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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get up early for work and wake the whole family?

211 replies

MonsterMunch99 · 23/08/2021 07:42

I go into London once a week for work, and normally I get up at 7 which gets me into the office about 9:30. Occasionally I'm awake early and decide to get the earlier train, so I can be in the office for 8:30. This means I have to creep into our bedroom at 6:15 (I sleep in the spare room, but all my stuff is in our room), grab some clothes, then creep out and shower in another bathroom. Our place is open plan so if I make too much noise in the kitchen it's audible throughout the house. I obviously try to tiptoe everywhere, and even eat my cereal in another room, but it still wakes everyone up.

I can see it's annoying - I also hate being woken up early. But if I'm awake and ready to go at 6am, what am I supposed to do - just lie there for an hour?

Obviously if I planned better I could get my stuff ready the night before, which would alleviate the issue a bit - but I would probably still wake everyone up.

What's reasonable here? I can't be the only person getting up earlier than DP in order to go to work.

OP posts:
LouLou789 · 23/08/2021 08:41

My DH got up at 5am for work for 10 years. He had a shower at bedtime, and laid all his clothes out downstairs the night before. Got up at 5, used the loo, went downstairs and did everything else down there including cleaning his teeth, getting dressed, having a coffee (food for breakfast/lunch already in a lunchbox in the fridge) Later in the day I would move any stuff (PJs etc) back upstairs. But honestly, 6.15 isn’t that early and it’s only once a week!

Ijustreallywantacat · 23/08/2021 08:41

I wake up long before DH and just no longer apologise for making a bit of noise. I refuse to spend the morning sneaking around. If he wakes up he can go back to sleep. Minimise the noise if you like, but IMO I'd its once a week yourpartner can suck it up.

anon12345678901 · 23/08/2021 08:42

To me 6 isn't early but I get up at 4:30 for the gym, I don't shower until I'm home around 6:30 though, don't wake people either.
If you do follow tips given and it still wakes DP, they'll have to cope. If it's for work reasons once a week, what's the problem? The DP can simply wake up an hour earlier.

BeeBobny · 23/08/2021 08:42

@YouHaveNotFuckedUp skanky in bed? I sleep in clean sheets with a clean pyjama on, fresh from showering. If I have to get up very early, there's no way I would waste time on showering before work 🙄

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 23/08/2021 08:45

How open plan is your house if having a bowl of cereal wakes everyone up?

Assuming children not sleeping in kitchen? Surely with doors closed they would sleep through?

OverByYer · 23/08/2021 08:45

@MonsterMunch99

Prepping the night before is a no-brainer.

But one of our kids is a light sleeper. Supposing despite all my prepping and tiptoeing, it's impossible to leave the house without waking him, and because he's noisy, he wakes DP, what then?

I suppose that called tough shit. 6.15 isn’t that early.

You all sound a bit precious

PumpkinPie2016 · 23/08/2021 08:45

I would say you should organise your clothes etc. the night before. Obviously, don't go stomping around the house on purpose, which you don't anyway, but otherwise, you have to get ready for work Confused

If your DC is a light sleeper, are they old enough to wear ear plugs?

To be honest, I wouldn't say 6am once a week is that early to be honest!

During term time, I get up between 5.45am and 6am. DH chooses to get up at the same time but our son easily sleeps until his normal time of 6.45am-7am. He gets up then whether I am at work or not -no holiday lie ins in this house Grin

IntermittentParps · 23/08/2021 08:46

Definitely put your clothes in another room in advance, and get breakfast on the way.
But I'm sure your household can deal with possibly being woken up early once a week, unless they're particularly delicate flowers.

Areyouseriousrightnow · 23/08/2021 08:47

@honeylulu

I work in London (well returning soon after long stint WFH) and catch a 6.15 train so have to get up at 5.30. I always manage to get out of the house without waking anyone. Clothes/bag all set out the night before. Quick shower (not in en suite) dry and dress in bathroom, quietly downstairs and out the door. No lights on except in bathroom. I don't have a cup of tea before I go, not least because I'm desperate for a wee on the journey otherwise. Do make up on train. Breakfast when I get to the office. Easy peasy.

If it was the other way around yes I'd be really annoyed by someone going in and out of rooms, lights on/off, clanking around with cereal etc. Get yourself organised.

The alternative is you use the extra hour doing something else constructive but quiet rather than leaving early. Reading? Watching something on tablet with headphones? As you're in the spare room (why?) those things won't disturb anyone.

I had to be out of the house before 6am every week for two years. I didn’t wake my family once. I think it’s inconsiderate not to try. And it’s not even hard it just needs a little prep the night before and a little light-footedness in the morning. I also think this must be a reverse.
MargosKaftan · 23/08/2021 08:48

@toyallydefeated - im naturally a night owl, but years of working in corporate jobs where while your contract said 9am start, it was a given everyone would be at their desks before 8:30, I sadly don't consider an 6:15am wake up for a job in London excessively early.

I was one of those who got up as late as possible and ate breakfast on the train /when I got to work, but that is financially wasteful.

Areyouseriousrightnow · 23/08/2021 08:48

Meant to say, similarly to @honeylulu

PennyWus · 23/08/2021 08:49

Yabu. Get your clothes out the night before, have a (silent) banana for breakfast and a carton of orange juice. Grab coffee if you need it once you get to work, or en route if you really can't last that long.

As for showering, I found a way to shower silently by sitting in the bath with the shower head unhooked next to me. Not a great experience but gets you clean.

lechatnoir · 23/08/2021 08:50

If you get to the point where you have everything ready, are genuinely tip-toeing around but need to leave for work far earlier than the rest of the household and are still waking them up, then the only choices are
a) do nothing and tell DH to stop moaning. It's not like you're going off on a jolly, this is your job and whilst unfortunate, it is what it is.
b) quit your job and DH makes up the difference so he doesn't have to cope with Dc himself

icedcoffees · 23/08/2021 08:52

Why would you sleep in the spare room but keep your clothes in the bedroom? That's just daft.

Put your clothes in the spare room.
Shower the night before.
Get up, dressed, grab breakfast and go.

WTFisNext · 23/08/2021 08:52

@MonsterMunch99

Prepping the night before is a no-brainer.

But one of our kids is a light sleeper. Supposing despite all my prepping and tiptoeing, it's impossible to leave the house without waking him, and because he's noisy, he wakes DP, what then?

My eldest is a light sleeper, she would often wake at the sound of the key in the lock when I'd managed to pad around in silence getting ready at 6am.

But the crucial thing to my husband was that I made every effort to be quiet in the morning, everything in another room ready to go in the morning. Anything else would have been selfish.

shinynewapple21 · 23/08/2021 08:55

DH used to do shift work and had to get up at 4.45 in the morning . He would have his work clothes in the spare room and everything else packed up in the kitchen so even though I would get woken by the alarm I was able to drift back to sleep as he wasn't moving around in the room I was sleeping in .

CherieBabySpliffUp · 23/08/2021 08:56

Depending on the age of the child then a conversation can be had about their noise. It's their noise which is waking your DP not yours.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 23/08/2021 08:57

What then?
Well, then it's just tough shit. Of course you must do everything possible to reduce the noise (getting your stuff sorted the night before etc) but once that's done then you've done your part and if they wake up that's unfortunate but they need to get the fuck over it. It's one day a week. It's you going to work, not out on the piss.

Icannever · 23/08/2021 08:57

Try white noise or a fan in your light sleepers bedroom. That’s what we do and it really helps. Only problem is none of us can sleep without the fan noise now 😀. We have to take one to hotels etc. Although that really helps block out hotel noises as well 😊

QueenHofScotland · 23/08/2021 09:00

6am is a perfectly reasonable time to get up to get ready for work. I appreciate in the holidays it’s maybe not as good but two days per week isn’t going to kill anyone.

As you’ve said, prepare the night before - even leave a cup, tea bag and spoon out - or take a kettle into your bedroom if you are so desperate for a walk drink while you get ready. Or get up at 5.45 and grab a coffee en route!

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 23/08/2021 09:01

@MonsterMunch99

Prepping the night before is a no-brainer.

But one of our kids is a light sleeper. Supposing despite all my prepping and tiptoeing, it's impossible to leave the house without waking him, and because he's noisy, he wakes DP, what then?

Then DP gets up? What alternative is he proposing - you don't go to work??
Skiptheheartsandflowers · 23/08/2021 09:02

because he's noisy, he wakes DP, what then?

Surely he can cope with being woken by his own child one day a week? Is this such a rarity for him? What happens on all the other mornings?

Anothermountain · 23/08/2021 09:03

In our household, if you are getting up to earn collective money for the household,or looking after animals, then you do what you need to do (obviously don't make noise on purpose) but get up and get on and everyone else has to put up with it!

hifidelityhi · 23/08/2021 09:05

@Anothermountain

In our household, if you are getting up to earn collective money for the household,or looking after animals, then you do what you need to do (obviously don't make noise on purpose) but get up and get on and everyone else has to put up with it!
Exactly! I'm interested to know what alternative solution the OP's DH has in mind....
namechange321654 · 23/08/2021 09:06

@Cassandraprobs

If you showered and got all your clothes the night before I don't see how loud you could be to wake everyone up then.
Yes, just shower the night before and put your clothes in the spare room. -if you want to be considerate, that is.

if you are resentful of your early start and want to punish your household, then sure, go ahead and keep on making avoidable levels of noise doing unnecessary tasks early in the morning Hmm

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