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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get up early for work and wake the whole family?

211 replies

MonsterMunch99 · 23/08/2021 07:42

I go into London once a week for work, and normally I get up at 7 which gets me into the office about 9:30. Occasionally I'm awake early and decide to get the earlier train, so I can be in the office for 8:30. This means I have to creep into our bedroom at 6:15 (I sleep in the spare room, but all my stuff is in our room), grab some clothes, then creep out and shower in another bathroom. Our place is open plan so if I make too much noise in the kitchen it's audible throughout the house. I obviously try to tiptoe everywhere, and even eat my cereal in another room, but it still wakes everyone up.

I can see it's annoying - I also hate being woken up early. But if I'm awake and ready to go at 6am, what am I supposed to do - just lie there for an hour?

Obviously if I planned better I could get my stuff ready the night before, which would alleviate the issue a bit - but I would probably still wake everyone up.

What's reasonable here? I can't be the only person getting up earlier than DP in order to go to work.

OP posts:
junebirthdaygirl · 23/08/2021 07:59

My ds leaves at 6am every morning. I wake up later and regularly think..oh no he has slept it out! Only to realise he has gone. I hear nothing although l don't think he creeps around. Its the going into the room that's the problem.

mafted · 23/08/2021 08:01

6:15 is early to me!
DH wakes me up when he leaves on a Monday at 5:00, I don't mind too much as I usually don't see him again until Friday. If it was every day it would be annoying.

SmileyClare · 23/08/2021 08:01

It wakes everyone up

Who is everyone? If you're walking small dc or a baby up which your partner has to deal with at 6am then that could be annoying.

Otherwise, I don't think you should have to avoid using the kitchen or showering in the morning for the sake of other adults or teen dc. I'm sure they can nod back off if they're that tired.

EnjoyingTheSilence · 23/08/2021 08:02

Really pisses me off when dh does this (or did this pre covid)

Whenever I had to get up earlier for work, I would always prepare the night before. It’s disrespectful not to.

Some noise is inevitable but what you’ve said about getting dresses etc is very unreasonable

LagunaBubbles · 23/08/2021 08:02

6 isn't early at all

Howshouldibehave · 23/08/2021 08:03

@CMOTDibbler

Actually I think it is unreasonable. If you know you will be getting up early, have a shower the night before, sort your clothes out and put them where you sleep, and have a breakfast you take with you, or have it at work. But I call reverse on this
Hmmm, it does have the feel of a reverse about it, doesn’t it [confused.

I bloody hate reverse threads.

MargosKaftan · 23/08/2021 08:04

Well for a commute getting up at 6:15am is early but not crazy early. (In order to be ready to get the train to school in September, dc1 will be getting up at 6:45, so half an hour early is hardly middle of the night).

Why are you sleeping in the spare room? If this is permanent move, can you move your office clothes into the spare room too? Beyond that, just get ready as quietly as you can, but don't miss breakfast just to avoid waking up others, presume its getting on for 6:30/6:40 by then anyway.

StrawBeretMoose · 23/08/2021 08:05

YABU to wake everyone up.
6:15 is bloody early to me as I don't need to be up until 8:15 /8:30 so I don't go to bed early (natural night owl).

Be more organised, leave your clothes ready, be quieter in general, don't slam doors, preferably don't use a noisy hairdryer.

DH gets up early sometimes, he usually wakes me getting out of bed but gets shirt shrift if he comes back to faff around in the bedroom.

Shoxfordian · 23/08/2021 08:07

Yabu as you can just take your clothes into the spare room if you’re going to go in early

Gladioli23 · 23/08/2021 08:08

I think I'd shower the night before if it were possible, that would be one major noise removed. I'd also definitely have clothes out the night before. If you're on the train I'd be pretty tempted to switch breakfast so you pick it up out the fridge and eat on the train. Others than that the only remaining noisy thing is the kettle and I can't begrudge anyone 6 am tea.

With the above methods and bags packed I used to be up at 6, out the house by 6:20 and have got to the station, parked my bike, bought my ticket and be on the train by 6:52.

Miliao · 23/08/2021 08:09

It’s one day a week and it’s not even early! You’re obviously a very light sleeper, and it would be annoying everyday but it’s once, and only 6.15! Yes, your husband/wife could lay their stuff out the night before, but if you don’t think it will make a difference then there’s not much point. Embrace the slightly earlier wake up, make a coffee and lie in bed and read the papers!

SmileyClare · 23/08/2021 08:09

I suppose one easy solution is to buy a small wardrobe or rail and move all your work clothes into the spare room if that's where you sleep.

Other than that, I wouldn't be at all bothered about hearing a partner showering or making coffee while I was lying in bed. It's not as if you've got up for the fun of it, you're going to work.

PurBal · 23/08/2021 08:09

Put your clothes in the room you sleep in? Not sure we can call 6 particularly early either.

lannistunut · 23/08/2021 08:11

Obviously if I planned better I could get my stuff ready the night before, which would alleviate the issue a bit - but I would probably still wake everyone up.

Do this - you are being inconsiderate by not trying to minimise the impact. You could prep a breakfast that can be eaten in your bedroom too, or on the train.

I don;t understand why you're not trying harder, we manage not to wake everyone when we leave early, and have open plan too.

StrongArm · 23/08/2021 08:11

what a bizarre thread

I have always been the first to go to work in our house. I set out my clothes the night before (mainly for speed in the morning rather than anything else), I sleep in my own bed, sometimes I shower if I have time otherwise I would have showered the night before, I get dressed, I leave. I don't think I intentionally wake up anyone - I'm not being purposefully loud - I'm just getting up to go to work. I don't eat breakfast at home so that avoids any kitchen noise, I sometimes take something with me but it's usually just an apple etc.

if you did this every day, you'd be a lot more streamlined believe me!

BaronessOfTheNorth · 23/08/2021 08:12

When you said "early" I thought you were going to say 4am!!!

As long as you're trying to be quiet and not waking people up, it shouldn't be an issue. Also...it's one day a week.

FlippantFair · 23/08/2021 08:12

Reverse!
6.15 is hardly the middle of the night.
Whoever it is can prepare the night before (did this in our house for many years)
My very passive aggressive ex used to turn on all the lights, crash about and sit on the bed to spray his deodorant, always in my direction, if he had to go somewhere early (not that often but he liked me awake to applaud his performance)
Current DH is extremely good at sneaking out quietly, or in, if he's very late.
But he's lovely and respectful, and I always open my eyes and give him a quick kiss goodbye.

Kettletoaster · 23/08/2021 08:12

I’m still laughing at the ‘6.15am is early’ comment. In this house, everyone is up by 6am weekdays and weekends! If I had to get up before 5am for work, I’d sleep in the other bedroom. Anything later then everyone in this house is usually awake anyway

MargosKaftan · 23/08/2021 08:13

It might be easier for everyone if you aim for the earlier train and plan for it (and frankly being at work for 8:30am having got up at 6:15am is hardly middle of the night).

If you oversleep, you get the later train but plan for the early one including office clothes being laid out /moved to the spare room too.

If you are in the spare room because your marriage is in trouble, then this might feel like a deliberate attempt to be annoying. But 8:30am is a reasonable time to aim to be at work for most office jobs.

m0therofdragons · 23/08/2021 08:14

My 10 yo twins usually wake around 6.30am - they get up and have breakfast together without me hearing a thing so you really can control this. Although once a week being woken for dh to go to work early wouldn’t bother me - I’d just turn over and go back to sleep.

SoundBar · 23/08/2021 08:14

6.15 is not early. I'm amazed you manage to commute into London any later OP!

I also call reverse

Miniroofbox · 23/08/2021 08:17

Reverse?

Why don’t you shower the night before? Leave straighteners, make up, clothes, whatever in spare room and get ready there?

EatSprayGlove · 23/08/2021 08:17

I used to get up at 5am one day a week and as others have said I just set everything out the night before. Makeup in the bathroom rather than at my dressing table in the bedroom. Sometimes I would sleep in the spare room but I got a watch with a silent alarm so stopped doing that, showered night before because shower is against the kids bunk bed wall and is noisy. I caused very little disturbance and that was the day I had full breakfast as I could do so in peace! If you're careful it's easy to be quiet, the unavoidable bits were walking down our squeaky stairs and shutting the front door!

Disfordarkchocolate · 23/08/2021 08:17

Noise travels in our house even with the doors closed due to crappy 60s building.

It's unlikely I could get ready and not wake my husband, however, I would still try to minimise the nose a bit more. Great tips above re taking breakfast with you, clothes out the night before etc.

PeonyTime · 23/08/2021 08:18

Do a bit of planning and prep so as to minimise the disturbance, but 6.15 isnt exactly crack of dawn.