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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get up early for work and wake the whole family?

211 replies

MonsterMunch99 · 23/08/2021 07:42

I go into London once a week for work, and normally I get up at 7 which gets me into the office about 9:30. Occasionally I'm awake early and decide to get the earlier train, so I can be in the office for 8:30. This means I have to creep into our bedroom at 6:15 (I sleep in the spare room, but all my stuff is in our room), grab some clothes, then creep out and shower in another bathroom. Our place is open plan so if I make too much noise in the kitchen it's audible throughout the house. I obviously try to tiptoe everywhere, and even eat my cereal in another room, but it still wakes everyone up.

I can see it's annoying - I also hate being woken up early. But if I'm awake and ready to go at 6am, what am I supposed to do - just lie there for an hour?

Obviously if I planned better I could get my stuff ready the night before, which would alleviate the issue a bit - but I would probably still wake everyone up.

What's reasonable here? I can't be the only person getting up earlier than DP in order to go to work.

OP posts:
SpiderinaWingMirror · 23/08/2021 09:52

My dh has to be the loudest person ever and pre covid would get up at 5.30.
I used to put the light on, read, listen to the radio and enjoy the tea he bought me up.

ActonSquirrel · 23/08/2021 09:52

Sodding auto correct...deal with your pets.

ikeepseeingit · 23/08/2021 09:53

Really surprised everyone thinks 6:15 isn’t early! Past 7 I would say is normal, but 6 am is early in this house. We don’t get to sleep until midnight so being on 6 hrs sleep isn’t much fun. If you go to bed at half ten then of course you would think it’s absolutely normal, as you’ve had enough sleep. Just put your clothes out and have a shower the night before, there’s not much else you can do.

SmileyClare · 23/08/2021 09:55

@Skiptheheartsandflowers

because he's noisy, he wakes DP, what then?

Surely he can cope with being woken by his own child one day a week? Is this such a rarity for him? What happens on all the other mornings?

This. If you have an early riser who wakes if you so much as cough or stand on a creaky floorboard, then your partner needs to get up at half six and be a parent. This is to facilitate you getting to work.

I'm not sure if you're deliberately giving as little detail as possible but presumably he/she can get to bed by 11 one day a week a be capable of waking up 7 hours later?

I would never get up and dressed in the dark and leave the house for work without washing getting ready, having a coffee or eating breakfast.
For one thing, I always wake up with my hair half sticking up and half plastered to my face, a bit sweaty, sleep crusted eyes, pillow creases on my face and barely knowing what my own name is. Fuck getting the train in that state, Shock

icedcoffees · 23/08/2021 09:57

@ActonSquirrel

As it is, my DH is up at six every weekday for work. He showers the night before, leaves his clothes downstairs so he doesn't wake me, and he also deals with feeding my cats and letting my dog out - so that they don't wake me when he's gone because they've not been fed or toileted

Good for you and him 👏

I wouldn't delay with your let's just so you can lie in bed until 9am

He doesn't do it "so I can have a lie in".

He does it because it's a nice thing to do Smile

daisychain01 · 23/08/2021 09:57

@MonsterMunch99

sorry what does reverse mean?
It means the scenario in your OP is, for example, your DP and you're testing the water as to whether you're unreasonable to be annoyed at him for waking up your household.

Is the situation reversed? I.e is your DP the early waker, not you? If so tell him to get everything ready the night before so he isn't rummaging around.

Bluesheep8 · 23/08/2021 10:07

Obviously if I planned better I could get my stuff ready the night before, which would alleviate the issue abit- but I would probably still wake everyone up.

Try it and see?

SD1978 · 23/08/2021 10:10

Why don't you have clothes already in the same room, if that's where you sleep? Decreases the creeping factor surely?

isthisareverse · 23/08/2021 10:10

@ActonSquirrel

You have to work so that's that.

6:15 isn't that early. I get up earlier than that and so do many people I know.

one of my neighbours wakes up at 4:30. So 4am is fine?
isthisareverse · 23/08/2021 10:10

My kids don't get up before 7:30 on a school day!
Schools don't start at 7am, no need to be up at 6.

SmileyClare · 23/08/2021 10:17

My dh is up at 6 every weekday. .he also deals with feeding my cats and letting my dog out so they don't wake me

Love how you call them "my" animals Grin

SmileyClare · 23/08/2021 10:19

@isthisareverse

My kids don't get up before 7:30 on a school day! Schools don't start at 7am, no need to be up at 6.
There would be a need to get up earlier if one of your children was a light sleeper woken by an adult leaving for work at half six.

I'm not sure what your point is?

Singleorigincoffee · 23/08/2021 10:29

I don't know if you're unreasonable but if it's one day, organisation for that one day shouldn't be too hard.

Dh used to sleep in as he didn't need to be in the office til 9am and I needed to be in a 8am, but he's a heavy sleeper so I can't help you. And we lived in a small flat at the time so it wasnt quiet. And I used to be in the kitchen in the next room making cooked brekkie before work. His was kept warm in the oven. No issues for us. But maybe the cooked brekkie was bribe enough lol

DespairingHomeowner · 23/08/2021 10:29

@MonsterMunch99: I suggest you put a work outfit & a back up work outfit in the spare room to make the morning easier, plus work bag, pack breakfast etc - all the stuff others have suggested

my 1 add - when I have to get up really early I shower/blow dry hair night before, then I can just do a 'rinse' shower in the morning which saves time/noise

Can you move your DC's bed so it catches less noise (ie away from his door/your path) OR: put all your clothes downstairs & get dressed there so less moving around

If all else fails, whole family can go to bed earlier the night before!

isthisareverse · 23/08/2021 10:32

SmileyClare
I'm not sure what your point is?

my point is that "6am is not early* is bollocks. In the real world, it IS early.

And I say that as someone who is in the train at 6:15am when I go to the office that day...

Balgoresboy · 23/08/2021 10:36

''Basically get up, shower, dress and quietly out the door, I'd get a coffee if I needed it once at work, had water bottle in bag along with a cereal bar for energy on the journey in...Being constantly woken up by others noisyness is infuriating in the morning''

Yet you showered? Showering is loud in many places and can be heard throughout the house/flat especially when everybody is asleep.

sloutside · 23/08/2021 10:36

But one of our kids is a light sleeper. Supposing despite all my prepping and tiptoeing, it's impossible to leave the house without waking him, and because he's noisy, he wakes DP, what then?

Tough shit. DP will have to get up to deal with his child.
If you have children that's what has to happen.
You could be more organized in the evening with clothes etc. You can't do much about breakfast noise really - that's one of the disadvantages of open plan houses. Is it the kettle which is noisy?

Has DP complained about this?

Branleuse · 23/08/2021 10:37

sorting your stuff the night before is just about getting into a new routine. Its only annoying the first couple of times.
Also nothing skanky about showering at night and then not in the morning. Thats just about routine too. You only feel you need to shower in the morning because youve got used to it. People that shower at night dont go round feeling gross all day. Its psychological

Hopeisnotastrategy · 23/08/2021 10:44

@YouHaveNotFuckedUp

All you weirdos suggesting having a shower the night before are a bit skanky IMHO. I would feel very icky if I didn’t shower after a nights sleep. But maybe I am actually just naturally more skanky in bed and you wake up fresh as daisies anyway Confused
I too thought that sounded less than dainty, and I'm normally as fresh as a daisy, 🤣
OhamIreally · 23/08/2021 10:46

@anon12345678901

To me 6 isn't early but I get up at 4:30 for the gym, I don't shower until I'm home around 6:30 though, don't wake people either. If you do follow tips given and it still wakes DP, they'll have to cope. If it's for work reasons once a week, what's the problem? The DP can simply wake up an hour earlier.
I don't think 4:30 is particularly early.

I get up half an hour before I go to bed.

isthisareverse · 23/08/2021 10:54

You can't do much about breakfast noise really

Unless you have a Costa set up in your kitchen and a steady flow of customers, what are all these "breakfast noises"?

Antsinyourpanta · 23/08/2021 10:55

I get up half an hour before I go to bed.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 23/08/2021 10:57

Get a rubber spoon to eat your cereal with. A metal spoon and rice krispies can sound like Notting Hill Carnival with fireworks. 🎉

IntermittentParps · 23/08/2021 11:00

As for showering, I found a way to shower silently by sitting in the bath with the shower head unhooked next to me. Not a great experience but gets you clean.
That's just ridiculous. Walking on eggshells. I'd be questioning my family relationships if I felt I had to do things like that rather than risk waking them. What's the worst that can happen, really, if someone is woken a bit earlier than they'd like, once a week?

Coldilox · 23/08/2021 11:04

I get up at 5ish, leave at 6. Wife and DS usually both fast asleep when I leave, although sometimes DS will just be getting up (he’s an early riser).

I leave my clothes out. I don’t eat breakfast until I get to work, but I do make myself a coffee in the bean to cup machine. Also open plan downstairs.

It is what it is. If DW wakes up she just goes back to sleep. Mostly she doesn’t though.