to get up early for work and wake the whole family?

[MonsterMunch99]

I go into London once a week for work, and normally I get up at 7 which gets me into the office about 9:30. Occasionally I'm awake early and decide to get the earlier train, so I can be in the office for 8:30. This means I have to creep into our bedroom at 6:15 (I sleep in the spare room, but all my stuff is in our room), grab some clothes, then creep out and shower in another bathroom. Our place is open plan so if I make too much noise in the kitchen it's audible throughout the house. I obviously try to tiptoe everywhere, and even eat my cereal in another room, but it still wakes everyone up.

I can see it's annoying - I also hate being woken up early. But if I'm awake and ready to go at 6am, what am I supposed to do - just lie there for an hour?

Obviously if I planned better I could get my stuff ready the night before, which would alleviate the issue a bit - but I would probably still wake everyone up.

What's reasonable here? I can't be the only person getting up earlier than DP in order to go to work.

But one of our kids is a light sleeper. Supposing despite all my prepping and tiptoeing, it's impossible to leave the house without waking him, and because he's noisy, he wakes DP, what then?

Well, that's just life! DP can get on with it.

@MonsterMunch99

sorry what does reverse mean?

Something some MNetters get VERY excited about, along with getting your ducks in a row, gaslighting and drip feeding.

Thats just ridiculous. Walking on eggshells.

I agree, Op shouldn't have to forgo showering or eating at home (unless it's a silent banana) in the morning either. Neither should she have to "organise some quiet craft activities" for children that wake as someone suggested!

I'm just waiting for someone to suggest dossing down at the station the night before your commute in full work attire.

The other adult can get up half an hour earlier and supervise their own child one morning a week to facilitate their partner getting ready for work.

I can't see how your family get so upset about a 45 minute difference (6.15am v 7am). You have to get ready for work, if it wakes the kids and DP up that's just life.

@MonsterMunch99

Prepping the night before is a no-brainer.

But one of our kids is a light sleeper. Supposing despite all my prepping and tiptoeing, it's impossible to leave the house without waking him, and because he's noisy, he wakes DP, what then?

I regularly leave the house before either DH or DS get up (at least 4 days out of 7, if not more).

The bathroom is right beside DS bedroom, the lounge/kitchen are open plan with open plan stairs going up to the landing. DS bedroom is the first one at the top and is actually above the open plan lounge/kitchen.

I have NEVER woken him in 13 years.

YABmassivelyU and clearly noisier than you think you are.

How old is the light sleeper?

I hadn't twigged that it was only about half an hour earlier than normal get up time once a week. Honestly, move your work clothes into the room you sleep in and crack on as quietly as you can, but if dc wakes up 30 mins early, its hardly the end of the world for your DP to cope with.

Thats just ridiculous. Walking on eggshells.

what is ridiculous with basic manners and consideration for others. Who wants to live with someone who pretends others don't matter and should put up with their selfishness.

If the OP was a man, I bet some answers would be different.

Pretty normal to be quiet when you wake up first and the rest of the house is still sleeping. Especially when they are not even your roommates, but your own family.

what is ridiculous with basic manners and consideration for others. Who wants to live with someone who pretends others don't matter and should put up with their selfishness.

Does the OP REALLY sound to you like she doesn't care? And I fail to see what's selfish about someone going out to work to provide for their family.

Pretty normal to be quiet when you wake up first and the rest of the house is still sleeping. She says she 'creeps' and 'tiptoes' but people still wake up. Beyond common-sense things like sleeping and changing in another room, which she is doing/is going to start doing, I don't see how she can be any quieter.
It's not her fault or responsibility that her household is so noise-sensitive. And it's once a week, for heaven's sake! Why can't her DP just get up with the kids for one day?

The partner need to go to sleep an hour earlier if they're suffering so much from waking 30 minutes before usual.

If it's only once a week, partner needs to accept that it's an unpleasant fact of life. I would work on teaching your child not to get up until the clock says it's time, though, or encourage them to do some quiet activity in bed if they wake early.

The common sense approach is for the person who doesn’t get up early to sleep in the spare room. Then OP can have access to clothes and en suite, and should be able to avoid waking anyone up.

It really isn't particularly early. Why are you in the spare room?

We have this daily, one of us travels in each day. Whoever is up early (5.45 in my case), always has all their stuff in the en-suite, bags are packed ready to go by the front door - shoes and coat ready to go. ...Make up in a bag to do on the train if I can't do it in the bathroom.

We don't eat breakfast at home but I do have a container for overnight oats that I used to take so I could grab and go. Essentially once I'm up, I'm in the bathroom for 15mins, and out the door within 25mins of my alarm going off. We do this so that the person at home doesn't have to get up at the arsecrack of dawn to get ready ahead of DD. Yes we wake each other, but it's slightly and usually able to doze back off for 30mins.

It sounds like you don't do all you can initially to minimise disruption, I.E clothes out the night before, is a grab and go brekkie an option? But then the time you get up is not obscenely early. So you're both BU

I don't think 4:30 is particularly early.

I get up half an hour before I go to bed.

6 am is very early to me. We only get up at 8am and every house is different.

There is definitely a way of doing this so as not to wake everyone.

I have my clothes laid out the night before etc and get ready in the spare room. DH clomps around like he has concrete feet. He sings in the shower which is under our bedroom then runs upstairs and turns on the light to get his pants and clothes, the stands separating deodorant, getting his medication from the bedside drawer etc…I use ‘fuck’ a lot…‘shut the fuck uuuup!’, ‘fuck sake’ etc then I am awake and fuming.

"x o'clock is not early."

For you. For others it might be, I don't know ... different!

You need to learn to walk like a cat 🐈 use all the bones and muscles in your feet so you’re silent. Don’t step on creaky boards. Oil all doors.

Keep your clothes in the spare room, along with a mirror and any make up or hair stuff you need.

I used to wake at 5am for work, would creep downstairs, have breakfast, creep upstairs, through master bedroom (where DH was still asleep), through another room to the shower, then get dressed in adjoining room, creep to spare room to do hair and make up then leave by 6am. DH always slept through.

When we were in a flat he also slept through, as DC used to wake around 5am too so the TV would be ok and I used DC’s shower rather than en-suite.

Either my DH sleeps very deeply or I’ve mastered the art of being light footed, I’m not sure 😂

As long as you’re being as quiet as you possibly can I don’t see the problem.

@daisychain01

6.15 is hardly "early"!

If your DP is that worried can't they get ear plugs.

You could make things easier for yourself by putting everything you need in the spare room the night before, rather than having to go into the bedroom rummaging around in the morning. It would also be a time-saver.

Are you for real. Of course it's early!

But one of our kids is a light sleeper. Supposing despite all my prepping and tiptoeing, it's impossible to leave the house without waking him, and because he's noisy, he wakes DP, what then?

You train DC to be super quiet even if that means he/she tiptoes round after you like a shadow. Or sit DC down with a very quiet game on the tablet and breakfast.

I live by myself, so no concerns of waking anyone up (other than me !) but if I had to get up that early I'd sort my clothes out the day before.

train DC to be super quiet even if that means he/she tiptoe around after you like a shadow. Or sit dc down with a very quiet game

What on earth? Unless the other adult in the house has worked a night shift, what terrible thing will happen if they're woken up and have to have one of their children clamber into bed with them? Or God forbid they have to get out of bed and supervise them or make some toast?
Why should one parent not only have to get up early for a long commute but also have to entertain a child in whispers whilst trying to get ready?

The reason that most posters are saying 6 or 6.30 isn't that early is because your average working parent is capable of going to bed by about 11pm so that's over seven hours of sleep.

If a partner is leaving early one day a week, get to bed at a reasonable time and be prepared to get up if necessary.

This sounds incredibly stressful. I can't imagine maybe leaving early one day a week being this much of an issue ! Your DP is being a bit precious expecting everything to revolve around him having a bit if extra sleep.

What age is the light sleeper?

Blimey this is nuts ... “silent banana” 🤣, how noisily could you eat a banana if you really tried!!

Blimey this is nuts ... “silent banana” 🤣, how noisily could you eat a banana if you really tried!!

TBH I thought the "silent banana" was some kind of euphemism but didn't like to ask. I've been out of the UK for a long time now so wondered if it was some kind of slang expression which everyone except me knows about.