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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it normal for adult to nap every afternoon?

331 replies

Menomeany · 23/08/2021 19:33

First time poster here...please tell me AIBU.
DH takes himself off for a nap every afternoon...he works from home (but NOT self-employed) and has lots of what I call 'downtime', as opposed to my job which is flippin full on for every second I am there. Sometimes he'll nap for 30 mins, but can be up to 2 hours. If we go out for a day, he will nap in car on way home (he does not drive so I'm always the one doing the driving) On weekends activities are limited due to his need for a nap. Jobs that need doing don't get done. AIBU to feel this is such a waste of a life to sleep it away like this? He is not even 50 yet...what does the future hold?

OP posts:
FlowerPower3110 · 23/08/2021 20:25

I'm 34 and I love taking a short nap after lunch.

SquitMcJit · 23/08/2021 20:25

If you read all the OP’s posts, he has sleep apnoea.

So not surprising he is having daytime sleeps.

Doesn’t mean it’s okay that it impacts on the OP. But does mean he’s not choosing to because he fancies a kip.

Ronacorona · 23/08/2021 20:25

What time does he wake up in the morning and when does he go to bed at night? Is his job physical / manual labour?

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 23/08/2021 20:25

@Menomeany

Yes to both, he snores and has recently been diagnosed with sleep apnoea so I'm sure this is part of the problem. Still find it maddening though! I'm just mean aren't I!
A bit yeah. If he has sleep apnoea his sleep is garbage and he needs the nap.
megletthesecond · 23/08/2021 20:26

Not really. I'm 47 and never nap.

Dindundundundeeer · 23/08/2021 20:27

What if you nipped off to sleep? How would that work?

AlternativePerspective · 23/08/2021 20:27

What is being done about his sleep apnoea. It is actually an incredibly dangerous condition, and if it is affecting his ability to function normally then perhaps he needs a mask (I can’t remember what it’s called) at night.

In many cultures it is in fact normal to nap during the day. There’s a lot to be said for having a siesta.

I have a nap most afternoons, but I am in heart failure and sleep badly at night. My wakening hours are generally between 2 and 5 AM so there is often a need to nap. If I don’t go upstairs and have a sleep then I end up falling asleep in the chair. Interestingly though if I have a nap in the afternoon I often sleep better at night.

MrsMaizel · 23/08/2021 20:27

@gigi556

Does he sleep at night? That's not normal. He should see a doctor. Could be narcolepsy.
Don't be ridiculous . Lots of people nap and don't have narcolepsy . 😂 I've been a napper since I was a student and even when working would squeeze 20 mins in when I came home.
Original poster
Menomeany · 23/08/2021 20:27

He's waiting for appointment...has been told severe apnoea. Uses those nasal strips at moment, helps a bit. I'm in spare room.

OP posts:
BoredZelda · 23/08/2021 20:27

What jobs are people in that they can do this?

Jobs that give you a lunch break.

I often have a nap after lunch, usually about 20 mins or so. Easier to do when WFH but when I drove to work, I’d do a quick nap in my car at lunch. Staves off that mid afternoon dip.

Bluntness100 · 23/08/2021 20:28

Op is he bored? I tend to nap if I’m bored.

Well when I nap, which is not often, the reasons are

Hangover
Poor nights sleep the night before
Bit bored.

NigellaSeed · 23/08/2021 20:28

I could have a long nap every day, no problem, even before DS. It runs in my family, if we come to your house for a visit, we will most likely have a wee kip on your couch.

But, I have got too much to do. And I wouldn't want to limit days out for it. If he really can't stay awake for a day out then he's maybe anemic or some shit. Or you need better days out...

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 23/08/2021 20:28

Sorry, just reread and saw you said he doesn't drive. From a safety pov given his medical condition, that's a good thing.

TheVolturi · 23/08/2021 20:28

Through my twenties I used to sleep on my dinner break. Couldn't function without it. Was a long day though. I've not had a day nap since 1st baby was born 8 years ago, and I've survived.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 23/08/2021 20:29

Those nose strips will be doing fuck all. I hope he gets an appt very soon. Untreated sleep apnoea is dangerous.

Original poster
Menomeany · 23/08/2021 20:30

I simply can't switch off enough to nap, find it impossible. Bad enough getting to sleep at night...menopause!

OP posts:
ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 23/08/2021 20:30

I’m amazed at the napping culture on here. I’ve never had time to nap!

notacooldad · 23/08/2021 20:30

I mentioned this to my doctor when I was talking about something else. He immediately picked up on it and sent me for blood tests to check out my thyroid, for diabetes and other conditions. It turns out that I was b12 deficient. Apparently it's very common.

Kite22 · 23/08/2021 20:31

I don't think it is particularly common in the UK, as it doesn't fit in with the majority of people's work hours (although some modern employers are including sleep pods in their offices) , however, I wouldn't consider it 'abnormal' either.

Like a lot of things, if you get into the habit of it, then you do come to need it.

Re the people shocked about working people being able to - the OP has said he works from home. Lots of roles expect you to 'get the job done' over the week or month, rather than 'sit at your desk between 9am and 5pm'. how people organise their time is up to them. Not everyone needs to 'be available' the instant someone needs them.

JudgeJ · 23/08/2021 20:31

@OnceTheyDid

I have a nap most days!
When I was teaching I would often have a couple of hours sleep after work but I seem to have a very messed up circadian rhythm. I would find that from about 11 o'clock I was wide awake and would work through until about 2 or 3am. Even now, long retired, I find dropping off hard, I'm often still awake at 3am, I may then drop off and sleep til 10am!
MrsJBaptiste · 23/08/2021 20:32

God, this would piss me right off. I can't stand napping (hate that word too) just plough on until bedtime FFS. If you're that knackered then take yourself off to bed for an early night.

TheWholeJingbang · 23/08/2021 20:32

I used to always nap between the 2-3pm

Always looked so fresh faced for the school run

But also guilty and ashamed and I think I was actually depressed ?

AdultHumanWhale · 23/08/2021 20:32

I regularly have a short nap in the afternoon... but I get up for work at 5am, am busy all day, then busy again in the evening. There's no way I could nap in the way you describe your husband doing.

He needs to get the sleep apnoea sorted!

Original poster
Menomeany · 23/08/2021 20:32

We keep chasing them...'but Covid' 🙄

OP posts:
FatCatThinCat · 23/08/2021 20:34

@Menomeany

He's waiting for appointment...has been told severe apnoea. Uses those nasal strips at moment, helps a bit. I'm in spare room.
That means he's having more than 30 apneas per hour. Imagine if someone shook you awake ever 2 minutes throughout the night, you'd be napping too the next day. Although napping doesn't help as the apnea's will continue then too.

I really feel for the guy as I was the same 2 years ago. I had no quality of life as all I wanted to do was sleep. But I never could. I'd doze into the first, light stage of sleep, but as soon as I went into the next faze I'd 'wake up'. So I never felt like I'd been to sleep. I napped every single day as I was utterly exhausted. The CPAP machine changed my life right from the first day of using it. I still have the occasional night where things go a bit pear shaped but I finally feel like I can live, rather than just sleep.