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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get up early for work and wake the whole family?

211 replies

MonsterMunch99 · 23/08/2021 07:42

I go into London once a week for work, and normally I get up at 7 which gets me into the office about 9:30. Occasionally I'm awake early and decide to get the earlier train, so I can be in the office for 8:30. This means I have to creep into our bedroom at 6:15 (I sleep in the spare room, but all my stuff is in our room), grab some clothes, then creep out and shower in another bathroom. Our place is open plan so if I make too much noise in the kitchen it's audible throughout the house. I obviously try to tiptoe everywhere, and even eat my cereal in another room, but it still wakes everyone up.

I can see it's annoying - I also hate being woken up early. But if I'm awake and ready to go at 6am, what am I supposed to do - just lie there for an hour?

Obviously if I planned better I could get my stuff ready the night before, which would alleviate the issue a bit - but I would probably still wake everyone up.

What's reasonable here? I can't be the only person getting up earlier than DP in order to go to work.

OP posts:
m0therofdragons · 23/08/2021 08:18

Pre 7am is early for everyone I know except one family and clearly in op’s house it’s early and not working for her family. The family I know that gets up at 6am goes to bed at 9pm. We go to bed at 11.30pm ish, usually midnight.

SmileyClare · 23/08/2021 08:18

You only have to get up at 7am (and very occasionally 6am) one day a week? You're careful to creep about.

Who is finding it so annoying? Your partner? Do they tip toe around like a silent mouse if you ever have a lie in?

rookiemere · 23/08/2021 08:19

I think in many ways super early is easier for the non getting up partner. If it's say 4am you just roll over and go back to sleep but I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep again after 6 so I'd just get up and be a bit grumpy about it.

Sciurus83 · 23/08/2021 08:20

misses point

More evidence to support my hatred of open plan

But yeh you need to put your clothes in your room

underneaththeash · 23/08/2021 08:23

I don’t think that’s early either. DH was up at 5.30 for years and we’re now up term time at 6.20.

Your DP could sleep in the spare room instead if it bothers him.

YouHaveNotFuckedUp · 23/08/2021 08:26

All you weirdos suggesting having a shower the night before are a bit skanky IMHO. I would feel very icky if I didn’t shower after a nights sleep. But maybe I am actually just naturally more skanky in bed and you wake up fresh as daisies anyway Confused

honeylulu · 23/08/2021 08:26

I work in London (well returning soon after long stint WFH) and catch a 6.15 train so have to get up at 5.30. I always manage to get out of the house without waking anyone. Clothes/bag all set out the night before. Quick shower (not in en suite) dry and dress in bathroom, quietly downstairs and out the door. No lights on except in bathroom. I don't have a cup of tea before I go, not least because I'm desperate for a wee on the journey otherwise. Do make up on train. Breakfast when I get to the office. Easy peasy.

If it was the other way around yes I'd be really annoyed by someone going in and out of rooms, lights on/off, clanking around with cereal etc. Get yourself organised.

The alternative is you use the extra hour doing something else constructive but quiet rather than leaving early. Reading? Watching something on tablet with headphones? As you're in the spare room (why?) those things won't disturb anyone.

caughtinanet · 23/08/2021 08:27

@LagunaBubbles

6 isn't early at all
You mean you don't think it's early. Everyone has different lives and different opinions. There's no international standard on what “early” means

To the other members of the OPs household it clearly is or why would there even be a thread Hmm

Lots of good suggestions OP- do those

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 23/08/2021 08:28

Whether its early or not isnt relevant. Its earlier than others in the house and is waking them up. If it's an hour earlier than everyone normally wakes then its early.

Get clothes out the night before, get your family to sleep with white noise or a fan on in their rooms so it masks some of the noise, work out the triggers and eliminate them eg if the kettle is waking them up, turn it off a bit earlier or buy a hot drink at the station. If it's you walking about, don't put your shoes on til you're at the door. Etc

Original poster
MonsterMunch99 · 23/08/2021 08:29

Prepping the night before is a no-brainer.

But one of our kids is a light sleeper. Supposing despite all my prepping and tiptoeing, it's impossible to leave the house without waking him, and because he's noisy, he wakes DP, what then?

OP posts:
slapmyarseandcallmemary · 23/08/2021 08:29

I get up at 5.30 for work some days. Our house is small and we have a shower system that works off some kind of suction (last person that lived here had bathroom refitted due to illness) and it is so loud. I leave my clothes, hair dryer, etc out the night before. I try to limit my time in the noisy shower and I dry my hair downstairs with the door shut. My toddlers do tend to get up about 6.15 anyway, so I try not to stress too much about it, I can't help it, I need to get up at that time for work unfortunately.

HelloDulling · 23/08/2021 08:31

@YouHaveNotFuckedUp

All you weirdos suggesting having a shower the night before are a bit skanky IMHO. I would feel very icky if I didn’t shower after a nights sleep. But maybe I am actually just naturally more skanky in bed and you wake up fresh as daisies anyway Confused
Me too! I’m always amazed that people do the school run in gym gear then go home for a shower. No way could I go to work on last night’s shower.
Miniroofbox · 23/08/2021 08:32

I shower then go to bed. I don’t go to the gym before work. I’m perfectly clean why wouldn’t I go on to work?

Antsinyourpanta · 23/08/2021 08:33

I sleep really lightly (and really badly) DH often wakes at 5.30 or 6 for work and always wakes me (not always deliberately) he sometimes opens the curtains and seems to make loads of noise in the kitchen but it's my problem because I am a light sleeper. It's way more annoying when he does the same thing at weekends or holidays (and starts talking to me when he knows I hate getting up early !)

Thesearmsofmine · 23/08/2021 08:33

I just knew there would be loads of posters saying it isn’t early, like some kind of weird boast. 6 am is early and the OP’s family also feel it is early for them, no amount of mumsnetters saying it isn’t early is going to change that.

I would be as organised as possible, my DH is up at 4.30 some weeks and he has everything ready and a shower the evening before. We sleep in the same room but usually I don’t wake, occasionally I do but it’s early enough that I can drop back to sleep.

MindatWork · 23/08/2021 08:34

Your posts have a really weird vibe about them op - are you trying to prove a point to someone with this thread?

Original poster
MonsterMunch99 · 23/08/2021 08:35

sorry what does reverse mean?

OP posts:
Howshouldibehave · 23/08/2021 08:35

@MonsterMunch99

Prepping the night before is a no-brainer.

But one of our kids is a light sleeper. Supposing despite all my prepping and tiptoeing, it's impossible to leave the house without waking him, and because he's noisy, he wakes DP, what then?

How old are they?

Is their bedroom door closed?

Mix56 · 23/08/2021 08:35

I have an idea. Your P sleeps in the spare room, you make a quick coffee, then get breakfast at the station

BeeBobny · 23/08/2021 08:36

Once a week? You do this only once a week? Your dh is BU. I used to get up at 4am for an early shift and that would wake my dh up as he is a light sleeper.
Now dh gets up at 6am, the rest of us at 7.30am. I sometimes wake up to him getting ready. As long as there's a pot of coffee waiting for me, I don't mind 😜
Your dh needs to go to bed earlier, and you need to prep as much as possible the night before. Other than that, there's not much you can do about it.

Totallydefeated · 23/08/2021 08:39

I just knew there would be loads of posters saying it isn’t early, like some kind of weird boast.

Me too!

It’s way too early if you’re naturally a night owl who doesn’t need to get up at sparrow’s fart. Perfectly reasonable of them to expect OP to be as quiet as she can to avoid waking them.

We should all, as far as possible, be able to set our own wake time (or at least be subject to the dictates of only our own work/school schedule), not have it imposed on us if there’s no need to wake.

itsgettingwierd · 23/08/2021 08:39

@Mix56

I have an idea. Your P sleeps in the spare room, you make a quick coffee, then get breakfast at the station
Why would you pay station breakfast prices daily?

SureLy when you decide as a family to agree a job someone takes on you accept that early mornings may be part of that?

SmileyClare · 23/08/2021 08:40

Despite all my prepping and preparing, it's impossible to leave the house without waking (our child)

The only solution then is for your partner to be prepared to wake up earlier one day a week and not moan about it. They can go to bed earlier if they need more sleep.

It depends on the age of the child and their needs. If they're old enough to climb into bed with (dad) and watch something on their IPad for a while, it's hardly a big deal.

Alternatively; If there is no need to get to your desk in London before 9.30 then don't get the earlier train if it's causing this much upset at home.

MargosKaftan · 23/08/2021 08:40

Reverse is when someone posts as the other person - so it would be your DP who was getting up early and you try and post from their point of view to see if others find that reasonable. However there is often a clear bias in the posts that make other posters say you are being unreasonable.

Anyway, aim for the early train every time and then sometimes be late. Put your clothes out thr night before as you are going for the early train. Breakfast as quietly as possible, but sorry by this time it'll be 6:30am which isn't the middle of the night and you are going to work. If your dc wakes up, they wake up. Can you give them breakfast with you before you leave and put tv on until dp is up, are they too young?

Hercisback · 23/08/2021 08:41

Give the child some quiet activities to do.