to get up early for work and wake the whole family?

[MonsterMunch99]

I go into London once a week for work, and normally I get up at 7 which gets me into the office about 9:30. Occasionally I'm awake early and decide to get the earlier train, so I can be in the office for 8:30. This means I have to creep into our bedroom at 6:15 (I sleep in the spare room, but all my stuff is in our room), grab some clothes, then creep out and shower in another bathroom. Our place is open plan so if I make too much noise in the kitchen it's audible throughout the house. I obviously try to tiptoe everywhere, and even eat my cereal in another room, but it still wakes everyone up.

I can see it's annoying - I also hate being woken up early. But if I'm awake and ready to go at 6am, what am I supposed to do - just lie there for an hour?

Obviously if I planned better I could get my stuff ready the night before, which would alleviate the issue a bit - but I would probably still wake everyone up.

What's reasonable here? I can't be the only person getting up earlier than DP in order to go to work.

Why do you sleep in spare room

Put clothes for next day in room

This set up is weird. Why are you in the spare room? Why can't you risk waking your kids at 6.30/45?

Odd.

I love all the sanctimonious "6.15am is not early" posts. They show a distinct lack of imagination that anyone's life is in any way different plus a good dose of the usual morning person feeling of moral superiority at getting out of bed earlier than others.

I am still working from home and getting up at 8.30. I'm rarely in bed before 12/1. To me, 6.15 is the middle of the night. Dh likes to get up early (7.15) so he leaves his stuff in the landing the night before and never wakes me.

When I go into the office, I tend to get up at 7am, which is early in our house. I shower the night before, get dressed in the en-suite (dh is a heavy sleeper so don't wake him) and straight out the door without waking dd who is a light sleeper. I put my make-up on, and have breakfast in, the office (I have my own office so not bothering anyone else). Could you do similar? Even just eating on the train - prep something the night before and bring it with you - would make a difference as kitchens tend to be a bit noisy.

My husband gets dressed in the bathroom ..clothes left in there ready
Eats breakfast and brushes teeth in kitchen then leaves.....I rarely hear him ..this can be anytime from 2 am to 6 am !

think if it's only once a week then do your best & if others wake that's too bad.

What is this "shower the night before"?

I think people either do or don't to that.

I'm a shower in the morning person & a shower the night before wouldn't alter that!

If your partner is working too, why can't you both get an early night together and get up early together? 🤔

Why should OP's partner go to bed early and get up early just because she has to? How odd to dictate another adults sleep times.

Only problem is none of us can sleep without the fan noise now 😀. We have to take one to hotels etc. Although that really helps block out hotel noises as well

Somewhat of a side issue but you can get fan noise apps, @Icannever, that’s what I have now I’m used to the noise of a fan!

Would swapping bedrooms with your DP so that you can use the en suite?

Call me a cow but I don't think 6.15 is particularly early to get up and I don't think you should be pandering to someone who is aggrieved at being woken up at a normal time in the morning.

You crack on. If he has a problem waking up at a reasonable time the onus is on him to find a solution.

I'm in the same position, you are going to work to earn money for the family. It's once a week!! Get your clothes ready the night before BUT if people wake up, it's tough. I'm sure you'd rather not be going to work and your DP just has to deal with it. Suggest he goes to bed earlier the night before as he knows this is what happens.

Don't be made to feel guilty for going to work!

Perhaps your DH should be the one sleeping in the spare room if he is the one that gets up later.

It sounds like sometimes you get up at 6.15 on a whim.

It might be easier if you let your family know in advance which day you're getting up that much earlier for, so they can plan to go to bed earlier too. That way, if they're sleep deprived, it's not your fault.

I think the randomly getting up early is worse for others than you getting up early on a schedule.

Just get your stuff ready the night before, and have your breakfast elsewhere if you make that much noise eating

I have light sleepers, I always leave around 6 when I work in town because I do prefer it for many reasons, it's not that hard. Shut your kid bedroom door the night before too.

@MonsterMunch99

Prepping the night before is a no-brainer.

But one of our kids is a light sleeper. Supposing despite all my prepping and tiptoeing, it's impossible to leave the house without waking him, and because he's noisy, he wakes DP, what then?

You know this, so don't do it. You're being selfish.

Stay in bed and scroll through MN until your usual time to get up.

@thebeatingofthedrums

It sounds like sometimes you get up at 6.15 on a whim.

It might be easier if you let your family know in advance which day you're getting up that much earlier for, so they can plan to go to bed earlier too. That way, if they're sleep deprived, it's not your fault.

I think the randomly getting up early is worse for others than you getting up early on a schedule.

I completely disagree.

You should be free to live normally in your own house. Sometimes you are up early, you can go to work, go for a run, go to the supermarket - why not - because you feel like it. Just leave a note to your partner saying where you are, but any normal human being can manage with their kids without warning.

You don't need to make a rigid schedule for the week, it's not prison. You should be able to leave the house without waking them all up though.

Silent banana

This is such a non issue IMO.

I agree with others that 6AM isn't early, at least in households where the occupants have to get up to travel to work or school. It's also once a week so not unreasonable either.

What is unreasonable is not getting your clothes out the night before. Even showering just before you go to bed isn't unreasonable. You are not going to smell if you shower the night before.

You rise, top and tail and brush your teeth. Slap a bit of mascara on and you're gone. I personally would eat when I got to work, but I am not a breakfast person so not an issue for me, but if you need to eat, then eat.

I think your DP is unreasonable, let me guess. He now works from home since Covid and has got used to a lie in?

All those people saying 6 isn’t early are those who say a small chicken feeds eight.

Of course 6:15 is early to be woken up! I’d be fuming

I don't see why you have to sleep in the spare room every night actually. I think that's very unusual.

If it were me, I'd sleep in my own bed and then get up as quietly as possible. Lay my clothes out in the spare room the night before and then try to get out without waking anyone.

But actually I think your dp is being unreasonable. It isn't that early and if he was being nice he'd have a cup of coffee with you and a chat before you go (after your shower) and kids wake up early - that's what they do! He just has to get a grip I think.

I think it's really odd that you're made to sleep in the spare room and tiptoe around before you go to work. Fair enough if it's 5am but not at 6.15am and every day.

You have to work so that's that.

6:15 isn't that early. I get up earlier than that and so do many people I know.

In the summer months DH gets up around 5.30/6 am to walk the dog.
He mostly manages to not wake me up but then I’ll wear an eye mask if I’m having trouble sleeping.

The dog usually wakes me up when they get back about 7.30 when he starts barking if DH plays with him in the garden, if I’m not already up.

Surely you can set a rule so that your DC play in their room quietly if they wake up early? Use a grow clock if they can’t tell the time.

@ActonSquirrel

You have to work so that's that.

6:15 isn't that early. I get up earlier than that and so do many people I know.

Good for you 👍

That doesn't mean it's not early for other people who may, surprisingly, have different routines to you.

I have days where I don't have to be at work until 10am - I definitely wouldn't appreciate being woken up at 6am for no good reason.

As it is, my DH is up at six every weekday for work. He showers the night before, leaves his clothes downstairs so he doesn't wake me, and he also deals with feeding my cats and letting my dog out - so that they don't wake me when he's gone because they've not been fed or toileted.

Because, y'know, that's what considerate people do.

6.15 is hardly "early"!

Of corse 6.15 is early it’s not unreasonable on a work day but it’s still early if you don’t have to be up.

YANBU though, I’m like a herd of elephants when I get up for work but go mad if my partner is noisy

Courtesy would be planning ahead and having everything you need in the spare room. Making breakfast very quietly is okay. Sleep is so important! When my DP goes to the gym before work he puts everything he needs including his protein shake stuff in the bathroom and leaves silently. I do the same!

As it is, my DH is up at six every weekday for work. He showers the night before, leaves his clothes downstairs so he doesn't wake me, and he also deals with feeding my cats and letting my dog out - so that they don't wake me when he's gone because they've not been fed or toileted

Good for you and him 👏

I wouldn't delay with your let's just so you can lie in bed until 9am