' 🙄
That is outrageous. People die due to sleep apnoea. He should complain. Some things can reasonably be expected to wait. Severe sleep apnoea is not one of them.
Belle96 · 23/08/2021 20:35

I would love to nap everyday like this if I could, I have children so I cant but I would love to if I could

PumpkinKlNG · 23/08/2021 20:36

Op asked if it’s normal to nap in the day and people are answering that question

SizeEleven · 23/08/2021 20:36

@Menomeany

I simply can't switch off enough to nap, find it impossible. Bad enough getting to sleep at night...menopause!
Can I hugely recommend HRT for improving sleep. Mine is sooo much better thanks to it.
chaosrabbitland · 23/08/2021 20:36

any days im not working i have an afternoon nap . it makes me feel so much better and able to function after i wake

OnwardsAndSideways1 · 23/08/2021 20:36

Having sleep apnoea is a serious health risk, and you don't seem to be fully engaged with just how awful people with sleep apnoea can feel, part of the diagnosis is daytime sleepiness! Even the CPAP machine isn't a miracle, you have to adjust it, it doesn't always deliver great sleep for everyone, compliance isn't high and so on. The most obvious thing to do is to ensure his sleep apnoea is well treated and read up about it because it might be it's not quite well enough treated at present. If he does a senior role well and functions well the rest of the time it may be that this is just going to be part and parcel of the future- but good treatment, good diet and losing weight if he's on the heavier side will all help.

NautaOcts · 23/08/2021 20:37

I think lots of people could probably get into the habit of it given the chance!

I find it I ever fall asleep in the day that I find it really hard to stay awake at that time the next day.
In general though it messes with my bedtime sleep too much so I never do

wordsareveryunnecessary · 23/08/2021 20:37

My DH was like this before he was diagnosed with underactive throid. Once he started thyroxine he did not nap or snore anymore

SquitMcJit · 23/08/2021 20:37

@AlternativePerspective

People need to read the thread. He has sleep apnoea which is an extremely serious condition and increases your chances of heart attack and stroke by around 30% for instance.

The reason why he is sleeping more in the day is because his sleep apnoea means he doesn’t get enough oxygen, and as soon as his brain picks up that his sats have dropped it wakes him up.

OP the mask he needs is called a CPAP.

But really, people can’t judge him for napping when he has a serious potentially life limiting medical condition.

Thank Christ!

I thought I was going mad.

He’s got sleep apnoea everyone. It’s a very serious condition. He needs medical help - which they are waiting for.

The napping isn’t a mystery or a preference.

OP - what are you going to do to manage living with this until he can be seen?

hospital21 · 23/08/2021 20:38

In the holidays I do this, but that’s because I’m not very well. In term time I just collapse on the sofa when I get home.

Original poster
Menomeany · 23/08/2021 20:38

Haha, he actually did this the first time he met my sister...I was mortified!

OP posts:
NautaOcts · 23/08/2021 20:38

Sorry my message wasn’t a direct response to the sleep apnoea thing! Agree that is very serious.
Had a boss with that, young(ish - 40) fit guy so not someone I would have typically associated with it. He looked knackered the whole time and yawned the whole day, had loads of coffee.

OnwardsAndSideways1 · 23/08/2021 20:38

Go private, get a diagnosis, get a machine, it will be a big improvement for him, nasal strips are not enough. Or chase chase chase and get any cancellations going, but don't wait years to get a sleep study, he could have had a heart attack by then!

Bigpjbottoms282 · 23/08/2021 20:39

Oh I love a nap. I work part time and on my 2 days off during the week I whizz through all the jobs so that I can enjoy a nap before the school run. 1st thing I'll do when the summer holiday is over is have a lovely nap.

AlternativePerspective · 23/08/2021 20:40

Op asked if it’s normal to nap in the day and people are answering that question yes. But she asked and said she was hoping to be proved right because his need to sleep irritates her. And then she let the thread run for 2 pages before drip-feeding that he’s been diagnosed with severe sleep apnoea.

The need for someone with sleep apnoea to nap is not comparable with an average lazy person who has checked out of family life because they would rather have a nap.

So a bit disingenuous to suggest that this is only about whether people nap.

Whydidimarryhim · 23/08/2021 20:40

Lazy bastard jumps out to me!!!
What does he do in the house with regard to chores. When he’s not sleeping?
Does he share the work.
Why doesn’t he drive?
Do you get the same down time?
Sounds to me he has it sussed.
Some people are doers and get on with life - others are the ones that sit back and let others do for them.
Maybe I’m unsympathetic - I go on days out without him - don’t wait around for him to WAKE UP!!! 😇

Borisjohnsonshairbrush · 23/08/2021 20:40

Man I love a nap

pollylocketpickedapocket · 23/08/2021 20:41

Don’t know if it’s normal but if I had the opportunity, I’d nap everyday!

RampantIvy · 23/08/2021 20:41

He needs a CPAP machine asap. It's just as well that he doesn't drive at the moment. Are there any plans for him to learn to drive once he gets a CPAP machine and gets decent quality sleep?

How come his employer is unaware that he sleeps every afternoon?

Original poster
Menomeany · 23/08/2021 20:42

Oh god, feel terrible now. Will tuck him up in bed myself each afternoon. And will harass the sleep team for an appointment.

OP posts:
DeflatedGinDrinker · 23/08/2021 20:42

He needs to go see a doctor OP he sounds unwell.

MordenLarch · 23/08/2021 20:43

It’s fine - people on the continent do it every day (as do I)

IsItWorthTheHassle · 23/08/2021 20:43

I voted YABU because someone whose life is so dependent in having a nap that weekends plans are affected has a health problem.

You can say it’s a waste of time. It’s more likely to be no energy and a health concern.
He needs support rather a grumpy partner.

Swipe left for the next trending thread