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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get up early for work and wake the whole family?

211 replies

MonsterMunch99 · 23/08/2021 07:42

I go into London once a week for work, and normally I get up at 7 which gets me into the office about 9:30. Occasionally I'm awake early and decide to get the earlier train, so I can be in the office for 8:30. This means I have to creep into our bedroom at 6:15 (I sleep in the spare room, but all my stuff is in our room), grab some clothes, then creep out and shower in another bathroom. Our place is open plan so if I make too much noise in the kitchen it's audible throughout the house. I obviously try to tiptoe everywhere, and even eat my cereal in another room, but it still wakes everyone up.

I can see it's annoying - I also hate being woken up early. But if I'm awake and ready to go at 6am, what am I supposed to do - just lie there for an hour?

Obviously if I planned better I could get my stuff ready the night before, which would alleviate the issue a bit - but I would probably still wake everyone up.

What's reasonable here? I can't be the only person getting up earlier than DP in order to go to work.

OP posts:
SmileyClare · 24/08/2021 08:58

I thought silent banana was some kind of euphemism but didn't like to ask that's really made me laugh Grin

Kinsters · 24/08/2021 09:03

Just because there's a possibility of you waking up your light sleeper doesn't mean you shouldn't even bother trying to be quiet. Lay your stuff out the night before and just be mindful of the noise you make. You probably don't notice things like the noise of your spoon or clanking bowls around because you're not naturally considerate of noise. I'm sure there's a lot you could do to be quieter if you tried.

3luckystars · 24/08/2021 09:22

Definitely. What do you do on Christmas Eve?

AlmostSummer21 · 24/08/2021 09:34

@MonsterMunch99

It would be helpful if you'd give all the information if you actually want advice, if you just want to moan, then say so!

How old are your children? Do they have special needs?

Is it you going out or your partner?

Palavah · 24/08/2021 09:52

@YouHaveNotFuckedUp

All you weirdos suggesting having a shower the night before are a bit skanky IMHO. I would feel very icky if I didn’t shower after a nights sleep. But maybe I am actually just naturally more skanky in bed and you wake up fresh as daisies anyway Confused
This - if I'm commuting to work for the day I'm going to have a shower that morning before i leave my own flipping house.
Enko · 24/08/2021 10:02

Well for me 6 15 is early but that is all relative. It was early back when I used to get up around that time myself for work too.

Depending on age of child. You teach the child to be quiet and not get into a lot of stuff. If its a 10 year old this should not be a issue if its a 2 year old then its just part of being a parent and the partner needs to get to bed early enough to cope.

Dh got up at this time almost all of our marriage to commute to London. Our kids got used to the noise and went back to sleep.

Dh now complains dear dog wakes him at 6 for a wee. I have no sympathy Grin says thats what he gets for training d dog to habe a wee that early. .

3luckystars · 24/08/2021 22:13

Is anyone up for work tomorrow yet?

BeauxRingarde · 24/08/2021 22:49

@3luckystars

Is anyone up for work tomorrow yet?
I got up for work in 1978 and I haven't been to bed yet.
littlemisslozza · 24/08/2021 22:54

DH is up at 4.45 every morning. Rest of us don't wake up. He doesn't shower at that time of day but he does have a cup of tea. I'd say you should be having everything laid out the night before and unless you are particularly sweaty at night, a shower the night before should suffice.

DelphiniumBlue · 24/08/2021 23:00

Who are all these people that get woken by someone getting showered and dressed in another room? If OP is already in the spare room, how can anyone else be affected?

fizbosshoes · 24/08/2021 23:08

Who are all these people that get woken by someone getting showered and dressed in another room?

I'm a really light sleeper, even my cat wakes me up if it walking around upstairs! My SIL once got up and left the house without me hearing g but otherwise if someone else gets up I normally hear.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 24/08/2021 23:11

Definitely take your stuff into the spare room OP. My ex husband would moan and blame me for everything & I'm wondering if you have one like that?

Please don't irritate us commuters on early trains by chomping on breakfast though!

LadyOfTheFlowers · 24/08/2021 23:14

My kids sleep through me getting up early because I make an effort to be quiet near their rooms.
I don't make any effort in my room as DP never makes an effort when it's the other way round and is one of those who snoozes his alarm 42 times

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 24/08/2021 23:21

You should do what you can to be quiet - clothes in the bedroom you’re sleeping in the night before etc.

However these do sound like extraordinarily light sleepers if they’re woken by what you describe

Coffeeonmytoffee · 24/08/2021 23:40

I wake at 5.30 have a shower and get dressed. My clothes are in the hall so I just grab them. I get dressed, out makeup on and have a drink. Generally I eat breakfast at work. I leave the house at 6.20 and I haven't woken anyone yet - not even the dog.
I'm at work at 7 and usually my kids text me around 7.25 to ask where various things are or to say morning.

melj1213 · 25/08/2021 00:30

I work 3rd shift (2pm -10pm) at work now, 5 days a week so 6.15am is literally the middle of the night as I tend to sleep 2am-9/10am.

The first year ExDH and I lived abroad we lived in Madrid and I worked out in a school in the suburbs. I used to have to get up at 6am to be out of the house by 6.40 to get the metro to the bus station by 7.10 to get the bus to arrive at school by 8.10am. My ExDH worked in an office in the city - he had to be at his desk by 9.30am with a 20 minute commute so his alarm didn't even go off till about 8am.

I showered at night, laid out all of my clothes before bed, had my bags/shoes ready at the door and did everything to make my morning as efficient and quiet as possible especially as we lived in an echo-y flat where noise travelled and there was no "downstairs" to distance any noise from ExDH and DD who were still sleeping. When my alarm went off I'd grab my clothes, get washed and dressed in the bathroom (so I only had to turn on one light to get ready) then grab a quick breakfast - usually just toast/fruit - and leave.

I never tiptoed around, terrified to breathe too loudly, I was just conscious of the noise I made and tried to minimise any unnecessary noise. So if I woke up and it was unexpectedly hammering with rain I would have no issue making noise to go through the coat cupboard to find my raincoat and umbrella, but usually my coat/shoes were by the door so I didn't have to make that noise routinely at 6am, equally if I knew there was a high chance of rain then I'd at least pull my raincoat and umbrella to the front of of the cupboard the night before, just in case.

Spudina · 25/08/2021 00:38

Sorry, but I couldn’t go and get on a train knowing i hasn’t showered in the morning. I’d feel gross all day. As OP have written, it would be better if your clothes were in the room you are sleeping in. Aside from that, I think what you are doing is fine.

PyongyangKipperbang · 25/08/2021 01:30

What you should do is what my ex did which is bitch about being woken when he wanted to be asleep (I tended to work lates) but then get up and get dressed to his toe-tectors at 4 am and stomp up and down the stairs and not give a shit that I would have had 4 hours sleep and have to deal with awake and tired and cranky kids because its what HE needed to do.

Or not......

What you are doing sounds ok to me, although as someone who would often not get home from work until 1am....yes, 6am is fucking early!

gobackanddoitproperly · 25/08/2021 02:45

No one likes getting woken early. Least of all the person getting up. My response would be, ‘I’m going to work, you know, to earn MONEY for this family, I do my best to be quiet, that’s all I can do.’ A two and a half hour time frame from waking, to being at your desk is long enough. I wouldn’t lay in bed staring at the ceiling making it longer either.

3totheright4totheleft · 25/08/2021 07:11

Please don't eat your breakfast on the train. I once stood next to a woman eating porridge out of a glass container with a teaspoon, and the awfulness of it is still with me.

PlanDeRaccordement · 25/08/2021 07:18

I have done this when I worked from 6-6 so had to leave house by 4:15am. Took shower before bed. Laid out my clothes night beforehand. Changed in bathroom. Then quietly left the house and ate breakfast either at work or on the way to work. Often a baggie of dry cereal and a big travel mug of green tea. You can do better.

Moonface123 · 25/08/2021 07:47

I get up at 4.30am, but finish work at twelve, so l have afternoons and evenings to myself.
I get everything ready night before, including shower as my hair is long and thick and takes ages to dry with hairdryer. Also my bike that l cycle to work on, because it's so dark l can't see trying to get it out of my shed and don't want to disturb neighbours, so l bring it in the hallway. By doing that l can see if l have had a slow puncture in the night, if so l have to leave earlier on foot.
I don't have a partner so can just get ready in my own room, and my teenagers are more than used to me getting up early.

Lovelydovey · 25/08/2021 07:57

Get stuff out the night before, pack a breakfast to eat on the train and if possible, shower when you get to work. All stuff I used to do to avoid waking up the house when leaving early (leaving shortly after 5am rather than as late as you).

tickledtiger · 25/08/2021 08:01

@3totheright4totheleft

Please don't eat your breakfast on the train. I once stood next to a woman eating porridge out of a glass container with a teaspoon, and the awfulness of it is still with me.
Why, did she lick the bowl afterwards going “mmmmm” or something? Just curious avoid why it was awful Grin

I’d put out clean clothes beforehand and shower at night (I like to get into bed clean) but generally 6am isn’t that early if your household work day shifts.

Simplelobsterhat · 25/08/2021 08:38

I'm finding this thread bizarre. Why are people suggesting op shouldn't eat breakfast in her own home because she has to get up at (shock horror) 6.15!?

I realise some people don't have to be up that early for work and some small children sleep later, but I'd guess the majority of people I know are awake then often or certainly within half an hour, either through kids waking up or work. I certainly have been most of my working and parenting life. Unless there is info the op hasn't given such as dp works until 2am they need to suck it up accept that parenting starts then ONCE A WEEK! I'd imagine if the child wake that easily they were probably going to wake soon anyway, although op doesn't say what time they wake up other days.

She's going to work, not partying! Yes reasonable measures to be quiet are considerate, but not avoiding doing normal things like eating breakfast and showering.

Besides, any train I've been on on a week day morning has had many people standing so not sure why people assume eating breakfast them is an option.